Tag Archives: society

Halloween: Monsters, vampires, witches, ghosts…

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Happy Halloween!

Happy Halloween!

Yes, it is that time of the year again. Turn on the haunted music, put out some spooky displays and cook up some ‘scary’ recipes. October 31st is approaching – The Halloween is here!

Orange and black colors are the main theme this time. The houses are decorated with spooky stuff. The fake gigantic spider-webs are covering the bushes and trees in the front yards. The scare-crows are marking their territories. Carved pumpkins with orange lights complete the scene.

The shopping malls are staged with Halloween accessories. Halloween costumes of monsters, ghosts, skeletons, witches, devils….are on display. The ‘creepy scene’ is enhanced with the gloom-and-doom music playing in the background. The haunted attractions combine entertainment and thrill, in a scary way!

The stores are stocked up with truck loads of candy; there are so many different kinds to choose from. Make your choice wisely; think KIDS and you will know which ones to buy; which ones will make the little monsters happy. If not ‘treated’ with the proper sugar, they may brand your place as ‘the house with bad candies’ and even have some ‘tricks’ all over your property – like raw eggs spattered on your front door or on your car parked outside…

Creepy costumes
The kids are busy planning, planning for their Halloween costume. The goal is simple – scarier the better! Fancier the cuter! Continue reading →

Spiritual but not religious

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Spirituality without religion is a growing trend!

Every religion is based on the principles that cater to the welfare of its followers. Most of the religions provide a guidance or knowledge -the enlightenment- on how to get closer to the God. The religion and spirituality often go hand-in-hand. The religion provides commandments or ‘rules’ on how to be a better human being; a basic foundation of spirituality.

However, there is trend amongst modern generations of finding ways to be spiritual without being religious. According to a Newsweek Beliefnet poll in USA, about 24% of the population identifies itself as ‘Spiritual but not religious.’

Rather than looking for God, more and more of us are looking for ‘how to improve ourselves’ or ‘how to be better human being’ or ‘how to find peace in life’. If you look around, more and more of us are searching for a balance in life.

In today’s society, everybody is very busy – may be too busy for no reason, but that is a topic for some other time :) . Gone are the days when going on pilgrimage was part of ‘thing to do’. Instead, most of us are looking for some answers in our own backyard, within our own soul. Rather than saying an hour-long prayer – without knowing the meaning of the words in it, focus is shifting to self improvement, being a better person.

Our priorities are shifting with time. Instead of looking for ‘enlightenment’ or searching for ways to guarantee a place in the ‘heaven’, the focus is on the present life and what comes with it – the daily challenges, the daily dilemmas, the daily rewards, the daily karma… Continue reading →

How to change a perception

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How to change others’ perceptions about you!

“It takes 20 years to build a reputation and five minutes to ruin it. If you think about that, you’ll do things differently.” ~ Warren Buffett

“My boss thinks I am lazy!”
“Well, you are always last to the office in the morning.”
“But, I am always last to leave in the evening.”
“Yeah, but she is already gone by then, she wouldn’t know that.”
“I seriously need to do something to change her perception about me!”

Perception is you mind’s eye:
A perception is how we ‘see’ something or someone in our own mind. The common beliefs or assumptions play a role in the existing perception. Based on many factors including social and environmental surroundings, this is the way our brain ‘perceives’ something or someone. True or false, a strong perception is no less than the real truth. This is how we see things in our ‘mind’s eye’.
Once established in our brain, a perception becomes a part of our thinking, a part of our life; it is hard to change.

How to change the perceptions:
So, how do you change others’ perception about you?
Some perceptions are easy to change. For example, in the conversation above, the boss has a perception about one of her employees of being lazy. That perception can be easily changed by being proactive, by showing up to the office before anybody else does EVERYDAY. Note that to change a perception, you have to be consistent -again and again.

The most effective way to change a perception is to prove it – the perception- wrong consistently. Show everybody that what they believe is very different from the reality. Here are a few common approaches for changing a perception

Create awareness: Let everyone around you know that what they perceive is not true. Share the facts; share the information to prove your side. Nobody denies the facts – unless you are dealing with someone whose mind is already made-up no matter what; in that case, it is not a perception but a deep rooted bias and prejudice.

Build a relation and trust: For others to listen to you and your side, you need have a relation -a closeness- with the other side. If they trust you, they will believe your facts. If not, no matter how reliable your source is, they won’t get your side of the story. Continue reading →

The overseas culture shock

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Culture shock for new immigrants abroad

“The wise adapt themselves to circumstances, as water moulds itself to the pitcher” ~Chinese Proverbs

The culture shock is the feeling of anxiety and emotional discomfort that an immigrant suffers when moving to another country or another place with very different culture, customs and social environment.

No matter how open minded we are, it is hard to ignore the differences around us when we first venture out to an overseas place. Be it as a student or as an immigrant, the vast difference in culture and customs is a part of the new encounters, and the early experiences in a new land.

The surroundings and the social settings of the new country are always dramatically different for a newcomer. Everything that was once taken for granted in home country is up for recalibration: the language, the accent, the skin color, the dress code,…. Everything is new; everything is different. The phone works differently; the food is not the same, the traffic laws are confusing…

All of a sudden, our own way of life, our own way of speaking and our own customs become a foreign concept in the new land. This radical change and the sudden differences everywhere in the new country is what we call the culture shock.

This culture shock basically comes from the significant differences in the cultural and social settings as one migrates from one place to another. These resulting effects of all this could include anxiety, confusion, lack of direction, the feeling of not knowing what to do, or how to do things in a new country…. Not knowing what is appropriate or inappropriate, what is accepted and not accepted etc. are the daily dilemmas.

Migrating to another country is an adventure that involves many ‘ups’ and ‘downs’ – the culture shock being one the very first ‘downs’. :(

The feelings and symptoms of culture shock: This mental and emotional phase of confusion from culture shock comes with many new feelings. Depending on the personal tolerance or attitude, the feelings may include: Continue reading →

The Summer Memories!

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 One more Summer gone by, where are your memories? :)

The kids are going back to school; the days are shrinking again, the nights getting longer. The sunny days of summer are ready to say goodbyes. There is a chill in the morning air…
The days go by, the time keep ticking; the meaning of life is lost somewhere in between…

It was only yesterday that we were kids; we used to look forward to the summer breaks. With the hot sun scorching all day, we never cared or complained about the summer heat of India. The air conditioners were rare. To save electric-power, there were electric shut-downs everyday for hours, but that did not bother us much. There were very few things to worry about.

Every summer, there used to be something going on. The life was simple but rewarding. Every day eventful. Even the trivial stuff mattered. Roaming aimlessly with a group of friends had a purpose. The lasting monsoon rains and lightening storms never stopped any of us from venturing out. Stopping was not in our plan towards meaningless destinations… or wandering thoughts….

I remember one summer a friend of mine was infatuated with this girl. She was visiting her aunt, a few houses down the street from his house. She was in town for the summer break.
Every evening on a set time, she used to come out on the roof-top balcony. He would wait for hours- even though he knew she would not come out until her aunt is busy in the kitchen. On the far side of the street, he would stand there waiting…
Eventually she used to come out and he would stand their with a smile; they would exchange the ‘hellos’ by waiving, the controlled little waive without letting anybody else see the gestures. This was their daily ritual that would last from a few minutes to half an hour depending on the surroundings or nosy neighbors. One day, on his asking, I watched them from behind his door. I was his witness, so he could brag to all our friends about this ‘achievement’ of his…. Continue reading →

Crossing the language barrier abroad!

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“The language barrier is probably the most difficult and takes the longest to overcome.” ~ Stephen Lee

Most of the times, the phrase ‘Language barrier’ refers to the difficulties people face during communicating if they don’t speak the same language; or if the speech or accent is too different to communicate effectively.
Almost everyone who ventures out to the worlds far-far away, the language barrier is one of the many hurdles encountered in the new land. For people migrating from India, even though they speak and understand English in most of the cases, the communication problems still exist. The fact is that spoken English in America or other Western countries is not the same as in India. The style, the slang, the acceptable norms….everything is different. One is bound to feel out of place in the beginning of this overseas journey.

The key issues surrounding the language barrier and the best ways to approach or alleviate them are:

The language knowledge: Knowledge of the English language is the most important step toward adjusting and adapting to the English speaking culture and society. The understanding of grammar and sound knowledge of vocabulary are necessary to build a reliable foundation for any language. For people from India, this is not a major issue because most of us learn English in school and have a good command of the language itself.

The ‘thick’ accent: The accent is natural; this is how we talk and speak in our native country growing up. The Indian accent of English –commonly called ‘thick’ accent- is very different from the way they speak English overseas. While there are ways to soften the accent or dramatically reduce it by practice and with conscious effort, it takes time to lose the accent. For details on this topic, refer to the previous post titled ‘A self-help guide to lose your accent!’. Continue reading →

Someone has to say it!

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Find the ‘helping’ voice within, that often goes unheard

“There is no witness so terrible, no accuser so powerful as conscience which dwells within us.” ~ Sophocles

Remember a time when someone needed help and you passed by?
Recall an incident where something felt wrong and thought you should do something and yet, you could not find the courage?
Or, may be it was none of your business, but did you feel bad or guilty walking away?…

In our daily lives, what do we do when we find something wrong, when someone is acting against what we believe is right or moral or ethical?
More often, the answer is ‘nothing’.
We let so many things slide by, it is amazing!
We are often telling our family and friends as to what we believe in, we have our opinions and we are not shy about voicing them. However, the same voice is lost somewhere when we step out of our social or family circle. The opinions get suppressed when we are out of our comfort zone. Continue reading →

Common myths and misconceptions about India!

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The misconceptions that your American/foreigner friends may have about India and Indians!
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“First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win.” ~Gandhi

I am delighted to run into more and more Americans who have so many good things to say about India. The younger generation in particular is very open-minded toward global outlook. However, from time to time, we do get some out-of-the-blue questions about India. Based on my personal experiences as well as the stories from friends and families, here are some of the common misconceptions or myths about India:

1. Elephants in our backyards: We don’t keep elephants as a pet. Here is an actual question from an elementary school student to an Indian teacher in US, “Do you used to ride an elephants to your school in India?”

2. Everybody snake-charmer: Not every Indian is a snake charmer. “Are those cobras poisonous?”, as if Indians are supposed to know everything about snakes.

3. The Indian Curry: Not every dish we eat is curry based. More and more Americans are trying and enjoying Indian food, but curry is invariably linked with India. An Indian restaurant manager always has interesting anecdotes to share about his experiences with American customers, like this one:
“Can I have some curry samosa please” asked the white customer when the waiter came around to take order.
“How would you like it – spicy or mild” The waiter asked without reacting to the choice of entree.
“Medium”, he replied.
The waiter came back with 2 Samosas and the chutney/sauce to dip in.
I guess Indian sauce is also considered curry for some. :) Continue reading →

2020: Corruption free India, Happy I-day!

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Happy Independence Day, India

9:00PM, August 15, 2020; San Francisco, USA
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He plugged the PAT5000 robot into the electric socket for night time charging after it was done vacuuming and cleaning the kitchen and living room. Taking the newly installed escalator up to the bedroom floor, he went into his daughter’s room to tuck her in.
“Tell me a story papa”, she repeated her favorite request as soon as he walked in!
He was drawing a blank at first; fixing her sheets, he started:
“Once upon a time, long ago, there was a country ruled by a foreign Empire. The rulers from England were not very nice. They stole lots of Diamonds and Gold, and many other things…”
“Diamonds are very shiny, right?” She asked.
Yep, very shiny. ‘The Kohinoor’ was one of the shiniest and biggest of all” he went on…
….”After centuries of submission to the outside ruler, a small group of people started a fight for freedom.
She was not interested in this story; hoping it gets interested, she asked, “why were they fighting?”
“So they could be free. As the time went by, the fight became more and more popular and grew bigger and bigger.”
“Popular is good, right? You think I will be popular in my school?” She did not understand the story, so she started her own discussion.

Continue reading →

LIFE IN CHINA…..A new place..A new culture!

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This is a guest post from d. mirpuri– an Indian in China , sharing experiences and thoughts about living in China .

China is much like India . This is the place where you’ll see fields still being plowed by an oxen while the farmer chats away on his mobile as he works – just talk when u walk baby!

Executives dressed in fake chinese made Armani suits and louis vuitton bags dash between high-powered business meetings.Yet, they always spend their Chinese new year with LAI-LAI (grandma) at her village home where she keeps poultry, grows plum (Indian bear) trees, has freshly ground chilies (they don’t use much masalas), and cooks spicy tofu-chicken (mapu-tofu) in her kitchen wok over an open fire. The youngsters play basket ball, the oldies practice thai chii (exercise) in the wee hours of the morning or soon after dusk.They can be found in any garden. Non chinese are always welcome to join them.

In China , you can see bullet trains passing by the donkey drawn carts; skyscrapers towering over old Buddhist temples. It is here that you will see that the poor have nearly next to nothing, and the rich have all. With its booming economy, life in China can be both richly rewarding and incredibly frustrating. Continue reading →

The growing trends of love-marriages in India!

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What counts in making a happy marriage is not so much how compatible you are, but how you deal with incompatibility. ~ Leo Tolstoy

The love-marriage in India goes beyond the age-old love stories portrayed in the black-and-white Bollywood movies. Some of the earliest scriptures (Rig Veda), books (KamaSutra) and stories prove the fact that the love-marriage has never been a foreign concept for India.
However, these love flings are have been discouraged in the Indian society due to many reasons:

  • Very protective style of parenting- especially for girls,
  • Social stigma against pre-marital relations
  • Love affair are  always looked down by the elders.
  • Cast restrictions and wedding rules don’t go well with love marriages

However, the things have been changing. The society is becoming more and more tolerant with time. The love marriage is no longer a taboo in Indian society, especially among younger generation. The pre-marital relations are growing into a fashion in big cities, perhaps a statement of progressive thinking.
In fact, the semi-arranged marriages have been evolving more and more into love marriages. While the families try their best to stick with traditional wedding, including controlling the bride/groom selection, the new crop is quickly walking towards the western style of relations.
The semi arranged and love marriages have become a part of Indian culture and customs, just like arranged marriages were in old day. The society as a whole has come a long way to accept the natural evolution. Many social factors have facilitated the acceptance of love marriage very quickly, including:

  • Independent thinking and open-mindedness among today’s youth,
  • The exposure to western culture,
  • Hollywood movies’ wide-spread influence in India
  • Desi flicks from Bollywood that always have tumultuous romance stories with happy endings,
  • More and more acceptance of inter-class weddings by the older generation,
  • Modernization of India in the last decade…

Regardless if it is an arranged marriage or love-marriage, the accompanied traditions and matrimonial ceremonies have not changed. The pundits still have their jobs, the celebrations are bigger than ever and you can even hire a Bollywood star to dance at your extravagant wedding for the right amount of money.
Unfortunately, the freedom of marriage and partner selection also brings freedom of un-selecting. Divorce, the word itself considered ominous in India at one time, has become a part of the society. More and more couples are failing to make adjustments and compromises – a key requirement for any marriage.
And, in case of unhappy ending, there is no money back guarantee from the pundits, the singers or the expensive Bollywood dancers hired for the wedding.


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Stand up for child rights!

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This is a guest post from Susan Varghese -DGM of Global Operations at Child Rights and You (CRY)

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Children are always the most vulnerable victims of any crisis, be it economic, political, social or environmental, as they do not live in isolation – they belong to families, communities and society at large.
The reality of India today is that millions of children continue to have their very survival threatened on a daily basis- by malnutrition, illiteracy, child labour, preventable diseases, abuse and exploitation illustrated by statistics like:
 - One in every six girl children does not survive to see her 12th birthday due to discrimination and neglect
 - 50% of children, aged 6-14 years are not in school
 - 2 million Indian babies die before they celebrate their first birthday
 - Statistics reveal that India has 16.57 million child labourers.

And it is because of this reality that Child Rights and You (CRY) exists today – to be the voice of children, especially Indian.
CRY – Child Rights and You, India’s leading child rights advocate believes that children are citizens in their own right, the future of their countries and the world, entitled to the full spectrum of human rights. We hence work towards restoring rights to underprivileged children, especially in India. Continue reading →

Stretch your goals…land somewhere!

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“You got to be careful if you don’t know where you’re going, because you might not get there.” ~Yogi Berra

Consciously or unconsciously, we are setting new goals everyday. We always have a wishlists, targets, milestones and things to accomplish.
Some of the goals are simple and straightforward:

  • Lose weight: lose those few extra pounds from last winter
  • Quit smoking: Give up smoking in next 6 months
  • Finish MBA studies in next 2 years….

Then, there are other goals that look easy on the surface:

  • Drink less coffee
  • Sing only in the shower
  • Play with kids more often
  • Spend more time with family…..

These goals are equally, and may be more, important. Many times, some of the better goals are left vague, not fully defined. These goals are easy to miss, because they are easy to justify, in case we fail to meet them.

But, there are some goals which we don’t set often enough, or don’t consider seriously. Continue reading →

Need more ugly stories!

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Finding ways to expose corruption and power abuse in India

Indian politics is often considered synonym for corruption and misuse of power. Most of the politicians in India consider themselves to be beyond and above any law of the land.
A recent incident involving a congress MP Jagannatham slapping a bank manager in broad daylight was luckily captured on a video camera. The recorded footage has been repeatedly played all over the internet and is heavily reported by the media. The publicity of all this made the congress high command to look into the incident seriously, forcing the MP to tender an unconditional apology. The police is also investigating the case.
If there is anything positive in this ugly story, is the story itself – the power of the internet and media coverage to expose the behavior of a politician. Unfortunately, there are many more daily incidents like this all over India that go unreported. The reason for so many untold ugly stories is quite simple. There is no camera to capture them, or no brave witness to narrate them. The daily corruption and power abuse is in full swing mainly because of the lack of exposure of the wrongdoers, and the fear of retaliation against those who dare to report them.
While there are some brave souls who have made it their mission to clean up India’s future by exposing these incidents, an average person is hesitant to do much about it. For the fear of retaliation, an average family man or woman does not want to take the risk of whistleblowing under normal circumstances.
The life goes on, with corruption and power-abuse hidden in the plain sight. Nobody wants to touch it, no one wants to talk about it.
Oscar Wilde said, “Man is least himself when he talks in his own person. Give him a mask, and he will tell you the truth.”
So, the best alternate could be to use a mask, meaning report this unethical behaviors anonymously. It is a today’s need of India to find a mask for an average person, so he or she can tell the truth about corruption and power abuse without any fear. Continue reading →