Tag Archives: indian-abroad

Plight of a woman in the NRI Marriages

For decades, this has been a common practice; it is a part of Indian thinking. Parents in India marry their beloved son or daughter to NRIs visiting from Western counties, with the hope and wish that he or she will settle abroad, and perhaps more importantly, help them migrate as well. While India is enjoying the financial boom, the common man still looks up to the other countries as the ultimate salvation for their offspring.

Yes, arranged marriage is still very common in India, and especially when it comes to marrying abroad. With very little knowledge about a ‘funny dressed’ visitor from the west, people are willing to bond their son or daughter overnight, before someone else steals their opportunity – the opportunity of a golden ticket to go abroad.

Marriage is supposed to be a sacred bond, based on mutual love and respect. However, NRI marriages are fundamentally based on greed. It is the greed that results into lifelong headaches for many couples, if not heartaches.

Everyone knows that the arranged marriage is no walk in the park, especially the arranged marriages where a couple knows very little about each-other. What follows in a typical NRI marriage is surprises, compromises and then more compromises. There are lucky couples who can adapt quicker and understand each other mush faster. And then again, there are probably more couples who find it hard to adjust, where ego comes into play more than love. What follows thereafter is a life-long misery, constant conflicts and endless arguments on daily basis.

Indian society, even modern Indian society, looks down on divorce. Many families don’t even consider the option of separation. And once you have kids in the mix, it is even more difficult to separate, both sides sacrificing for the sake of the kids.

The situation is especially difficult for the women who marry a man abroad. The women are more eager to adapt, more willing to sacrifice. Very often, the women go beyond the call of duty to satisfy their spouses in the new land. They often have very few relatives abroad to fall back on, they lack the family support, the support of their own blood. Women are less confrontational by nature to start with, and it works against them. Continue reading

Brain Drain to Brain Gain – Indians Abroad

The NRIs and Indians Abroad are a valuable asset for building India!

The ‘Brain drain’ is common among developing countries, India is no exception. Young, ambitious and educated class of society leaving homeland and heading abroad, searching for a better future, a better tomorrow.

For decades, the woes of brain drain from India to the developed countries have been blamed on many problems at home, including education system and the job opportunities. Patriotism and loyalty to the mother-land is often quoted as the lacking character among the youths settled abroad, who turn their back on the country that raised them, provided for them and educated them.

In spite of all this so called ‘brain drain’ for so long, however, there is no shortage of brain in India. the country is emerging as a fast developing nation, with GDP growth rate that western countries can only imagine (and admire from a distance). Actually there has to be some extra ‘brain power’ in India that is leading a populous country with 1.1 billion heads on a path of inventions, modernization and prosperity.

Every good thing must comes to and end, or slow down. :) With recession and high unemployment in America – and rest of the developed world – many Indians living overseas are considering going back home. Some of the key incentives to stay abroad – job security and financial opportunities – have faded over the years. Thousands of NRIs – frustrated with the grim job outlook, – have packed up their American luggage and headed home for good. Many more are expected to follow the suit.

The NRIs all over the world are very aware of the prosperity and bright prospects of India. Some daydream of returning home in the near future; others are finding a way to collaborate with homeland on new opportunities. Continue reading

Crossing the language barrier abroad!

“The language barrier is probably the most difficult and takes the longest to overcome.” ~ Stephen Lee

Most of the times, the phrase ‘Language barrier’ refers to the difficulties people face during communicating if they don’t speak the same language; or if the speech or accent is too different to communicate effectively.
Almost everyone who ventures out to the worlds far-far away, the language barrier is one of the many hurdles encountered in the new land. For people migrating from India, even though they speak and understand English in most of the cases, the communication problems still exist. The fact is that spoken English in America or other Western countries is not the same as in India. The style, the slang, the acceptable norms…everlasting is different. One is bound to feel out of place in the beginning of the overseas journey.

The key issues surrounding the language barrier and the best ways to approach or alleviate them are:

The language knowledge: Knowledge of the English language is the most important step toward adjusting and adapting to the English speaking culture and society. The understanding of grammar and a sound knowledge of vocabulary are necessary to build a reliable foundation for any language. For people from India, this is not a major issue because most of us learn English in the school and have a good command of the language itself.

The ‘thick’ accent: The accent is natural; this is how we talk and speak in our native country growing up. The Indian accent of English –commonly called ‘thick’ accent- is very different from the way they speak English overseas. While there are ways to soften the accent or dramatically reduce it by practice and with conscious effort, it takes time to lose the accent. For details on this topic, refer to the previous post titled ‘A self-help guide to lose your accent!’. Continue reading

Bollywood Abroad: Aishwarya Rai on the Oprah Show

Aishwarya Rai and Abhishek Bachchan to appear on Oprah Show!

Aishwairya Rai in 'Devdas'

Aishwairya Rai in ‘Devdas’

The most influential woman in the world, Oprah Winfrey, is back with 2009 season of her world famous and the highest rated talk show. The downtown Chicago area – the Magnificent Mile- was closed to traffic last week as she kicked off the 24th season of Oprah Winfrey Show.

When it comes to the influence of this billionaire, Oprah is a force beyond comprehension. She has single-handedly popularized and revolutionized the tabloid talk show genre. Oprah has a very loyal world wide fan base, especially among women. A book lands on the ‘best seller list’ just by her mentioning of it on the show; the cattle ranchers in Texas get nervous if she promotes vegetarian food or says something against beef…..When Oprah talks, people listen!

And look, who is coming back to the Oprah show again- Aishwarya Rai! The popular Indian actress and former Miss World is no stranger to the show; and this time she brings her husband, Abhishek Bachchan, with her.

Aishwarya Rai is supposedly in Chicago with her beau preparing and shooting for the show. It is ‘rumored’ that the couple has been in USA for more than a week. Obviously, they did not get stopped by the immigration, otherwise we would have heard of it. :) Continue reading

NRIs’ random ‘things-to-do’ for the day!

NRIs’ random thoughts of the day :

Check the weather forecast
Have a cup of tea
Watch a ‘Bollywood’ movie
Update Facebook status
Check cricket score
Buy mangoes
Order carry-out food
Check out the special sales fliers
Garden the flowers and vegetables
Google search ‘NRI Marriages’
Shop for cheaper phone service to India
Buy Samosa and chaat to make ‘Curry Samosa’ :)
Check stock market
Download desi music
Update resume
Go to Indian store
Google search ‘how to lose your accent’
Plan a week-end party Continue reading

SRK, “My Name is Khan”…umm… too bad!

Shahrukh Khan goes through additional questioning at USA Customs and Immigration

SRK and Kajol to star together in 'My Name is Khan'

SRK and Kajol to star together in ‘My Name is Khan’

Shahrukh Khan (SRK), the iconic Indian Movie Star and the king of Bollywood, was subject of additional inspection and questioning by the immigration officers at the Newark airport, New Jersey. He was en route to Chicago to attend an event related to Indian Independence day celebrations.

SRK claims that he was singled out due to his Muslim last name – Khan. He added that the immigration officer was not convinced with any of his explanation about the trip.

The US Immigration and Customs office denies that his last name had anything to do with the additional questioning; he was stopped due to missing baggage. As per the statement from the Customs, everything was done professionally and by the book. It is common for a customs officer to ask someone to step aside for additional inspection if they are not satisfied with the interview.

It is ironic that SRK was in USA earlier this year shooting a Hindi movie titled ‘ My name is Khan’. The film is about the experiences of a Muslim in America.

Another remote possibility is that it was all planned by SRK; a thought that I could not resist.Considering how good an actor he is, he may have staged the whole drama. This incident turned out to be a very good publicity for him and his upcoming movie. Everybody is now talking about ‘My Name is Khan’ all of a sudden, which will be released worldwide soon. Continue reading

Top ten reasons to go abroad!

NRI Tips: 10 reasons to leave India and go overseas – From desi to desi-NRI!

No matter where it leads to, our journey always starts at home. There has to be a good reason to leave the comforts of home – the family, the culture, the country. sxc-big_step_to_success_2501Here are the ten most common reasons to leave home and go overseas:

1. Travel: Traveling to visit different places is one of the best reasons to go abroad. It is a fun and exciting experience to go places, emerging in other cultures is rewarding and adventure. It is the best of the both worlds. If one can afford it, traveling abroad is always full of adventures and new experiences. There are all kinds of online sites that can guide you to match the places with your interests. Traveling is something we don’t do enough.

2. Education: Good schooling is a big investment for our future. One should never under-estimate the value of good education, it builds the base of our lifestyle; it pays life-long dividends for every penny we ever spent on studies. Going abroad to study is not new. Studying abroad is truly an eye opening experience.

3. Family: Many times, family sponsorship is a reason to go abroad – to unite with rest of the family. The immigration rules allow spouse (and in many cases parents along with their younger siblings) to be brought over in many countries. Lots of people go abroad to re-unite with their family. Continue reading

O Karma! Where Art Thou?

As she has planted, so does she harvest; such is the field of karma.~Sri Guru Granth Sahib, The Holi Book of Sikh Religion

Me and my karma often talk to each other. Well actually, I do most of the talking.  And, I hope and wish that my karma listens to my one way communications, at least once in a while!

‘The karma has a mysterious way of responding’, so I was are taught. I have never been able to figure out how it works. Our karma is the result of our actions – good or bad; but when, where and how will you see those results is a not a planned outcome, as far as I can tell from my own experience!

To solve these mysteries of my karma, I have tried some out-of-the-box ideas for a long time. I even once befriended a Punjabi dude with the same name – Karma. However, I found out that my karma had nothing to do with my new friend,  so we have drifted apart since. Now and then, I still get calls from him, some times in the middle of the night, due to time difference between Jalandhar and Chicago. He mostly calls me to ask for more money; “it will ‘clean’ my karma and make it better”, he says. I tried it a few times a while back, but I did not win any lottery; nor did it help me with any other stuff that would prove this ‘karma cleaning’!

Since I came to USA,  I have realized that my overseas karma is no sharper or better than what it was back in India. Everybody used to tell me, “Going to America is a sign of good kismat and good karma”. So, I thought my good karma would follow the glory of my new NRI status. However, I am not-so-happy to report that the whole thing, – this going to America – may be a bit over-hyped. My karma has been quite sluggish, especially during the first few years of my farang experiences. Just like most of the new-comers, I have had my share of overseas hurdles and challenges.. Continue reading

NRIs and India diaspora – the key challenges abroad!

NRI Tips: The overseas issues and hurdles for a desi or NRI !

Leaving India and going abroad -USA, Canada, England….-is a very big step, a life changing experience in the true sense of the words. To search for a better future, we often leave behind everything- the friends, the family members, the social circle and the personal identity in most cases.sxc_404_error
It is a very common perception, – and true to an extent – that going abroad will improve our life and the lives of those who depend on us. It is always made to sound all too easy to settle and prosper in Western countries as an NRI.

Continue reading