Posts Tagged Non-Resident Indian

The hidden social classes abroad – the Fabs, the FOBs, the ABCD

You think you left the social class system back home, when you left India? Think again! :)

Perhaps, classes are part of our social life. May be this is how society works – one group of people trying to put down the other group while struggling to prove its own superiority.

The Indian society in the foreign lands has its own social classes, its own divisions. From outside, these divisions are not very visible, not very noticeable. This should come as a no surprise to those who have lived abroad amongst other Indians. You may see these partitions less if you are very isolated from rest of the Indian society overseas.

These classes are not based on your last name, cast or creed. Rather, the division is based on your social acceptance among the Indian diaspora. This somewhat hidden division is less visible an outsider – those who are not Indians or not a part of Indian community.

These classes or groups have their own way of looking across this social division. The locals – those who grow up abroad among the foreign culture, have their derogatory term for these new comers: FOBs. Similarly, first generation desis and these new-comers have their own name for the local Indians – ABCD. By end of the day, it boils down to how you look across the pond.

The ABCD:
This class or subgroup comes from the westernized desi society, mainly the second generation of Indians. This social group is much more in-tune with the local (the foreign adopted country) ways of living – their language, the slang and the dress-code follows the local trends. Their life-style is less desi or Indian, and much closer to the western ways of life.

This self-styled ‘cool’ group of Indians is mostly born and raised abroad. They are much more adapted to the society of the adopted country and the local ways of life. They often have a social circle of their own. Read the rest of this entry »

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After-school daycare

The daycare closes at 6PM. It was already 5:20PM, and the traffic is stop-and-go. His GPS navigation system estimated ‘the destination arrival time’ of 5:40.
“I will make it”, he said out loud, to himself.
“Come on, keep moving! My daughter is waiting for me!” As if the cars in front of him could hear him.
He had recently read somewhere that speaking English more often helps with improving the English accent. Instead of Hindi, he now tries to speak English as much as he can, even when he is alone.

“I don’t wanna go to the daycare after school”, she had told her mom again last night.
“We will pick you up soon after you get there. I promise.” Mom tried convincing her.
“I don’t like it there.”
“I am sure you will make new friends.”
“I already made two new friends – Hailey and Shira,” she said in a less complaining, and more of a bragging tone.
“See, I told you! Now get some sleep.”
“Goodnight mom. Love you.”
“Goodnight Isha, love you too.” Read the rest of this entry »

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NRIs and the duplicity of life

In India, NRIs – non resident Indians, are always looked up to; NRIs are often envied for their prosperity and the riches. NRIs hold a special status in all walks of Indian life. They are well recognized for their deep pockets. There is no debate that most of the NRIs are considered very successful among Indian society, regardless how they make their living in the foreign land.

And how are the NRIs and Indians perceived in the foreign land? What is their social status in the county they live in? Well, exactly the opposite in many cases. There are no stories of special stature to write home about. For example, in the American society, you can find lots of successful NRIs, lots of middle class Indians who are well settled, but there is nothing to envy about their social standings, at least not in the adopted country. They are just a part of another minority group. Read the rest of this entry »

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NRIs and the Distance

NRIs: Living abroad and the distance between families/friends

The long distance relations, the long distance friendship, the relatives far away and the families scattered around the globe – it is part of living abroad. ‘The distance’ is a part of the journey for most of the NRIs. The distance may be one of the variables depending on where and how far you live, but it is a constant – it is always there. When it comes to the overseas’ life, the distance is what identifies the lifestyle of majority of the NRIs.

Most of the Indians living abroad have what you may call ‘an international family’. The parents may live in one country, the kids in another place, and some of the siblings yet somewhere else. Most of us travel to the faraway places for opportunities – the financial opportunities, the chances for career growth, better jobs and so on…. We explore all around the globe looking for something better – better schools, better jobs, the better places to raise kids….

Along the way, while searching for a better life, come the compromises and the sacrifices. One of the obvious results of all these relocations is the distance.

At the heart of all this running around, at the bottom of all this hunting all over the globe is the search for a better life. The whole thing – the living abroad – revolves around the idea of finding a better life. Read the rest of this entry »

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NRIs – Scattered relations, separated friends!

“At first, I tried phoning regularly, almost every day. Then it changed from everyday to every week-end. Talking on the phone is not the same, and it becomes very expensive. Over the years, I have basically lost touch with most of my friends, even some of the closest ones,” He speaks in somewhat sad tone, with pain spilling out of his words, “I still call my friends, we email more than phone. We still understand each-other, but it is not the same. I am no longer a part of the friendship circle that I left behind.”

This is true for most of the NRIs. We often talk about going abroad; living overseas and we share our experiences in the foreign countries. We explore the pros and cons of leaving our homeland and settling overseas. Whenever there is a reunion or a get together, we discuss it all – the good stuff, the bad side and the compromises of living abroad.

However, one of the least discussed and the most unfortunate side-effect of the whole thing – going abroad and settling overseas, – is the emotional and social impact it has on our psychology. It is probably because we don’t like to talk about something very personal. Maybe it is uncomfortable and often painful to discuss something that was much cherished and now lost.

“What we leave behind is lost forever. You cannot go back after years and restart from where you left. Time does not wait for anyone, and people have moved on. Maybe that’s how it is supposed to be, but there are some aspects of going abroad that I will always miss – the circle of friends and families. Yes, I am richer now, but at what cost, I often wonder.” Read the rest of this entry »

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The way I used to be

I miss aimless walking through the streets, the summer roam;
Venturing out in the winter chill, and wandering astray.
Not knowing the destination, but always feeling at home;
I miss howling at the rickshaws, telling them, “Just take me that way.”

I miss the dusty paths, the unpaved roads with no sign to ‘stop’;
Or treading through the morning fog, where one could barely see.
Or waiting for hours at the corner, for a glimpse of her from the roof-top;
And then wondering all day, ‘what her name might be’! Read the rest of this entry »

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Quality of life abroad – going in circle

Quality of life is often listed as one of the key reason for migrating to different country, or different place. For example, some the common reasons for migrating from India to countries abroad often include

  • The economic hardships and lower income,
  • Search of better employment,
  • Better education system or higher education,
  • Better medical facilities,
  • Ability to start and operate a business with minimum political and social corruption,
  • Financial and economic opportunities in a foreign land…etc.

All these facilities and much more developed infra structure, combined with financial advantages, add to the comforts of day-to-day life abroad. As a result, based on all this, it does make a difference to the quality of life.

Over the last many years, however, there have been lots of discussions about expatriates and NRIs going back home. There is even a cool term coined for it – R2I : return to India.

Why are lots of Indians returning to India? Guess what – one of the most common reasons for R2I is ‘quality of life’ back home. Read the rest of this entry »

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Canadian Living – A multicultural society by default

We are always busy comparing stuff around us. We compare apples to oranges, Bollywood to Hollywood, old music to new music….It is human nature we compare our experiences with all sorts of things all the time.
If you live in USA or Canada, you most likely have heard this from your desi friends:
“Canadians are much friendlier!”
“Canada is a much better place to live”…
Or something similar…

I have heard the same so many times from many Indians who either travel through Canada or have lived in Canada. Many of them have lived in both Canada and USA at different times of their lives, so they speak from their experiences.

Recently, while traveling through Canada, I got the first hand opportunity to explore the local living and local cultures. There are some things that stand out in Canadian cities:

Canadian cities are much more multi-cultural and diverse:If you walk through the streets of Toronto or any other major Canadian city, you will notice one significant difference compared to major US cities – you are surrounded by a very ethnic and diverse crowd. The brown skin seems much more mingled and much more predominant. Read the rest of this entry »

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Our Experiences with Indian visa application in canada

We recently went through the process of applying for Indian visa for a family member with Canadian nationality. More specifically, the applicant in this case is a person of Indian origin, and holds a Canadian passport, who currently lives in USA. If a Canadian Citizen living in US applies for a visitor’s visa within USA (at the the Indian Consulates in USA), the longest Visa issued is for six months only. If you need a longer visa, the only option is going to the nearest Indian Consulate in Canada, and apply for the Visa on the Canadian soil.

The Indian consulate in Canada no longer issues all the visa approvals directly. Outsourcing is part of modern business plan, so it seems for the visa process as well. The main page of the Indian Consulate in Toronto points this out right away:
“As a major step towards upgrading visa services, the Consulate has outsourced the collection of visa applications and their delivery to M/s VF Services – Canada (VFS). Applications for Visa, Passport and Overseas Citizenship of India (OCI) card should now be sent to the Indian Visa Consular Services Centres operated by VFS at the following locations:…”
The locations listed are Toronto, Brampton and Winnipeg.

Also, note that:
“The Consulate will continue to accept applications for emergency visa, emergency passport (Tatkaal), Persons of Indian Origin (PIO) card , Police Clearance Certificate (PCC) and all attestation services from 9:00 am to 11:30 am (Mon-Fri). Processed documents will be delivered from 3:00 pm to 4:00 pm (Mon-Fri).”
The Emergency Visa is only for one month, and can be received on the same day from the Consulate office directly. Read the rest of this entry »

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Welcome to America

Husband’s third day in US.

“Slept well, finally”, he yawned.
“Good. I heated water in the microwave, for tea”, wife said.
“I like pan made tea, don’t you?”
“Yeah, may be later; can you help me with washing these dishes please.”

He hesitated, then walked over to the microwave slowly, “let me have tea first.” Read the rest of this entry »

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Import of Gold and Silver into India by NRIs

Facilities on overseas assets for NRIs returning to India – Gold and Silver import

Below are the general guidelines on Gold and Silver import into India by returning NRIs including maximum limits, duty and other restrictions:

Import of gold by NRIS

  • NRIs can bring into India gold up to 10,000 grams as part of their baggage once in six months provided they have stayed abroad for a continuous period of six months.
  • The gold may be brought into India in any form, including ornaments (other than ornaments studded with stones and pearls).
  • NRIs are required to pay customs duty in any convertible foreign currency. Refer to the Export Import Policy of the Government of India for the latest rate in rupees per 10 grams of gold.
  • NRI can bring gold into India once in six months.
  • NRI should have stayed abroad at least for a minimum period of six months prior to his/her return to India for being eligible to bring gold.

Import of silver by NRIS

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Facilities on overseas assets for Indians returning to India

R2I facilities on overseas assets for Indians returning to India

Here are some key highlights of the Indian facilities related to overseas assets and financial situations for Indians returning to India:

Retaining assets abroad:

  • Effective 17th July, 1992, the Indian Central Government has granted exemption from the surrender requirement to persons who return to India after a continuous stay abroad of one year and above in respect of funds/assets acquired by them abroad otherwise than in contravention of FERA 1973 or out of foreign exchange earned through employment, business or vocation outside India taken up or commenced while they were resident outside India. Persons satisfying the conditions of general exemption can retain their foreign currency accounts within bank abroad and/or hold, transfer or dispose of their other foreign currency assets such as shares, securities or investments in business, etc. and immovable properties.
  • They are not required to obtain any permission from Reserve Bank for holding these assets.
  • They would enjoy complete freedom for utilization of these assets as well as income earned or sale proceeds received subsequently.
  • Read the rest of this entry »

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Happiness outsourced

His house sits in one of the most upper-scale and affluent residential area of Chicago suburbs. As I walked inside the double-door entrance with marble sidings, I quickly realized that the inside of the mansion is even more impressive and pretty that outside view. There are two separate staircases leading to the upper storey; there are multiple bathrooms on the main floor; the open ceiling concept has a catwalk that overlooks the family room; the kitchen alone is bigger than decent size luxury apartment…

If you look at the size of house, you would think that some millionaire lives here. Maybe, he is a millionaire; it is hard to guess his wealth out of his humble disposition and very friendly nature.

After a brief chit-chat, I asked him about his occupation. I knew he was not working much currently, but I was very curious to find out where he got the big bucks to build that big mansion.

“One second, be right back”, he briefly went into the kitchen and came back with two cups of hot tea – steam still floating over the edges.

“It was a good job, a very good job. Only 15 minutes drive from the house,” he reflected on his past occultation, the cup of tea resting on his thigh as he leaned back in the easy-chair.

For 15 years, I found out, Ramesh had worked for an electronics company as a quality controller. He does not have any special technical education –engineering degree or anything else of the sort.
“I started on the assembly line, but I was promoted to the supervisor within years”, there is a happiness in his voice as he walks down the memory lane.
“Everybody appreciated what I did for the company. I used to get letters of recognition all the way from Japan – our upper management headquarters.”
“So, what happened?” I asked curiously.
“Outsourcing!” he did not feel any further need to explain. But then, after a brief pause, he spoke with a sad tone, his voice lowered, “they did not need us anymore, they found cheaper ways to do what we did, in other countries!”
“Oh, I see!” I did not know what else to say.

For the past 4 years Ramesh has struggled to find a decent job. Most of the jobs that need his skills are outsourced. After trying for years, he gave up on the job market, and tried to do what one of his best friends does – real estate agent. Read the rest of this entry »

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Welcome to the world of Holi festival – without colors

Today, India and Indian communities around the world are celebrating Holi – the festival of colors. However, there is a one big difference in the celebrations – the presence or absence of the colors depending upon where you live.

If you live in India, we all know, you can go crazy with the colors if you want to. Dry colors, wet colors, sticky colors, shiny colors, or just plain water if you run out of the colors – everything is a fair game. Friends, foes, families, strangers – everybody is a fair target, well, most of the time. No one minds, or to be politically correct, no one is supposed to mind, if their all dressy outdoor wear is smudged with colors. No one is supposed to hold a grudge if their best dress is messed up from the Holi colors. Why? Because it is Holi, the festival of colors – no other explanation is needed. A rainbow of colors is the expected scene everywhere.

However, in overseas, the scene is quite the opposite; or should we say, quite normal like any other day. You can celebrate the festival within the walls of your own home, or in your own backyard, or with some desi friends if you are lucky to find those who understand the Holi spirits. That’s about it. Your choices are limited. Even within Indian circles, no one bothers to celebrate Holi! At leats not like we used to in India. The Westernized Indian kids may want to enjoy it, from a distance, as long as the colors don’t touch them. Why would you want to look ridiculous in the middle of the day! Read the rest of this entry »

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Extra polite or not so…?

The shopkeeper is extra polite when he does not understand the customer.
The listener is extra polite when she doe not understand you and says, “Could you repeat that please!”

People are just normal polite when they can relate to you. But if you are getting lots of ‘extra polite treatment’, that may mean many things, including some of the things like:

  •  they don’t get you
  • they don’t understand you
  • they don’t relate to you
  • they find you different than their own kind
  • they don’t know how to interact with you…

Or, in rare cases, they are just extra nice people being extra polite, but you can always tell the difference.

The modern day social disassociation is not a slap in the face, a rude remark, or an outrageous action such as asking you to leave. Instead, it is the actions with extra care, with extra politeness that convey the message.

Most of the times, extra politeness is just extra caution people use when dealing with someone different, someone who does not fit in. Read the rest of this entry »

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Unmourned Death of a Mother Tongue

The dusk crawls on the suburban town of Fairfield. The evening chill of February is starting to feel on his wrinkled hands.

Arjun sits on the park bench, watching over his grand-daughter playing on the swings nearby.
“Let us go now, Pooja” he paused, “It’s time to go home”. He speaks with a broken English accent. Over the years he has adapted to the foreign tongue, the only language his grand kids understand.
“Not yet Grandpa! Can you push my swing please – one more time,” says the little girl with big black eyes, as she struggle with the slow-down of the swing.
“We have to go now, Pooja; the sun is going down.”
“It’s still light. One more push grandpa, please!”
Her delay tactics continue; she winning the every round of the bargain to go home.

After a few more swings and a long bargaining, they finally walk off the park. She skips along the sidewalk; their long silhouettes dragging behind them.

“Mom said you are making us a big kite. When can we fly it?”
“Soon. As soon as the winter is over and spring arrives.”
“Cool!”
“Look at the beautiful sunset, beta!” he points to the sun on the far western horizon as they turn the corner, their two story bungalow within the sight now.
She casually looks at the sunset. Unimpressed, she skips along. Read the rest of this entry »

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Lies from overseas – Maanji and the computer

He bows; reaches down to touch his grandma’s feet – to show respect.
She puts her right hand on his head. Her wrinkled hands shiver, the tears moisten their eyes. They embrace and hug outside the gate of the haweli. The driver drags two suitcases, from the trunk of the car, into the house.

“How was the flight?” she asks in a weak but firm voice.
She speaks in pure Punjabi – the only language she has ever spoken in her last 80 years of a well-lived life. She has not been to big cities, unless to attend some wedding, or a funeral. Her daily world is mostly limited to the few streets of her village, or up and down the family farm.

She is glowing with the excitement of seeing her grandson again, after so many years.

“The flight was good”, he replied without thinking. He looks around to take a stock of the dramatically changed neighborhood.

“You look old. The 5 years have aged you more than a decade”

“I know, maanji” That is what he always called her. In fact that is what the whole village calls her – Maanji, the mother.

She inquired about health, and the rest of extended family abroad. He, in return, talked about trivial stuff – like how the peepul tree near the pond has grown so old, how the streets are paved now….how it is so foggy even in the middle of the day…

They eventually got inside the house. The servant pulled a cot out of the veranda, into the dim sunlight breaking through the thinning fog. The winter day of February seemed warm – as if the chill has suddenly disappeared.

“so what do you do in America”. She asked again, the same question she has asked before on the phone many time.
“ I am .umm….Engineer”, he gave the same answer he had always given.
“I know, you told me that before. But, what do you do?”
“I work with the computers”
“How big are the computers in America? The one our Jeeta has is smaller than even a television.”
“They are small, small like that foot-rest”, he pointed to the small foot-stool next to the cot.

She got silent, perhaps thinking, or may be imagining him working with a small computer
She paused, and then spoke in a subdued tone, “After spending all your life in dorms and now abroad, you could not find a better job?” Read the rest of this entry »

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10 Best Movies with NRIs and India Abroad Theme

There are lots of movies – many made in Bollywood, some abroad – that explore the lives of NRIs and Indians living overseas. There are lots of films with ‘India Abroad and NRIs’ theme. However, not all the NRIs stories of overseas are well told, well played or worth the time. Some of the best movies that actually leave a lasting impression of the life abroad include:

1. Monsoon Wedding:Directed by Mira Nair, this is romance, comedy and drama – all together – depicting the lives of NRIs and the NRI weddings. An extravagant Punjabi wedding and the family traditions are beautifully directed throughout this movie. The touch of folk music is very refreshing. Naseeruddin Shah’s acting is solid once more, and plays a father who is organizing an enormous, chaotic, and very expensive wedding that involves NRI families coming together from different parts of the world.

2. East is East:This is a very comic and funny movie with a dark side of NRI story based out of England. Om Puri delivers one of the best acting of a conflicted father with double standards. Married to a white woman, the father forces his kids to live the traditional and strict desi lifestyle. The children, born and grown up in UK, see themselves as British and reject their father’s rules on dress, food, religion and arranged marriage.

3. Bend it like Beckham:Starring Parminder Nagra and Keira Knightley, the title comes from the soccer player David Beckham’s skill at scoring from free kicks by “bending” (curving) the ball past a wall of defenders. It is a beautiful depiction of a Punjabi family’s life in England. The film explores the lives of Indians abroad and how NRIs ‘bend’ the social and traditional rules to adapt to the local culture. It has a lively music, with a touch of folk genre, including ‘Rabbaa Rabbaa Meeh Barsaa’.

4. Bride and Prejudice:This is a Bollywood style adaptation of the novel ‘Pride and Prejudice’ by Jane Austen. It is filmed primarily in English, with some Hindi and Punjabi dialogue. The lead cast of Aishwarya Rai, Martin Henderson, Nadira Babbar, Anupam Kher and Naveen Andrews plays well in the desi adaptation of an old classic story of west. The wedding and party scenes, the complicated feelings of love, the dance numbers and culture depiction….are all nicely integrated. Read the rest of this entry »

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R2I Surprises await the returning NRIs

Everyone abroad talks about r2i – returning to India. Sooner or later, every Indian settled overseas considers returning home. Regardless how much you plan and how much you look forward to it, the real life experience always brings its own surprises – good and bad ones.

Most of the NRIs romanticize about the life in India. However, those returning to India have their own complaints about life back home:

Traffic: After living in American or Europe for a long time, we get used to the smooth flow of traffic and the traffic rules. Don’t expect the same after r2i. There are just way too many cars and bikes on the road, compared to what we are used to abroad. And remember, the more aggressive drivers make their own traffic rules, most of the time.
Not the same old neighborhood: I wrote a full article on this recently, the home we left behind many years ago is not the same, neither is the neighborhood.

Kids hate it: many parents return to India to raise their kids in Indian culture speaking Indian language. However, the whole experience is very hard on kids. The language, the new place, the new surroundings, the power cuts, the crowd….the whole thing overwhelms them. They like India for vacationing, but forget the permanent living part.

Faded bonds of Family and friends: Many of us return home to be with family and old friends. However, once you go back, it does not feel like the good old days. Everybody is on a different wavelength; they have their own lives to live. Read the rest of this entry »

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NRIs’ misplaced nostalgia of good old days

If you listen to the first generation of Indian Americans abroad – especially those who migrated long time ago – they paint a very bright and picture of their past memories of India:

“Those were different days – happier times. We never cared much about anything – anything but friendship and good company. The schools were parties – a meeting place where all the good and bad schemes were hatched…”

“All summer we played cards under the big shade tree next to the pond….And, when we got bored of cards, we played marbles, or took a nap on a cot. No air-conditioners could compete with the monsoon soaked eastern breeze of summer days. Those were the days….!”

The first generation of immigrants misses the homeland of India more than anything. In most of the week-end parties or social gatherings, talking about good old day is one of the common topics. The nostalgic discussion intensifies after a few drinks. The memories of childhood, the growing up, the friends back home, the food, the aimless wandering…well, there is no end to the journey down the memory lane, the memories of past left behind..

Yearning for the past is a human nature. We always cling to the memories of yesterdays. Regardless where we live, the nostalgia is nothing more than trying to hold on to the past. The past is not easy to let go, even though we all talk about moving on. Living abroad just adds one more dimension to all this – the living in the past. Read the rest of this entry »

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