Tag Archives: india abroad

The green door

He lived on the north side of my town, on Dorothy street. I used to pass by his house during my evening strolls. His house had an over-sized green door that did not seem to fit the neighborhood, just like him.

With a white beard and a grey turban; he was easy to spot from a distance. I always found him outside his house, gardening the front-yard or just admiring the outdoor. As I would walk-by, I exchanged hello/hi with him. I was just being polite – out of respect for our elders. But over time, I made his acquaintance. He liked to talk, I found out pretty soon. Chatting with him became a part of my evening routines.
“Beautiful weather! Nice day for a walk!! Scattered clouds over there, look like a floating goat!!!” He would say random things with a chuckle. He laughed at his own jokes; that used to be a cue for me to laugh.

He was very fond – actually very proud, of India and all things Indian, I could tell. Not that I needed to know, but he often told me the virtues of Indian society, the pride of being Indian. He also reminded me how advanced Indian are, compared to the ‘white people’ as he would call them.

“I was the first Indian in this town” he mentioned one evening, “There were no Indian shops in this area!!”
“It must be hard back then”, I once asked; that was bad idea. For next 20-30 minutes, he told me all about the hardships of being an isolated Indian living amongst white folks.
“Many mornings I used to find eggs shells all over my new car in this driveway; these people, I tell you!….”

Sometimes, he complained, but he was not bitter. He told his past stories with the same braggadocio as a captain would shares his encounters with the rough stormy weather.

He was different. I enjoyed these brief daily encounters, or perhaps his stories, from all over the places. He came across as a fanatic Indian; he never tried to hide his obvious bias for ‘the great India’. Without hesitation, he would share his thoughts about superior Indian culture, the sins of the western society…. But it was never monotonous; he always had new anecdotes.
I did not agree with many of his views, but I never argued with him either. When in serious mood, he spoke like a professor, like a preacher – as if never in doubt. I thought to myself – you cannot change the thinking of an old man, those outdated views….

I recall it was Friday; I did not see him outside his house that evening. It was strange, his absence. Then, even more disturbing, I did not see him for days, for weeks. I looked for him, I even waited and lingered around his house, but he was nowhere to be found. Continue reading

A baby’s cry

“Mom it is a baby girl…,” her voice barely audible; she called her mother in India.
“Are you okay? Is the baby okay?” His mom inquired, her voice nervous and excited.
Sonya was too tired to respond, but that did not stop her mother from asking more questions, “When was she born? Who she looks like? Have you named her?…”
“Mom”, Sonya interrupted, “the nurse is here, I am very sleepy; will call you later..”
“Are you okay, is the baby okay?”
“yes mom, we are okay,” she said before ending the call.

The hospital discharged her along with the baby two days later. The nurse gave her a handful of literature, each pamphlet with a different title – ‘How to care for a new born’, ‘what to expect after a natural birth’, ‘Newborn feeding techniques’….
She was tired, she was drained, she was not ready to take care of her first born. They straddled the baby in the car-seat and Raj drove them home – to their apartment in Mississauga.

“How is Esha doing,” he mom phoned again next morning.
“She is okay, she is sleeping now.”
“How are you doing?”
“I am okay mom, I am very tired. the baby was awake all night.”
“Oh, where is Raj?”
“He is at work, I am home alone with the baby and I am worried”
“Worried about what, Sonya?”
“If the baby wakes up..” Continue reading

Misplaced Nostalgia

He was twenty-eight when he left India. Since he was a little kid, he always wanted to go abroad,  just like every other kid in his town.

The culture, the people, the society, and the way everybody was …… everything was different, very different. The life in California was not what he had imagined, but he adapted.

It was a big adjustment over the years, many compromises at every turn. In spite of all that, he did not complain much; after all this was his own decision – going abroad.

All those days, all those years  in America, he felt homesick; he missed the life he had left behind. The childhood memories, the old friends, the open fields – he often day-dreamed the life that used to be.  At times, he felt empty inside. He wished he could go back; go back to his real home, his real life.

The recession came; he lost his job – the high paying engineering job he had taken for granted. He looked for another job, half-heartedly; no luck. Perhaps he was secretly wishing not to work in US anymore.

“May be this is a sign from the God! My be I belongs back home – in India,” he thought, he rationalized. “My own people, my own culture, my own skin tone, my own mother tongue – that is my place; that is where I should be!” The recession made it easier for him to decide – it was time for him to go back. It was time to cure his nostalgia permanently. Continue reading

INOC DC hosts Kapil Sibal

This post is a guest contribution by Lavika Bhagat

REPORT OF THE EVENT ORGANIZED BY INOC, DC CHAPTER

Indian National Overseas Congress (USA) Washington DC Chapter proudly hosted a reception in honor of Honorable Kapil Sibal ji, senior leader of the Indian National Congress Party, Minister for Human Resources and Development, Government of India on October 15, 2011 at The Mandarin Oriental Hotel, Washington DC.

Minister Sibal co-chaired the US-India Higher Education Summit with US Secretary of State Hillary Rodham Clinton on Oct 13 and 14, 2011 at Washington DC. After this high-profile conference, Minister Sibal attended this personable breakfast gathering with a group of Indian American business and education leaders invited by Lavika Bhagat Singh, President of the Indian National Overseas Congress in Washington DC.

Attendees included representatives of the US Federal and State Government, prominent Indian Americans, IT industrialists, educationists, and Indian students studying in the Washington DC area. Among the many prominent Indian Americans were Dr. Natwar M. Gandhi, the Chief Financial Officer for Washington DC, Rajan Natarajan, Deputy Secretary of State of Maryland, Sanjay Rai, Provost and Dean, Montgomery College, State of Maryland, Raj Narsimhan who serves on Virginia Governor Bob McDonnell’s Commission on Higher Education Reform, Innovation and Investment. Continue reading

Indian diaspora info – all you need to know!

Sometimes, the answer is right under your nose. Sometimes, actually most of the times, it is better to eliminate the middleman and go straight to source. This post is intended to lead the horse to the water; drink or not, is up to the horse!

Non Resident Indians, the NRIs – home or abroad – always have so many questions about the rules and regulations that apply to them. Quite often, they start by calling some lawyers – the lawyers that are always bombarding the NRIs with their monotone commercial during Indian TV shows – the middlemen!!

If you visit the Nation Portal of India website and go to the Indian Diaspora section, you can most likely find the answer to most of your questions – right there, under your nose!

The questions like:

# Can NRIs and PIOs open an account with Indian banks?
# Is registration of NRI marriages compulsory in India?
# What is the fee for applying for PIO card and OCI card?
# Is there a limit to the number of investments for acquiring commercial properties in India?
# How can an NRI or PIO adopt a child in India?
# What is meant by OCB?
# What are the investment options for NRIs in India?

To introduce you to the website directly, rather than cutting and pasting the answers here – you know, horse and water – use the direct links below for accessing the related info! Pick your own dish – all you can eat, for free!! Continue reading

Why Indian/desi guys find white women more attractive!

Human relations are complicated by nature; there is always something deeper, something more than meet the eye. Inter-racial relation are even more complex, even though they have been around for ages.

A previous article discussed Why white women find desi or Indian guys less attractive?. Now, ask the guys from India about White woman. No matter what these white women think about the Indian guys, the desi dudes hold no grudge against them. In fact, it is quite the opposite.

So, why is it that Indian guys find white women more attractive? There is no simple answer; at least nobody admits that it is so black and white – or should be say ‘brown and white’!

1. Fair skin attraction – First thing first, it is a culture thing that Indians prefer fair skin, especially on a woman. Many attribute this to Bollywood where almost all the leading actresses have milky complexion, but fair skin preference goes way back, even before black-and-white flicks took over India cinema. Many of the matrimonial advertisements often include ‘fair skin’ mention or requirement. The white women win hands down, if you just go by the skin color. So, this is good first impression, to start with! The fair skin criteria goes beyond the Bollywood actresses, and is common among all India cultures – home or abroad.

2. Stronger sense of independence – Compared to an Indian woman raised in an Indian society, a white woman from West is much more independent and self-reliant. In western culture (Western, as in Europe and America, not as in cowboys), the women have much more say in their personal decision-making compared to India society where families dominate and control women’s upbringings.

3. Less family control - This is more of a continuation of previous point. The indian women are often controlled by the family in many important aspects of their life, including selecting a life-partner. So, the family interference is much more in the case of Indian women, and this is a turn-off for many guys – even by desi standard! Continue reading

Her Canada size compromises

She had big dreams, her ideology was based on truth, honesty and kindness. But that was a long time ago, that was when she was seventeen. She thought she was special; she was born to do great things; she was born to make a difference. But then again, that was was when she was in high school. She barely new the world out there. She never knew that the rules of kindness, love and truth apply differently beyond the walls of her house.

Somewhere along the way, somewhere in the process of growing up, she left her house to encounter the real world. She was no longer shielded by her family and her loved ones. It was part of her society, it was part of the traditions to move out. She got married; her family tied her knot to an educated man from Canada. Not because they knew him, or she loved him; they married her in the hope that life would be better in Canada. That is what everyone thought, and that is what they believed – she will be better off in Canada, far better off.

But then again, people are not what they appear to be. In the real world abroad, things are very different. The real world is far different than the one based on dreams; the real world where ideology is often talked but seldom practiced. Most of the people talk big but do little, she soon learned.

In no time, she was exposed to the double standards as she left her father’s house. She saw hypocrisy first hand – day in and day out. The lies, the deceptions, the compromises – everything was at play on the big stage of life. Continue reading

Plight of a woman in the NRI Marriages

For decades, this has been a common practice; it is a part of Indian thinking. Parents in India marry their beloved son or daughter to NRIs visiting from Western counties, with the hope and wish that he or she will settle abroad, and perhaps more importantly, help them migrate as well. While India is enjoying the financial boom, the common man still looks up to the other countries as the ultimate salvation for their offspring.

Yes, arranged marriage is still very common in India, and especially when it comes to marrying abroad. With very little knowledge about a ‘funny dressed’ visitor from the west, people are willing to bond their son or daughter overnight, before someone else steals their opportunity – the opportunity of a golden ticket to go abroad.

Marriage is supposed to be a sacred bond, based on mutual love and respect. However, NRI marriages are fundamentally based on greed. It is the greed that results into lifelong headaches for many couples, if not heartaches.

Everyone knows that the arranged marriage is no walk in the park, especially the arranged marriages where a couple knows very little about each-other. What follows in a typical NRI marriage is surprises, compromises and then more compromises. There are lucky couples who can adapt quicker and understand each other mush faster. And then again, there are probably more couples who find it hard to adjust, where ego comes into play more than love. What follows thereafter is a life-long misery, constant conflicts and endless arguments on daily basis.

Indian society, even modern Indian society, looks down on divorce. Many families don’t even consider the option of separation. And once you have kids in the mix, it is even more difficult to separate, both sides sacrificing for the sake of the kids.

The situation is especially difficult for the women who marry a man abroad. The women are more eager to adapt, more willing to sacrifice. Very often, the women go beyond the call of duty to satisfy their spouses in the new land. They often have very few relatives abroad to fall back on, they lack the family support, the support of their own blood. Women are less confrontational by nature to start with, and it works against them. Continue reading

Pardesi songs! Best Bollywood songs for the NRIs and Indians abroad!

The pardesi songs – Best Bollywood songs with NRIs and Indians abroad theme!

This article is dedicated to all the pardesi souls (foreigners) and NRIs around the world.

The ‘pardesi songs’ in this list focus on the situations and the emotions of Indians living abroad. Being away from motherland, being separated from the loved ones left behind, starting a new life in a new country and the distance itself….a mixture of emotions come into the picture. There are lots of patriotic songs and good ones too. However, the ones included here are more related to the unique situations of living overseas, rather than regular patriotic songs. Here are some of the best Bollywood songs that many NRIs and Indians living abroad can relate to:

1. Chithi Aayee hai (Movie: Naam): One of the best songs that directly connects to all the feelings of Indians who have migrated from India, but still miss their motherland. Beautiful lyrics tell a touching story of an average immigrant.
Tune paisa bahut kamaya
Es paise ne des chhudaya….

Pankaj Udhas’s melodious voice adds to the appeal of this evergreen and super-hit song.

2. Bharat ka rehne walaa hoon (Movie: Purab Aur Pachhim): ‘Hai Preet Jahan Ki Reet Sada / Jab Zero Diya Mere Bharat Ne’ is one of the most memorable song that highlights the virtues of India and the Indian culture, especially for those who live overseas. This number has ideal settings – featured in England with crowd including Indians, hippies and English audience. Mahendra Kapoor’s voice and Manoj Kumar’ acting is a winning combination.

3. Ye dooriyan (Movie: Love Aaj Kal) : The song filmed on Deepika Dadukone and Saif Ali Khan is all about the ‘distance’ from loved ones. Anyone living abroad can relate to this song, a number with great composition and brilliant lyrics.
Aa raha paas, ya door mein ja raha
Janu na mein hoon kahan pe…

It has a natural flow, and is a hybrid of modern folk and classical gazal – a lovely song by any standard.

4. Yeh Jo des hai tera (Movie: Swades): This is one of the most melodious songs from A. R. Rahman. The lyrics and the scenes bring out the emotions of being Indian and being away from home. With SRK in the lead and beautiful filming, the song highlights all the nostalgic feelings often experienced by Indian diaspora.

5. No life without wife (Movie: Bride & Prejudice): Yes, this is not one of those emotional or sad songs, for a change. However, this cleverly performed dance number sums up the feelings and the irony of the situation that NRIs and their spouses go through. The refreshing song has the ever-pretty Aishwarya Rai in the lead. It is a befitting satire on the NRI marriages.
Lonely Mr Kholi from Los Angeles
Came to Punjab on one bent knee
He had a Green Card, new house, big cash
Still made a wish with every fallen lash
…….
Poor Mr Kholi
He has no life without wife…
Continue reading

Self-help tips on minimizing Hinglish usage abroad

10 easy Tips on how to minimize the usage of Hinglish (Indian English) overseas

Many of us, especially those who grew up in India, speak ‘Indian English’. This version of desi English – the Hinglishis, is heavily influenced by Hindi, other languages from India and desi terms. It is a common habit; and like many other habits, some times we don’t even realize that our English speech is often affected by our mother tongue.

Just like any other habit, the use of Hinglish is not so easy to get rid of. Habits die hard. In many cases, it may take a lot longer to get used to avoiding Hinglish completely. A conscious effort is always required to navigate away from any set routines, especially the ones related to our communication or speaking habits.

While living overseas and away from India, we may not realize this but we are always adapting to the local ways of life. This process continues even when we are not trying. This is a human nature; we are always adapting to our surroundings. Our language, our communication style and even our thinking – every aspect of our day-to-day life is slowly but surely impacted by the local culture and the society we live in. However, this adaptation and change is often very slow. The same applies to our habit of speaking Hinglish, the change is very slow unless we try consciously.

Listed below are some of the most effective tips on how to minimize the use of Hinglish while living in an overseas society. There are many simple things that we can do to speed up this adaptation to local English slang and language instead of continued habit of speaking Hinglish.

1. Be aware of your Hinglish usage: The first step always is to accept and acknowledge the habit. The second generation of Indians who grew up abroad (among English speaking culture) generally don’t have this habit – the habit of mixing Indian idioms and grammar with English usage. If you were born and raised in India, chances are your speech is influenced by your mother tongue.

2. Think of a few fun things to reduce Hinglish usage: Now that you admit to the Hinglish usage :) , next step is working on how to minimize this habit. The tips below are quite effective, but you can always come up with your own plan. For example, you can ask your American/English friends to assist and coach you in this arena. You know yourself better than anybody else on this planet, so think of your own ideas and fun things that would work best for you.

3. Immerse yourself in the local language overseas: Expose yourself to the local way of speech while living abroad. Make a conscious effort to speak local English by surrounding yourself with those who use local English style and slang, not Hinglish. Continue reading

Moving Overseas! Is Your Family Ready?

The world has become a very mobile place now-a-days. Nobody spends the whole life at one place, or even in one country. Traveling has become a necessary part of everyday living. Going abroad, trying new places, visiting new countries, exploring new cultures….all this has become a common undertaking.

When you move to a new country for a long studies or for a job, you have to leave behind so much. The family, the friends, the home, your own country…this all becomes a part of the endless memories of living in India. Those childhood days, college fun, home food, Indian culture and tradition …. all this can never be replaced or forgotten.

Moving overseas brings its own excitement. You are eager to see new places, make new friends and explore your things. However, it is a fact that you cannot ignore your loved ones far-away who are going to miss you and feel your absence day and night. Just like you, your family and friend are left behind with your memories alone to remember you by.

Every family is different and so are the reactions to the departure of a family member. Nobody is ever ready to separate from the loved ones. However, there are a few simple things that you can do to help your family accept the fact that your overseas move is not so bad after all. These commonsense and easy-to-follow tips can make this separation more tolerable, for your family as well as for you:

1. Discuss you decision to go abroad: Once you have decided to move abroad, share the news with your family well in advance, and then with the rest of the world. Some family members and relatives might discourage you from leaving the country. Especially in the beginning, they may be against your idea of going away. It takes time to accept such a big news. It may also help if you have a calm and collected approach to the whole thing. Explain to them your reasoning or purpose for doing so; share the positive factors behind your decision to go abroad.

2. Family Time: The days and months before you leave are always very hectic. You are bound to get occupied in your packing, passport/visa formalities, shopping, insurance, health checkup, etc. You may not realize how the time could fly by. Spend some quality time with your loved ones; set aside some family time before you head overseas. This will surely result in some good memories for rest of your life. Continue reading

Citizenship and Immigration Canada – CIC Website

CIC – Canadian Government Source of Citizenship and Immigration

Have a question about immigration to Canada? Interested in Canadian Citizenship? Any question on migrating to Canada? Almost all the time, you can get your answer from the official website of Citizenship and Immigration Canada. Commonly know as CIC, the site is maintained by the department of Canadian Government that deals with Immigration and Citizenship. It also links immigration services with citizenship registration.

The site is the true Bible for any information on Canadian Citizenship as well as immigration to Canada.  It offers a variety of resources on the related topics including general information, commonsense tips, guidance for potential immigrants, latest news on the subject, the new laws affecting the immigrants and so on. There are different sections addressing different aspects of immigration and citizenship.

Getting to know Canada: For an outsider, this section offers lots of general information about the country. All kinds of basic topics are covered:

  • The weather
  • The Land and geography
  • The People
  • Education system
  • Medical system….etc.

Prepare to Move to Canada:
Once you know about the country, and may want to immigrate there, the next logical step would be the preparation to migrate. The information in this section pertains to the planning for the move:

  • The cost of living
  • Where to live in Canada
  • Learning the language
  • What documents you need for immigration
  • What you can bring with you…etc.
  • Continue reading

India through the eyes of my American Classmates

“So how do you like it here, in US?” This is a common icebreaker they use with new classmates from other countries.
“I love it; it’s fun!” is my general response. After all, I don’t need to complain about my homesickness to everybody.
“I would love to go to India, but am little bit worried about the safety and stuff over there; ….”  Some hesitation about a new country is far away is quite normal among Americans.
“Stuff like what?” I like to explore what they think about India.
“Well, it is a new place; plus I don’t speak Indian.” Some say this as a joke, while other are clueless to the Indian languages.
And sometimes, the things get slippery after such small talk! And sometimes, that’s where the snakes, the elephants and other wild animals jump into the picture. Some questions, asked even with the utmost seriousness, beg for a chuckle, if not a full blown laugh! :)

I like my American classmates and friends just as much as my desi colleagues, well almost. At least, that’s what I would like to believe and that’s what I try anyways. Many of these firangs are my close friends. We eat together, we study together and we goof-off together. It’s a fun bunch of people I am surrounded by.

I am one of the three Indians in our class. There are students from everywhere – Canada, European countries, Australia, Kenya, Mexico and Korea…to name a few. They all come from a very diverse background, not to forget in all colors – white, brown, black, yellow, pink, dark pink…well, sometimes it is hard to tell the real color with all the makeup on. :) Continue reading

Many Indians abroad dating exclusively whites only!

19:19 Me
Are u okay if I use this ‘chat’ for a blog post…a post on ‘Some Indians abroad dating whites only’ ?

19:19 Neelam
No, not really! Plz!

19:20 Me
my loss :(

19:20 Neelam
haha….sorry

19:21 Me
:(

19:21 Neelam
may be..you can change the name and place…a little

19:21 Me
I should do that.
Why though?

19:22 Neelam
haha I don’t need publicity..or hate mails…lol

19:22 Me
okay cool, thanks

19:23 Neelam
haha np

…………

“There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so.” said Shakespeare.

A friendly warning: take this post with a grain of salt, if you get indigestion from racial mix and deviations from the social norms. :)

Well, looks like you decided to read on! The ‘chat’ above is the ending portion of the conversation below.

Now, what the heck am I talking about? :)

Luckily or unluckily, I ran into someone online, someone who is a part of this ummm … trend! This ‘chat’ on the social network site is a quick glimpse into the psyche of the new desi generation abroad.

The ‘chat’ spans over multiple sessions, you may notice from the time-stamps. The mundane conversation started something like this:

15:19 Neelam
hi

15:20 Me
Hello Neelam, how r u?

15:20 Neelam
haha gud, n u? Continue reading

The night before Babbu’s wedding

Loud music, louder conversations, noisy kids running all over – it is a complete chaos. It seems like everybody is lost in the moment. Older ladies are sitting together next to the kitchen, sorting out the sweets and chit-chatting; the older men are sitting nearby – having their own small-talk and sipping on tea.

The younger generation is all mingled up. Some are bare feet, and  some are testing their newly bought shoes on the dance floor in the basement, with Kesha’s ‘Tick Tock’ song blaring loud. Every now and then, a car pulls up to the front of the house with neatly trimmed landscape, dropping off new guests.

Tomorrow is a big day for the Gill family. Their only son Babbu is getting married. By the time the sun touched the western horizon, the house is all packed full. The guests from as far as India, London and Vancouver have flown in, all excited for the special day.

Their house in Brampton is a short drive from the Toronto airport. Raj – Babbu’s cousin, has been to the airport three times already, picking up the relatives as they arrive. He is most excited about the fourth trip, however. He is going to receive his three cousins from England, whom he has not seen for a long time.

Around 8PM, a black stretched limousine pulls to the front of the house. It is part of the last minute planned party for the groom and his passé. One last night, he is going to enjoy his single life before being shackled down into the married life. The limo driver steps outside the driver seat; polishes the already clean windshield with black cloth, like a ritual. Then he lights up a cigarette, while some of the elders watch him with a look of disapproval.

The groom and his passé of five friends and cousins finally start to get inside the limo. In the mean time, Raj also comes back from the airport, speeding all the way to the driveway; his three cousins jump out of of his car in no time. Everybody, including those inside the limo, rush over to greet them. There are hugs, there are hi-fives; there is loud laughter. After a quick exchange of greetings, Babbu and his passé run back to the limo; Raj and the three well-dress cousins with British accent follow them.

Finally, a little bit after 9PM, the limo drives off for a night-out on the town. All of them, ten of them all together, are bubbling with excitement.

“Can you take us to the liquor store, please”, someone shouts at the limo driver.
“Okay boss”, the limo driver shouts back.
“Where are we going”, asks Bobby, one of the cousins from England.
“Downtown”, many of them respond back, one after another.
“Downtown where?”….

Everybody tries to speak louder than the rest, as if fighting to have their say. The limo get to the liquor store. Raju and Babbu jump out, followed by everybody else. No one wants to be left behind, it seems.
“Get some Black Label.”
“We need beer”
“Something for shots.”
“Sambuca” … Continue reading