Tag Archives: Desi

You Know You’re Indian If (funny):

Some fun-facts, interesting observations and comic beliefs about Indians living abroad!
U r desi if:

Your parents drink 6 cups of tea a day.
When you are unwell/sick, everyone turns into doctor advising what to do.
You have a 40 lb. bag of rice in your pantry.
Your parents lecture you in English “No English; you should speak in your mother tongue at home!”
“You want an iPhone? When I was your age, I didn’t even have shoes!!”
You have to call just about all your parent’s friends ‘Auntie’/'Uncle.’
You arrive an hours (or two) late to a party and think it’s normal.
Your dad is either some type of engineer or a doctor or a taxi-driver… or owns a convenience store.
Your parents blame everything bad on bad Karma from previous lives.
Everything you eat is savored in garlic, onion and tomatoes
You talk for an hour at the front door when leaving someone’s house.

The fading hue

The bright yellow saree with flowery pattern clings to her tall slender body, almost exposing her to the imaginative eyes. She wears it, the saree, with grace – her walk measured, her stance determined. Her lips are wide; her smile big – like a Bollywood movie actress, only less assuming. She speaks with politeness, yet determination of a teacher. Her animated hand gestures and a fair complexion can mislead you to think that she could be Italian. Her attire, the controlled manners, and the lowered eyes give away the secret however, that she is Indian. As she walks from guests to guests, she leaves behind a trace of French perfume; she leave behind many turned heads.. Saying just that she is pretty does not do a complete justice.
On her right shoulder she has a flower tattoo – not a real tattoo, no! Her mother would not allow that. It is a kind of tattoo that some kids and teenagers make out of sticky and shiny glitters. She is no teenager, not by any measures except some traces of childish youth left in her heart. She has her own kids aged 3 and 6, a boy and a girl, left for the evening at her mother’s house.
It is a January, a winter weekend. They are gathered for a social evening at her friend house, a mansion actually. The big house stands on the outskirts of Surrey, British Columbia. The sunlight from the west filters through the huge windows accenting the silky curtains that seem to never end, not even when they touch the marble tiles of matching color. Continue reading →

911 – The Emergency Call

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The firm knock on the door made her jump. Even though she was expecting this knock, the police arrived much faster than she had imagined.

She looked at her husband; he was pacing nervously in the far corner of the living room. They exchanged a brief glance – both of them nervous, beyond nervous.

The officer knocked again, this time much harder. Unwillingly, she walked to the door and turned the knob without making a noise.

A tall RCMP officer in full uniform was standing at the door, with his hand cautiously placed on the gun holster.

“Mrs. Sharma?” The officer inquired.

“Yes… Yes!” She said twice; her voice just barely louder than a whisper.

The officer peeked inside the house before actually stepping in. He spotted her husband standing motionless in the far end of the living room.

“Ma’am, I am Officer Wilson; we are responding to the 911 call….the emergency call” He said; he turned his head and looked around the house, inspecting the premises while still standing at the door.

She did not say anything in response.

“Is that your husband? Mr. Sharma?” He looked at her husband with a piercing gaze.

She just nodded, without saying anything again.

“Anybody else in the house? Any kids?”

“No,… my son…. is at school right now.” She responded quickly this time .

“Mr. Sharma, have a seat if you want, I will be with you shortly. “ He said to the husband as he walked towards the door.

“Ma’am, can I talk to you outside?” It was more of an order and she obliged, stepping outside the door. She noticed another officer standing just outside the door – a female office that walked over to her as soon as she stepped out.

“Mrs. Sharma!” Officer Wilson paused, “We are responded to your emergency call.”

She did not say anything in return.

“Ma’am, what happened?” He asked, this time very affirmatively, almost demanding.

“We just had an argument…”

“And..?”

“We just had a fight!”

“Did he hit you?”

“…umm… No”

“Ma’am, I am Officer Lee. We have a reason to believe that your husband hit you. That is what you reported on the phone!” This time, the female officer asked as the male officer stepped back.

She did not say anything in response.

“You don’t need to be scared Mrs. Sharma! The law is on your side. Just tell us, so we can help you!” The female officer said in a consoling tone. Continue reading →

Why Indian/desi guys find white women more attractive!

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Human relations are complicated by nature; there is always something deeper, something more than meet the eye. Inter-racial relation are even more complex, even though they have been around for ages.

A previous article discussed Why white women find desi or Indian guys less attractive?. Now, ask the guys from India about White woman. No matter what these white women think about the Indian guys, the desi dudes hold no grudge against them. In fact, it is quite the opposite.

So, why is it that Indian guys find white women more attractive? There is no simple answer; at least nobody admits that it is so black and white – or should be say ‘brown and white’!

1. Fair skin attraction – First thing first, it is a culture thing that Indians prefer fair skin, especially on a woman. Many attribute this to Bollywood where almost all the leading actresses have milky complexion, but fair skin preference goes way back, even before black-and-white flicks took over India cinema. Many of the matrimonial advertisements often include ‘fair skin’ mention or requirement. The white women win hands down, if you just go by the skin color. So, this is good first impression, to start with! The fair skin criteria goes beyond the Bollywood actresses, and is common among all India cultures – home or abroad.

2. Stronger sense of independence – Compared to an Indian woman raised in an Indian society, a white woman from West is much more independent and self-reliant. In western culture (Western, as in Europe and America, not as in cowboys), the women have much more say in their personal decision-making compared to India society where families dominate and control women’s upbringings.

3. Less family control - This is more of a continuation of previous point. The indian women are often controlled by the family in many important aspects of their life, including selecting a life-partner. So, the family interference is much more in the case of Indian women, and this is a turn-off for many guys – even by desi standard! Continue reading →

Plight of a woman in the NRI Marriages

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For decades, this has been a common practice; it is a part of Indian thinking. Parents in India marry their beloved son or daughter to NRIs visiting from Western counties, with the hope and wish that he or she will settle abroad, and perhaps more importantly, help them migrate as well. While India is enjoying the financial boom, the common man still looks up to the other countries as the ultimate salvation for their offspring.

Yes, arranged marriage is still very common in India, and especially when it comes to marrying abroad. With very little knowledge about a ‘funny dressed’ visitor from the west, people are willing to bond their son or daughter overnight, before someone else steals their opportunity – the opportunity of a golden ticket to go abroad.

Marriage is supposed to be a sacred bond, based on mutual love and respect. However, NRI marriages are fundamentally based on greed. It is the greed that results into lifelong headaches for many couples, if not heartaches.

Everyone knows that the arranged marriage is no walk in the park, especially the arranged marriages where a couple knows very little about each-other. What follows in a typical NRI marriage is surprises, compromises and then more compromises. There are lucky couples who can adapt quicker and understand each other mush faster. And then again, there are probably more couples who find it hard to adjust, where ego comes into play more than love. What follows thereafter is a life-long misery, constant conflicts and endless arguments on daily basis.

Indian society, even modern Indian society, looks down on divorce. Many families don’t even consider the option of separation. And once you have kids in the mix, it is even more difficult to separate, both sides sacrificing for the sake of the kids.

The situation is especially difficult for the women who marry a man abroad. The women are more eager to adapt, more willing to sacrifice. Very often, the women go beyond the call of duty to satisfy their spouses in the new land. They often have very few relatives abroad to fall back on, they lack the family support, the support of their own blood. Women are less confrontational by nature to start with, and it works against them. Continue reading →

From desi Hinglish to fluent English

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Those of us raised in India speak a very different English than the one spoken in Europe or North America or Australia. And it is natural, we are creations of our surroundings, we are always influenced by our mother tongue. As a result, the influence of Hindi language is naturally present in our English speech, hence the term Hinglish.

On this site – The Indians Abroad, there are quite a few articles that address the usage of Hinglish and how to minimize it. Speaking Hinglish is not a mistake or something to be overly concerned about, it is just a habit – the way we speak in our own neighborhood. Think about it, even Australian spoken English is far different than the American English. The local factors and the local slang are bound to influence the way we speak.

Hinglish usage is quite common in India, it is natural. No one cares, and no one should, as long as two parties can understand each-other. However, when we speak the same Hinglish abroad, not everybody is able to understand or comprehend the complete meaning, especially for those who are not familiar with desi terms and desi idioms.

This article is a compilation of previously written articles on topics related to language barriers abroad and the Hinglish usage. Rather than re-writing the whole summary, following links are a good start on how to minimize the use of Hinglish and what are the best approaches to adapt to the local speech while living abroad.

Crossing the Language Barrie abroad: ‘Language barrier’ refers to the difficulties people face if they don’t speak the same language, or with very different accent or style….the spoken English in America or other Western countries is not the same as in India, for example. The key issues surrounding the language barrier and the best ways to approach or alleviate them are highlighter in this article.

Self-help tips on minimizing Hinglish usage abroad: There are many simple things that we can do to speed up this adaptation to local English slang and language instead of Hinglish from India. This article lists some of the most effective tips.

12 Self-help tips on improving desi English language: These are some of the commonsense tips on how to improve your English while living abroad. Try them, some of them you may already be exposed to.

10 Tips on English pronunciation and accent improvement!: Accent plays a big role in our speech pattern and how we come across to the listeners. Adapting to the local accent is the first step towards improving your language skills.

’30 tips on the art of small talk’: Small talk or any chit-chat helps you practice your speech and conversation skills. As a result, you end up improving your spoken language.

Continue reading →

NBC’s ‘Outsourced’ – A hilarious culture clash or offensive?

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Many call this a strange or bold move form NBC, but it is more of a commonsense if you think about it – controversial shows get the attention from public and media alike. Thursday’s prime-time lineup from NBC includes ‘Outsourced’ – a comic satire on Indian culture through the eyes of American and Western office managers. Nothing original, but different!

The show in itself is hilarious, if you take it with a grain of salt. The Indian way of thinking, the Indian traditions, the office habits of local workers and how we perceive Americans – all on display in half an hour weekly comedy that is lighthearted and fun to watch.

The premise of ‘Outsourced’ is based on an an Indian call center in Mumbai selling American novelties. According to NBC, the Outsourced revolves around “the all-American company Mid America Novelties whose call center has suddenly been outsourced to India and a manager, played by Ben Rappaport, is being transferred to India to run the operation…”

The weekly sitcom touches on a variety of social and cultural Indian issues including arranged marriage, a young woman working in the call center to support her parents, how Indians view the American women, the Indian Accent and the fake American accent….

The half an hour sitcom, actually about 20 minutes in total if you take out the commercials in between, has very natural and down to earth style of exposing the cultural differences. The show may not have the same appeal to some the Indian audience, especially those who are not intimate with American lifestyle. For example, there are dialogues like:
“…I never imagined that I will be taking to beautiful women from exotic places like Fresno and Des Moines…!” Manmeet says in one episode, who is always fascinated with American girls and spends more time flirting over the phone than selling the novelties. If you live in US, you know that there is not a whole lot exotic about Fresno or Des Moines, actually quite the opposite. So, you need first-hand American knowledge to understand some of the humor. Continue reading →

Her social drinking troubles

India through the eyes of my American Classmates

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“So how do you like it here, in US?” This is a common icebreaker they use with new classmates from other countries.
“I love it; it’s fun!” is my general response. After all, I don’t need to complain about my homesickness to everybody.
“I would love to go to India, but am little bit worried about the safety and stuff over there; ….” Some hesitation about a new country is far away is quite normal among Americans.
“Stuff like what?” I like to explore what they think about India.
“Well, it is a new place; plus I don’t speak Indian.” Some say this as a joke, while other are clueless to the Indian languages.
And sometimes, the things get slippery after such small talk! And sometimes, that’s where the snakes, the elephants and other wild animals jump into the picture. Some questions, asked even with the utmost seriousness, beg for a chuckle, if not a full blown laugh!

I like my American classmates and friends just as much as my desi colleagues, well almost. At least, that’s what I would like to believe and that’s what I try anyways. Many of these firangs are my close friends. We eat together, we study together and we goof-off together. It’s a fun bunch of people I am surrounded by.

I am one of the three Indians in our class. There are students from everywhere – Canada, European countries, Australia, Kenya, Mexico and Korea…to name a few. They all come from a very diverse background, not to forget in all colors – white, brown, black, yellow, pink, dark pink…well, sometimes it is hard to tell the real color with all the makeup on. Continue reading →

Many Indians abroad dating exclusively whites only!

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19:19 Me
Are u okay if I use this ‘chat’ for a blog post…a post on ‘Some Indians abroad dating whites only’ ?

19:19 Neelam
No, not really! Plz!

19:20 Me
my loss

19:20 Neelam
haha….sorry

19:21 Me

19:21 Neelam
may be..you can change the name and place…a little

19:21 Me
I should do that.
Why though?

19:22 Neelam
haha I don’t need publicity..or hate mails…lol

19:22 Me
okay cool, thanks

19:23 Neelam
haha np

…………

“There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so.” said Shakespeare.

A friendly warning: take this post with a grain of salt, if you get indigestion from racial mix and deviations from the social norms.

Well, looks like you decided to read on! The ‘chat’ above is the ending portion of the conversation below.

Now, what the heck am I talking about?

Luckily or unluckily, I ran into someone online, someone who is a part of this ummm … trend! This ‘chat’ on the social network site is a quick glimpse into the psyche of the new desi generation abroad.

The ‘chat’ spans over multiple sessions, you may notice from the time-stamps. The mundane conversation started something like this:

15:19 Neelam
hi

15:20 Me
Hello Neelam, how r u?

15:20 Neelam
haha gud, n u? Continue reading →

The night before Babbu’s wedding

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Loud music, louder conversations, noisy kids running all over – it is a complete chaos. It seems like everybody is lost in the moment. Older ladies are sitting together next to the kitchen, sorting out the sweets and chit-chatting; the older men are sitting nearby – having their own small-talk and sipping on tea.

The younger generation is all mingled up. Some are bare feet, and some are testing their newly bought shoes on the dance floor in the basement, with Kesha’s ‘Tick Tock’ song blaring loud. Every now and then, a car pulls up to the front of the house with neatly trimmed landscape, dropping off new guests.

Tomorrow is a big day for the Gill family. Their only son Babbu is getting married. By the time the sun touched the western horizon, the house is all packed full. The guests from as far as India, London and Vancouver have flown in, all excited for the special day.

Their house in Brampton is a short drive from the Toronto airport. Raj – Babbu’s cousin, has been to the airport three times already, picking up the relatives as they arrive. He is most excited about the fourth trip, however. He is going to receive his three cousins from England, whom he has not seen for a long time.

Around 8PM, a black stretched limousine pulls to the front of the house. It is part of the last minute planned party for the groom and his passé. One last night, he is going to enjoy his single life before being shackled down into the married life. The limo driver steps outside the driver seat; polishes the already clean windshield with black cloth, like a ritual. Then he lights up a cigarette, while some of the elders watch him with a look of disapproval.

The groom and his passé of five friends and cousins finally start to get inside the limo. In the mean time, Raj also comes back from the airport, speeding all the way to the driveway; his three cousins jump out of of his car in no time. Everybody, including those inside the limo, rush over to greet them. There are hugs, there are hi-fives; there is loud laughter. After a quick exchange of greetings, Babbu and his passé run back to the limo; Raj and the three well-dress cousins with British accent follow them.

Finally, a little bit after 9PM, the limo drives off for a night-out on the town. All of them, ten of them all together, are bubbling with excitement.

“Can you take us to the liquor store, please”, someone shouts at the limo driver.
“Okay boss”, the limo driver shouts back.
“Where are we going”, asks Bobby, one of the cousins from England.
“Downtown”, many of them respond back, one after another.
“Downtown where?”….

Everybody tries to speak louder than the rest, as if fighting to have their say. The limo get to the liquor store. Raju and Babbu jump out, followed by everybody else. No one wants to be left behind, it seems.
“Get some Black Label.”
“We need beer”
“Something for shots.”
“Sambuca” … Continue reading →

The hidden social classes abroad – the Fabs, the FOBs, the ABCD

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You think you left the social class system back home, when you left India? Think again!

Perhaps, classes are part of our social life. May be this is how society works – one group of people trying to put down the other group while struggling to prove its own superiority.

The Indian society in the foreign lands has its own social classes, its own divisions. From outside, these divisions are not very visible, not very noticeable. This should come as a no surprise to those who have lived abroad amongst other Indians. You may see these partitions less if you are very isolated from rest of the Indian society overseas.

These classes are not based on your last name, cast or creed. Rather, the division is based on your social acceptance among the Indian diaspora. This somewhat hidden division is less visible an outsider – those who are not Indians or not a part of Indian community.

These classes or groups have their own way of looking across this social division. The locals – those who grow up abroad among the foreign culture, have their derogatory term for these new comers: FOBs. Similarly, first generation desis and these new-comers have their own name for the local Indians – ABCD. By end of the day, it boils down to how you look across the pond.

The ABCD:
This class or subgroup comes from the westernized desi society, mainly the second generation of Indians. This social group is much more in-tune with the local (the foreign adopted country) ways of living – their language, the slang and the dress-code follows the local trends. Their life-style is less desi or Indian, and much closer to the western ways of life.

This self-styled ‘cool’ group of Indians is mostly born and raised abroad. They are much more adapted to the society of the adopted country and the local ways of life. They often have a social circle of their own. Continue reading →

After-school daycare

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The daycare facility closes at 6PM. It was already 5:20PM, and the traffic is stop-and-go. His GPS navigation system estimated ‘the destination arrival time’ of 5:40.
“I will make it”, he said out loud, to himself.
“Come on, keep moving! My daughter is waiting for me!” As if the cars in front of him could hear him.
He had recently read somewhere that speaking English more often helps with improving the English accent. Instead of Hindi, he now tries to speak English as much as he can, even when he is alone.

“I don’t wanna go to the daycare after school”, she had told her mom again last night.
“We will pick you up soon after you get there. I promise.” Mom tried convincing her.
“I don’t like it there.”
“I am sure you will make new friends.”
“I already made two new friends – Hailey and Shira,” she said in a less complaining, and more of a bragging tone.
“See, I told you! Now get some sleep.”
“Goodnight mom. Love you.”
“Goodnight Isha, love you too.” Continue reading →

Desi in da club…or not!!

Quality of life abroad – going in circle

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Quality of life is often listed as one of the key reason for migrating to different country, or different place. For example, some the common reasons for migrating from India to countries abroad often include

The economic hardships and lower income,
Search of better employment,
Better education system or higher education,
Better medical facilities,
Ability to start and operate a business with minimum political and social corruption,
Financial and economic opportunities in a foreign land…etc.

All these facilities and much more developed infra structure, combined with financial advantages, add to the comforts of day-to-day life abroad. As a result, based on all this, it does make a difference to the quality of life.

Over the last many years, however, there have been lots of discussions about expatriates and NRIs going back home. There is even a cool term coined for it – R2I : return to India.

Why are lots of Indians returning to India? Guess what – one of the most common reasons for R2I is ‘quality of life’ back home. Continue reading →