Tag Archives: Living Abroad

The best countries to live abroad

Which country is best for an immigrant?
It depends. It depends on what is most important to you and how you rank associated facilities and conveniences.

There are all kinds of surveys where expats are asked their opinion about their destination country and their personal experiences. . The surveys often provide an insight into the expat life abroad.

The main factors that are important to anyone living abroad are:
Economics: The jobs and employment, earning levels, spend­ing, saving and investing etc.
Living Experience: The quality of life, ease of relocation, social circle, friends and family etc.
Raising Children and family Abroad: The childcare, health benefits  and education etc.

Based on a survey by the Expat Explorer, here are the best countries for an expat to live abroad:

Overall Ranking – Taking everything into account – the local economy, living experience and raising a family, here the top countries :

1. Hong Kong

2. Australia

3. Canada

4. Netherlands

5. United Arab Emirates

6. United States

7. Saudi Arabia

8. United Kingdom

9. Kuwait

10. Cayman Islands

11. Thailand

12. Spain Continue reading

Indian values or right values?

Learning the mother tongue…
The Sunday classes in the temple or Gurudwara…
Attending religious recitals even if you don’t understand what the priest is saying….

Growing up abroad is a challenge in itself, not that we realize it when we are kids. You not only have to worry about the the bigots and the racist idiots on the street, but your parents and elders are paranoid to the point of obsession; the obsession with raising the kids with ‘Indian values’.

Growing up in India – you are amongst your own kind; you are emerged in your own culture. As a a child in India, the social values are spoon-fed over the years; you are surrounded by your own skin color; you are the majority. No confusion, no duplicity.

Living abroad however, our culture at home is often different than the culture on the street. We are dealing with a multicultural society. Our social settings totally different and multidimensional. As a kid growing up, we adapt to the surroundings, to the society we grow up in.

Growing up in American or any other Western society, the Indian American families tend to hold on to the inherited culture and Indian social values much more closely. The parents cling to the carried-over traditions from India, holding on to the Indian roots very dearly. The Indian families make a VERY conscious effort to instill the Indian values into their kids. Continue reading

The green door

He lived on the north side of my town, on Dorothy street. I used to pass by his house during my evening strolls. His house had an over-sized green door that did not seem to fit the neighborhood, just like him.

With a white beard and a grey turban; he was easy to spot from a distance. I always found him outside his house, gardening the front-yard or just admiring the outdoor. As I would walk-by, I exchanged hello/hi with him. I was just being polite – out of respect for our elders. But over time, I made his acquaintance. He liked to talk, I found out pretty soon. Chatting with him became a part of my evening routines.
“Beautiful weather! Nice day for a walk!! Scattered clouds over there, look like a floating goat!!!” He would say random things with a chuckle. He laughed at his own jokes; that used to be a cue for me to laugh.

He was very fond – actually very proud, of India and all things Indian, I could tell. Not that I needed to know, but he often told me the virtues of Indian society, the pride of being Indian. He also reminded me how advanced Indian are, compared to the ‘white people’ as he would call them.

“I was the first Indian in this town” he mentioned one evening, “There were no Indian shops in this area!!”
“It must be hard back then”, I once asked; that was bad idea. For next 20-30 minutes, he told me all about the hardships of being an isolated Indian living amongst white folks.
“Many mornings I used to find eggs shells all over my new car in this driveway; these people, I tell you!….”

Sometimes, he complained, but he was not bitter. He told his past stories with the same braggadocio as a captain would shares his encounters with the rough stormy weather.

He was different. I enjoyed these brief daily encounters, or perhaps his stories, from all over the places. He came across as a fanatic Indian; he never tried to hide his obvious bias for ‘the great India’. Without hesitation, he would share his thoughts about superior Indian culture, the sins of the western society…. But it was never monotonous; he always had new anecdotes.
I did not agree with many of his views, but I never argued with him either. When in serious mood, he spoke like a professor, like a preacher – as if never in doubt. I thought to myself – you cannot change the thinking of an old man, those outdated views….

I recall it was Friday; I did not see him outside his house that evening. It was strange, his absence. Then, even more disturbing, I did not see him for days, for weeks. I looked for him, I even waited and lingered around his house, but he was nowhere to be found. Continue reading

Pride

No matter where we live, there are always things to complain about; plenty of people to blame. It is human nature. Different culture, different place, and different values – yes, things are different when you live abroad, different from back home.

No matter where we live, Indians are good at adjusting and adapting, and ultimately competing toe-to-toe in every corner of the world. The same applies to those settled in USA.

Success is part of Indian culture. Just look within US boundaries: two reigning governors in the highest state offices, countless Indians in NASA and other prestigious research facilities all over. The same is true for a large portion of highly skilled occupations – doctors, scientists, engineers…. the Indians are everywhere in America, in every walk of life.

There are plenty of things to complain about, there are plenty of reasons to be proud of, if we look around!

Indian American population in America is a growing and prosperous section of US society. If you get the chance to walk through the corridors of any leading US corporation – banks, medical offices, engineering firms….., you will notice that Indian American holding every level of positions including officer and executive level jobs. Indians are contributing to the US socio-economic dynamics from every aspect. The numbers and ratios of Indians employed by the leading companies – the like of Google, Microsoft, Apple, Citibank…. continue to grow.

As per the recent U.S. Census, Indian Americans, along with other Asian Americans, have one of the highest education levels of all ethnic groups in the U.S. Almost 67% of all Indians have a bachelor’s degree. Almost 40% of all Indians in the United States have a master’s, doctorate or other professional degree, which is five times the national average.

Strong work ethics combined with education, ingenuity and creativeness, Indians continue to execute a proven formula of success all over the globe.

Yes, there is plenty to be proud of. Continue reading

A baby’s cry

“Mom it is a baby girl…,” her voice barely audible; she called her mother in India.
“Are you okay? Is the baby okay?” His mom inquired, her voice nervous and excited.
Sonya was too tired to respond, but that did not stop her mother from asking more questions, “When was she born? Who she looks like? Have you named her?…”
“Mom”, Sonya interrupted, “the nurse is here, I am very sleepy; will call you later..”
“Are you okay, is the baby okay?”
“yes mom, we are okay,” she said before ending the call.

The hospital discharged her along with the baby two days later. The nurse gave her a handful of literature, each pamphlet with a different title – ‘How to care for a new born’, ‘what to expect after a natural birth’, ‘Newborn feeding techniques’….
She was tired, she was drained, she was not ready to take care of her first born. They straddled the baby in the car-seat and Raj drove them home – to their apartment in Mississauga.

“How is Esha doing,” he mom phoned again next morning.
“She is okay, she is sleeping now.”
“How are you doing?”
“I am okay mom, I am very tired. the baby was awake all night.”
“Oh, where is Raj?”
“He is at work, I am home alone with the baby and I am worried”
“Worried about what, Sonya?”
“If the baby wakes up..” Continue reading

The gold pendant

She does not know her real date of birth; nobody does. By her own accounts, “I was 12 when India became free; when England split Punjab into two parts….” The date on her passport is as random as a weather forecast from a medicine man.
In her 70s, she has outlived all of her siblings, and one of her own sons. Her eyesight is fading. The arthritis in her hands bothers her only during winter chills, “a little pain here and there is good for you; reminds you that you are still alive!” Ups and downs of life don’t affect her much.
She is happy; she learned compromises over the years; she learned how to be content, how to adapt.

Her son greeted her at the Toronto Pearson airport. They hugged, for a long time. With moist eyes, she looked around.
“Where is Anita?” She inquired in Punjabi.
“She is still at work maa!” He replied in Punjabi.
“How about Jessie, my little angel?”
“At school, should be home by the time we drive there. “
She looked around – a brand new place, a brand new country.
“Let’s go home maa!” He interrupted her thoughts.
‘Home’, she said to herself, ‘I left my home in India…how many homes one can have!’ she chuckled at her own thoughts. And then, she said out loud, “We need to get two boxes of sweets on the way!”
“Maa, there are no Indian stores on the way! Plus, we don’t eat much sugar anyways”
‘Strange country’, she looked around, again….

They arrived home. Anita and Jessie, greeted his mother at the door. They hugged, for a long time. Her eyes filled with tears of joys at the sight of her 12 years old grandkid. She hugged her, again. In a strange way, she felt at home!

After the tea and some rest, she opened her suitcase and took-out a gold pendant with a small diamond in the middle. She had it custom made for Jessie. Handing her the expensive gift, she embraced her her gently.
Jessie took the pendant, looked at it for a long time, as if mesmerized. She hesitated, paused, walked over to Anita sitting in the love-seat.
“I don’t want it, mom!” She handed over pendant to her mother. Continue reading

Naming a baby girl

“Yesterday, we were blessed with our second child”, he wrote an email to his friends and family members. “A beautiful baby girl – 7.25 lb, 16.5 inches, brown hair, brown eyes,.. not sure who she looks like.” He ended the email with an open invitation to all, “Cannot decide on the name, suggestions welcome! :)

His wife, Kiran, wanted to name her Navee; she had always liked that name.
“Umm… not sure about this one!” He quipped.
“It is a cool name, and easy to pronounce, even for Canadians!” she insisted

“What would you like to call your sister?” Kiran asked Sonia, her 6 years old daughter.
“I don’t know”, she was mesmerized by the little thing, “She is so cute! Name her princess!”
“Well, you are my princess!”
“Now you have two!” She giggled

His mother sat in the chair next to the hospital bed, holding the baby, rocking her gently every now and then. She wanted a son, but she was content with God’s will!
“Every child is born with a predetermined luck, a destiny!” She had said when the doctor first gave them the news. “We cannot change it, it is His decision!” She pointed towards the sky as she sat down. Continue reading

Misplaced Nostalgia

He was twenty-eight when he left India. Since he was a little kid, he always wanted to go abroad,  just like every other kid in his town.

The culture, the people, the society, and the way everybody was …… everything was different, very different. The life in California was not what he had imagined, but he adapted.

It was a big adjustment over the years, many compromises at every turn. In spite of all that, he did not complain much; after all this was his own decision – going abroad.

All those days, all those years  in America, he felt homesick; he missed the life he had left behind. The childhood memories, the old friends, the open fields – he often day-dreamed the life that used to be.  At times, he felt empty inside. He wished he could go back; go back to his real home, his real life.

The recession came; he lost his job – the high paying engineering job he had taken for granted. He looked for another job, half-heartedly; no luck. Perhaps he was secretly wishing not to work in US anymore.

“May be this is a sign from the God! My be I belongs back home – in India,” he thought, he rationalized. “My own people, my own culture, my own skin tone, my own mother tongue – that is my place; that is where I should be!” The recession made it easier for him to decide – it was time for him to go back. It was time to cure his nostalgia permanently. Continue reading

Just a job

He checked his Gmail account again. There were a few more responses to his online resume submissions, basically acknowledging the receipt of the job applications and a promise that ‘your resume is on file for future openings’. He has been getting these meaningless replies for the last one year, since he arrived in USA.

Back home in India, everyone had told him that it was very easy to get an engineering job in America. “You can make lots of money in a few years”, His future father-in-law told him at the time of his engagement 3 years ago. A year after that, he was married to Anu.

He had big dream; after all, nobody dreams small. Once in US, he was greeted by his wife and her family and they welcome him into their home. His old classmates, now living within driving distance, came to visit him.
He was treated like a guest for many months. However, he soon realized, you cannot be a guest for too long. He had to figure out the next step – the job. With all the expenses and cost of living, he needed a job soon. His parents and siblings back home were already calling to check on him; to see when he might send them some money like every other NRI does.

He was very optimistic about his career in USA, so was the rest of his American family – his in-laws. Just like any typical Indian family, everybody was full of advice:
“You can easily find an Engineering job in your field.. no problem for a smart guy like you…”
“There is no shortage of work for Indian Engineers…this is just the fact…”
“You will find something – something good, very soon….”

After a few months, the tone of the advice changed:
“You just need to try a bit harder, maybe try something in lower pay scale to gain some experience…”
“Find a way to get your foot in the door…”
“My cousin started as a technician; now he is the director of engineering…but they are not hiring…”
“You cannot give up…We never give up…”
“You will find something – may be not that good but something… something good….”

The time went by; ‘something good’ was still illusive after a full year of job hunt. Anu was very understanding all along. She had told him that it would not be easy, but he never thought it would be a slow torture like that.
Then the pessimism kicked in… the justification from every side, from everyone:
“Economy is bad…it is not your fault”
“There are no good jobs in this economy…”
“May be you can try something part time…”
“Have you thought about trying something different?…”
“You can work at McDonald’s for now….”
“just start with something, it is ‘just a job’ after all!….”
Yes, there was no shortage of advice and guidance……. Continue reading

INOC DC hosts Kapil Sibal

This post is a guest contribution by Lavika Bhagat

REPORT OF THE EVENT ORGANIZED BY INOC, DC CHAPTER

Indian National Overseas Congress (USA) Washington DC Chapter proudly hosted a reception in honor of Honorable Kapil Sibal ji, senior leader of the Indian National Congress Party, Minister for Human Resources and Development, Government of India on October 15, 2011 at The Mandarin Oriental Hotel, Washington DC.

Minister Sibal co-chaired the US-India Higher Education Summit with US Secretary of State Hillary Rodham Clinton on Oct 13 and 14, 2011 at Washington DC. After this high-profile conference, Minister Sibal attended this personable breakfast gathering with a group of Indian American business and education leaders invited by Lavika Bhagat Singh, President of the Indian National Overseas Congress in Washington DC.

Attendees included representatives of the US Federal and State Government, prominent Indian Americans, IT industrialists, educationists, and Indian students studying in the Washington DC area. Among the many prominent Indian Americans were Dr. Natwar M. Gandhi, the Chief Financial Officer for Washington DC, Rajan Natarajan, Deputy Secretary of State of Maryland, Sanjay Rai, Provost and Dean, Montgomery College, State of Maryland, Raj Narsimhan who serves on Virginia Governor Bob McDonnell’s Commission on Higher Education Reform, Innovation and Investment. Continue reading

Yes, Life is different here!

Living Abroad – Different strokes for different folks!

Yes, life is different here, very different!!
People speak so many different languages here. Just walk down the street and you will get an earful of gibberish dialects for sure; many of those you have never heard of!

Here, people come from all over the places! They have different skin tones, different heights. They walk differently, they talk differently. Some have local accent; others are outsiders for sure. Some speak in a monotone while others are too dramatic in every expression. Some stand still and deliver their opinion in a quiet but firm voice, while others use their hands and gestures more than their tongue.

Some dress sparingly and reveal everything, very outdoorsy to say it modestly! Others are too covered, as if protecting themselves from a wintery chill, even in the summer months.

Yes, life is different here, very different!!
The food choices are quite interesting, or strange. Some like it plain and others, spicy. Some eat only vegetables while others hunt for meat. Some can afford it all, while others live from hand to mouth. Some like it exotic and show off their feasts while others struggle to feed even two times a day.

Some splurge in excess while others conserve all the time. Some fast, because they have over-indulged in food while others fail to understand the concept of diet control.

Yes, life is different here, very different!!
There are so many different religions; some are more popular than others. Not everybody believe in a God but they all have their opinions. Fighting over religion is very common. Everybody is so guarded against others’ religion. Continue reading

My new home…

Home is the earliest memory of my childhood;
Where I learned to walk and run.
Home is where I was taught everything;
To stand by myself, to stand for others.

Home is where I took shelter;
After picking up a fight with kids bigger than me.
Home is where I always ended up;
When I was tired, hungry or thirsty.

Home is where I learned the meaning of pride;
Home is where I understood humility.
Home is where I needed no welcome mat;
Home is where I took things for granted. Continue reading

Her Canada size compromises

She had big dreams, her ideology was based on truth, honesty and kindness. But that was a long time ago, that was when she was seventeen. She thought she was special; she was born to do great things; she was born to make a difference. But then again, that was was when she was in high school. She barely new the world out there. She never knew that the rules of kindness, love and truth apply differently beyond the walls of her house.

Somewhere along the way, somewhere in the process of growing up, she left her house to encounter the real world. She was no longer shielded by her family and her loved ones. It was part of her society, it was part of the traditions to move out. She got married; her family tied her knot to an educated man from Canada. Not because they knew him, or she loved him; they married her in the hope that life would be better in Canada. That is what everyone thought, and that is what they believed – she will be better off in Canada, far better off.

But then again, people are not what they appear to be. In the real world abroad, things are very different. The real world is far different than the one based on dreams; the real world where ideology is often talked but seldom practiced. Most of the people talk big but do little, she soon learned.

In no time, she was exposed to the double standards as she left her father’s house. She saw hypocrisy first hand – day in and day out. The lies, the deceptions, the compromises – everything was at play on the big stage of life. Continue reading

Plight of a woman in the NRI Marriages

For decades, this has been a common practice; it is a part of Indian thinking. Parents in India marry their beloved son or daughter to NRIs visiting from Western counties, with the hope and wish that he or she will settle abroad, and perhaps more importantly, help them migrate as well. While India is enjoying the financial boom, the common man still looks up to the other countries as the ultimate salvation for their offspring.

Yes, arranged marriage is still very common in India, and especially when it comes to marrying abroad. With very little knowledge about a ‘funny dressed’ visitor from the west, people are willing to bond their son or daughter overnight, before someone else steals their opportunity – the opportunity of a golden ticket to go abroad.

Marriage is supposed to be a sacred bond, based on mutual love and respect. However, NRI marriages are fundamentally based on greed. It is the greed that results into lifelong headaches for many couples, if not heartaches.

Everyone knows that the arranged marriage is no walk in the park, especially the arranged marriages where a couple knows very little about each-other. What follows in a typical NRI marriage is surprises, compromises and then more compromises. There are lucky couples who can adapt quicker and understand each other mush faster. And then again, there are probably more couples who find it hard to adjust, where ego comes into play more than love. What follows thereafter is a life-long misery, constant conflicts and endless arguments on daily basis.

Indian society, even modern Indian society, looks down on divorce. Many families don’t even consider the option of separation. And once you have kids in the mix, it is even more difficult to separate, both sides sacrificing for the sake of the kids.

The situation is especially difficult for the women who marry a man abroad. The women are more eager to adapt, more willing to sacrifice. Very often, the women go beyond the call of duty to satisfy their spouses in the new land. They often have very few relatives abroad to fall back on, they lack the family support, the support of their own blood. Women are less confrontational by nature to start with, and it works against them. Continue reading

The wandering thoughts

The wandering thoughts – the home abroad

It is human nature – we are always thinking, often wandering in our own thoughts. Thinking about past or future and imagining hypothetical scenarios is a part of our day-to-day life. We are never content with what we have, always thinking about ‘what could be’ or ‘what could have been’.

Millions of us leave our homes and our countries to go abroad, searching for a better future, looking for a better life. Some leave by choice – because we want to try new things and new places; others leave because of necessity, because they have to – for one reason or another. Regardless of where we are and what we have accomplished, we are never satisfied with what we got. Once we go abroad, once we establish ourselves in the the new place, our mind wanders and thinks about going back to the motherland – where we originally come from. It is not because we need to, it is not because we have to. It is because of our nature – we are never satisfied with what we have. The present is never enough!

Most of the immigrants, regardless how long they have been away from their own country or how good life they live in the new place, have nostalgic attachment to their homeland. It is nothing new, it is part of being human. We never let go of the past, especially if past involves sweet memories of childhood.

Many of us, those who are settled abroad, often think about going back, returning for good. Even after we have made new life in the new country, the thought of going back often creeps into our minds. It is a good nostalgic memory of past. Most of us think about it – going back permanently, but very few actually actually try it. And those who return to their motherland, the experience is often not what they expected or what we imagined.

The simple fact is that time changes everything. The home we left behind years or decades ago is not the same home anymore. Everything and everybody has moved on. The old friends, the old neighbors, the small shop at the corner, the big tree next to the pond – everything and everybody has moved on. The nostalgic memories from long time ago that we want to relive today are nonexistent in reality. The surroundings have evolved, the neighborhoods have changed and the even the culture and customs have changed over the years. Continue reading