Tag Archives: Culture

The Changes in India – An NRI’s View

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An NRI’s perspective on the main changes in India

After a long time, I went back to India this summer. Everybody was warning me, “You won’t recognize your town.” … “Be prepared for a reverse culture-shock”…. “It is not the same India you left more than a decade ago.”

Even though the reason for my trip was family emergency, I was quite excited. My trip was short, only two weeks, but I was all looking forward to going places and visiting friends, families, old memories…..

Yes, I did see the new face of India; I did visit all of my old friends, all of my relatives and neighbors, even though I barely recognized half of them.

It was very hot for the month of May, but I spent everyday on the road – going places and meeting everyone I had intended to.

Not to disappoint anyone, I was not shocked or surprised after what I saw in my home-town or overall in India. May be because I was already warned. The main changes I noticed were:

Bigger houses and shopping malls everywhere: Almost every house has added one more floor/storey to their residence; or they have added adjacent rooms. That’s good, because it used to be quite crowded indoor before. It is still crowded for some reason even though there are more rooms. A lot more shops and malls add to the city life.

Traffic is crazier than ever: Once I started my Indian journey from Delhi airport, the sound of non-stop horns on the road was the first realization that I was home. The traffic is much crazier. The funny thing is that the drivers are much more aggressive, and still, they are always late to their final destination.

Everybody has two cell phones: I don’t get it, why you need two cell phones. The way my driver explained to me, “One is to talk to my family and friends, and one for others.” I still don’t get the ‘others’ part. Continue reading →

10 simple ways to improve cross culture understanding in a new country

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The social adaption varies from person to person, some people adapt faster than others. Regardless, it is very natural to have strong opinion or strong biases against a new culture or a new place.

Once we move to a new culture, we subconsciously start to get used to the new norms as time goes. And, in many cases, we don’t even realize that we are adapting to the new culture; it happens automatically. It is a natural social change – adapting to the new culture over time.

However, the social adaption happens much faster if we make a conscious effort to interact with the local culture. To improve the cross cultural understanding and learning more about the local way of life, here are a few simple but effective things that we can do:

1. Adapt to the local language: Don’t isolate yourself from the local language and the local way of speaking – the slang, the style, …. the whole nine yards. The article ‘Self-help guide to lose your accent’ goes into the details on this subject.

2. Participate in the community functions: Be a part of the local community. The social interactions help with understanding the local culture and appreciating the differences.

3. Volunteer at a local school or library: Being a volunteer at local school or library is not only a noble thing to do, but it help you equally. You learn a lot about the local way of life, the local education system and it opens many doors to the local activities.

4. Don’t be over conscious of being different: We are all different, one way or another. The world would be a boring place if we were all very similar. So don’t be self-conscious about being a minority in a local culture. Continue reading →

Cross-culture understanding – It is a culture thing

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India Abroad: The multi-cultural living – it’s a culture thing

It’s human nature; we have opinions; we carry biases in our head all the times, even when we don’t want to. The way we are raised, the way we have seen the world growing up, affects the way we think. We always look at everything and everyone through the eyes of our own culture.
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One of the common biases in any culture is the self superiority complex – every culture considers itself superior or better than others. For someone from India who is new in America, for example, it is not an unreasonable belief that Indian culture (or subculture based on the part of India one belongs to) is far better than any of the local American cultures.

One of the key reasons for self superiority is that fact that we don’t know as much about other cultures. We try to judge and perceive everything and everybody from the viewpoints of our own culture.
Why?
Because that is the only reliable reference we have. We know our culture so intimately; we are so used to our own social standards. Everything outside our society has to measure up to our cultural norms – good or bad, true or false. That is why we are always comparing different aspects of a newly acquired foreign society to that of what we are so used to – our own India culture or sub-cultures. Continue reading →

The way I used to be

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I miss aimless walking through the streets, the summer roam;
Venturing out in the winter chill, and wandering astray.
Not knowing the destination, but always feeling at home;
I miss howling at the rickshaws, telling them, “Just take me that way.”

I miss the dusty paths, the unpaved roads with no sign to ‘stop’;
Or treading through the morning fog, where one could barely see.
Or waiting for hours at the corner, for a glimpse of her from the roof-top;
And then wondering all day, ‘what her name might be’! Continue reading →

Loving the life in Canada

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She waited in the line for 30 minutes before the Brampton Employment Resource Centre opened. Once inside, there was more wait. She sat in a chair waiting for her turn while people around her chatted.
She thought she was a people-person, but everything around her seemed to annoy her that day. She was tired of fruitless job search.

The place was crowded. There were all kinds of people around her. Two women sat in the front row, giggling and filling up an application. A group of middle aged men were standing nearby, with construction workers’ shoes on, as if ready to start some construction job right away. A young mother sat next to her, with infant toying with the milk bottle.
“They did not have any openings last week”, the young mother said, trying to make a small talk, and then added quickly, “Hi, my name is Kari!”
“Hi, I am Jassi.”
“So you are local?” Kari asked, while trying to control the little one who wanted to wander away from her arms.
“Sort of, but I have been in Canada only for a few months.”
A long silence; she grabbed the baby who was eager to wander around, “There are no jobs in accounting in Brampton area!”
“Really?”
“Yeah, the adviser showed me some openings in the restaurants last week, but I don’t want to be waitress; I need a real job!” Kari kept going; expressing her frustrations with the job search.
“I know how you feel”, Jassi said quietly. Kari most likely did not hear her; she did not respond. Or, she didn’t want to talk about her feelings.

“This sucks man,” the guy with construction worker’s shoes said, as he waked away from the counter. He obviously did not like the news, whatever the lady at the counter said.

“It was nice to meet you, I have to go,” Jassi said.
“Why? Don’t you want to meet the adviser; your turn should be coming up in 10-15 minutes?” Jassi had already walked out, even before Kari could finish her sentence. Continue reading →

Canadian Living – A multicultural society by default

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We are always busy comparing stuff around us. We compare apples to oranges, Bollywood to Hollywood, old music to new music….It is human nature we compare our experiences with all sorts of things all the time.
If you live in USA or Canada, you most likely have heard this from your desi friends:
“Canadians are much friendlier!”
“Canada is a much better place to live”…
Or something similar…

I have heard the same so many times from many Indians who either travel through Canada or have lived in Canada. Many of them have lived in both Canada and USA at different times of their lives, so they speak from their experiences.

Recently, while traveling through Canada, I got the first hand opportunity to explore the local living and local cultures. There are some things that stand out in Canadian cities:

Canadian cities are much more multi-cultural and diverse:If you walk through the streets of Toronto or any other major Canadian city, you will notice one significant difference compared to major US cities – you are surrounded by a very ethnic and diverse crowd. The brown skin seems much more mingled and much more predominant. Continue reading →

Chumma Stuff

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Neal had a biology exam that day, right after the lunch hour. So, he was in a rush from the very minute he walked into the cafeteria.

The place was crowded more than usual, it seemed. Looking for a place to sit, so he could gulp down the chicken burger, he scanned all the sitting area. That’s when he saw an empty spot next to her.

She was sitting alone, lost in her own world; eating and reading at the same time.

Their previous interactions were brief, nothing more than ‘hello’, ‘hi’ or ‘how are you’? He mostly saw her in the library, sitting in a corner, minding her own business, always busy with her books. Sometime she would sit alone but most of the time, her American friends surrounded her.

There were only a few Indian girls on the college campus, Henna was one of them.

“Hi Henna”, he said approaching the vacant seat.

“Hi, how are you,” she said with a slight smile. Her eyes went back to the book after a quick greeting.

He started to dig into his burger and fried. She kept reading, and eating.

“What are you reading?” he asked, trying to break the silence.

“Chumma”, she paused, “stuff”, she added without lifting her head.

All confused, he waited but a silence followed. ‘What kind of stuff that might be?’ he thought to him self – ‘chumma stuff!’ Continue reading →

Welcome to the world of Holi festival – without colors

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The Holi day in India; the festival of colors! Dry colors , wet colors, sticky colors, shiny colors, or just plain water if you run out of the colors – everything is a fair game. Friends, foes, families, strangers – everybody is a fair target, well, most of the time. No one minds, or to be politically correct, no one is supposed to mind, if their all dressy outdoor wear is smudged with colors. No one is supposed to hold a grudge if their best dress gets messed up from the Holi colors. Why? Because it is Holi, the festival of colors – no other explanation is needed. A rainbow of colors is an expected scene – almost everywhere.

If you live in India or grew up there, we all know, you can go crazy with the colors if you want to. The day itself demands you to be colorful – inside and out.

Just like in India, the Indian communities abroad – all around the world, celebrate Holi festival. However, there is a often one big difference in the celebrations – the absence of the colors (or very few colors – just as a symbol). Plain and simple – it is not as colorful!

In many overseas celebrations, the scene is not quite the same as in India. In many countries, it is just like any other normal day. You can celebrate the festival within the walls of your own home, or in your own backyard, or with some desi friends if you are lucky to find those who understand the Holi spirits. That’s about it. Your choices and your enthusiasm are limited. Even within Indian circles, very few bothers to celebrate Holi now-a-days! At least, not like we used to, in India. Many westernized Indian kids want to enjoy it in their won way – from a distance, as long as the colors don’t touch them. Why would you want to look ridiculous and messy in the middle of the day! Continue reading →

Extra polite or not so…?

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The shopkeeper is extra polite when he does not understand the customer.
The listener is extra polite when she doe not understand you and says, “Could you repeat that please!”

People are just normal polite when they can relate to you. But if you are getting lots of ‘extra polite treatment’, that may mean many things, including some of the things like:

  •  they don’t get you
  • they don’t understand you
  • they don’t relate to you
  • they find you different than their own kind
  • they don’t know how to interact with you…

Or, in rare cases, they are just extra nice people being extra polite, but you can always tell the difference.

The modern day social disassociation is not a slap in the face, a rude remark, or an outrageous action such as asking you to leave. Instead, it is the actions with extra care, with extra politeness that convey the message.

Most of the times, extra politeness is just extra caution people use when dealing with someone different, someone who does not fit in. Continue reading →

NRIs’ misplaced nostalgia of good old days

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If you listen to the first generation of Indian Americans abroad – especially those who migrated long time ago – they paint a very bright and picture of their past memories of India:

“Those were different days – happier times. We never cared much about anything – anything but friendship and good company. The schools were parties – a meeting place where all the good and bad schemes were hatched…”

“All summer we played cards under the big shade tree next to the pond….And, when we got bored of cards, we played marbles, or took a nap on a cot. No air-conditioners could compete with the monsoon soaked eastern breeze of summer days. Those were the days….!”

The first generation of immigrants misses the homeland of India more than anything. In most of the week-end parties or social gatherings, talking about good old day is one of the common topics. The nostalgic discussion intensifies after a few drinks. The memories of childhood, the growing up, the friends back home, the food, the aimless wandering…well, there is no end to the journey down the memory lane, the memories of past left behind..

Yearning for the past is a human nature. We always cling to the memories of yesterdays. Regardless where we live, the nostalgia is nothing more than trying to hold on to the past. The past is not easy to let go, even though we all talk about moving on. Living abroad just adds one more dimension to all this – the living in the past. Continue reading →

Indian Beliefs or Perceptions of American and European Culture

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India Abroad: Indian misconceptions or perceptions of the overseas culture

The Indian misconceptions or perceptions of the the cultures abroad are closely related to our way of thinking. It is human nature, we always try to understand everything in terms of our own culture. Everything we see, everything we observe, we see it through the lenses of our own culture. When we look at the American or the European culture, most of the time, we are just comparing it with our Indian culture, our own beliefs. As mentioned in a previous article, our beliefs play a major role in how we see rest of the world.

Many of you may consider this as a redundant piece of information – nothing new. Yes, you are right. It is nothing new, but it is something – we still have these misunderstandings or notions that we should remind ourselves of; it is something that may help us with self awareness and as a result, may reduce our stereotype about foreign cultures.
So take this with a grain of salt. Some of these misconceptions may sound absurd, or may sound very true – depending on your personal outlook, depending on what you believe.

Here are some of the beliefs and notions that Indians have about the Western – American or European or Australian – culture.

Not Very Religious: It is very hard to compare one religion to another. For example, in some religions you are expected to pray multiple times a day while in some others a daily prayer might do. The fact is every religion dictates its own rituals, it own guidelines. The religion is a very predominant part of the western society. the younger generation may be a bit less religious and more spititual. If you pass by any Church in America on a Sunday morning, they are jam-packed; you won’t find a place to park.

Drug Use and Similar Vices:Where do we start, may be with some Bollywood movies depicting or comparing western culture with desi culture. :) ! We may be exaggerating a bit when we say that smoking and drug use is much more common in the Western countries. If you walk down the street of any major US city, you won’t find many smokers in public, just as an example. People are more health conscious now-a-days. The drug use is probably comparable to India. You are not going to find ganja smoking hippies (as shown in some Indian movies) on a corner of every American or European city streets. That was 70s, and the movie was ‘Purab or Paschim’! :) Continue reading →

Our Beliefs and the Outside World

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We’re never gonna win the world
We’re never gonna stop the war
We’re never gonna beat this
If belief is what we’re fighting for
~ From John Mayer’s ‘Belief’

It is human nature, we think in terms of what we are exposed to or what are familiar with in our surroundings. Our thinking and the way we behave is greatly influenced by how we grew up – how we were raised as a kid.

The childhood is when most of our beliefs are formed, when we watch others and try to figure out what is the accepted norm – what is right and what is wrong. As we watch the world around us day after day, our beliefs firm up over time. We start to make our own mind and our own opinion about everything around us.

“Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen.” said Albert Einstein. By the time we enter our adulthood, we already have our own beliefs about the world around us.

Just think about it:

  • Our political and social views are always influenced by the community we live in and by our own social circle. Don’t confuse this with your Face Book or Twitter network – there is a real world out there;  just look outside the window. :)
  • We always follow the same religion as our parents; our religious beliefs are greatly influenced by our family and the religious preaching while growing up.

Continue reading →

A not so vain global fashion

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The fashions change with time, the trends evolve. The hairstyle, the shoes, the dress code..….everything changes as the time goes.

And, it is not just our dress code, it is not just how we present ourselves, the change is a part of every aspect of our lives. How we address each-other, how we greet someone, how we write, how we talk…..everything is so different compared to when we were kids.

When we were kids, smoking in public was a common scene; throwing trash on the roadside – or in the middle of the street – was not rare; kicking an empty can or a bottle down the street was normal. It was somewhat cool and expected.

But that is not the case anymore. The time has moved on, so has the social thinking, so has the new ‘cool’.

Now-a-days, people dress less formal; the greetings are more casual. It is no longer a fashion to smoke in a public place. You will get some dirty looks if you decide to toss your empty Coke or Pepsi bottle in the middle of the road.

So what is fashion now-a-days? What is the new cool?

Cleaning behind your own mess is considered cool now-a-days. If you refrain from smoking, your colleagues appreciate that – as non-smoking is the new trend. If you recycle your waste, you will earn some extra points from your neighbors and friends. Picking up someone else’s trash and throwing in the recycle or garbage bin nearby is all cool.

So next time, when you see an empty bottle or a can lying in the middle of the street, when you see a newspaper trashed along side-walk, it is okay to pick it up and throw it in the recycle bin. It is okay to remind a smoker in a public park that smoking is not allowed there; a mother with a small kid nearby will appreciate your gesture.

Now-a-days, here in North America, more and more households are switching to fuel efficient cars and trucks. People are starting to brag about how they are using environment friendly ideas – the solar lights, the energy efficient appliances, planting more trees in the neighborhood. ‘Going green’ is becoming a new topic of small talk……

It is the new trend; it is the new fashion that is catching up everywhere. Continue reading →

‘Color-blind’ kool kids of today!

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Fading racial bias and prejudice among the younger generations abroad!

Children make you want to start life over. ~Muhammad Ali

11:50 AM, 12/5/09
San Francisco suburbs, USA
Location: A kids’ party venue

“Rupa, you are here!,” a pretty little girl in red exclaimed the obvious; her curly blond hair bounce as she shakes her head with a chuckle.
“Happy Birthday, Courtney,” said Rupa, handing over the gift bag. The mothers exchanged a smile, and a hello; and then moved inside to make room for the next young guest arriving with another gift bag.

Kids run around in the play area. All kinds of play stations are spread around, twinkling bright lights filling the large play-room with colorful glow.

Every few minutes, a new kid arrives with a new gift. And, the ‘birthday girl’ – Courtney – runs to the welcome area to greet the newly arrived friend. Smiles, giggles, chuckles and innocent greeting fill the air:
“Hi, how did you get here?”
“I didn’t know you were coming!”
“Did you see the big pile of my gifts?”
“You are here too???”…….a joyful and lively chatter fills the big play room.

In the play area, a clear pattern starts to emerge. The kids are getting on with what they are good at – playing. Boys are crowding the ‘boyish games’ – target shooting, hoops, gun battle, Sponge Bob etc. They are running around – play station to play station, bragging and showing off, making sure that there is someone to witness their great performance.

The little girls have their own things going, mostly with the girly stuff. They are attracted to the ‘mechanical pony rides’, ‘matching games’, ‘the make-up show’ and pink swirly slides…… And, some more adventurous ones are taking up on the boys, playing hoops and shoots. There are no barriers, no rules, no bars. Everybody is a busy in their main goal – having fun. Continue reading →

Thanksgiving – More than Family, Food and a Prayer!

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Happy Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving300x225

Today, on 4th Thursday of every November, America is celebrating Thanksgiving Day. The schools are closed for better part of this week; most of the businesses close Thursday though Sunday. Everybody is in a festive mood.

The American Thanksgiving holiday traces its origins back to 1621 when newly arrived Pilgrims from England held a harvest feast after a successful crop growing season. For more on the history of the holiday, you can take a look at Wikipedia or search online…. :)

So, it is a harvest festival. Over the years, however, it has become a ‘Turkey Day’ – every feast for every family gathering is supposed to include baked or roasted turkey. Cooking a 20 pound turkey is an adventure in itself. There are live help-lines where you can call toll-free from your kitchen for help, if cooking is not going the way you expected; the nice ladies on the other end of the phone are always full of tips and tricks to help you out. This – ‘the turkey tip line’ – is one of the businesses they cannot outsource to India or China, at least not yet! :)

Thanksgiving is the time to thank, as can tell by the name itself – duh! It is time to thank God, family and friends. It is time to thank God for all the good things and good karma bestowed on you. It is time to thank friends and family for their support, for their love, and for standing with you throughout the year. So no doubt, there is lots of feasting, lost of family gatherings and yes, some praying involved.

Regardless where you live, where you come from, or which culture you belong to, the festivals have a similar theme all around the globe. The three main components of most of the festivals are family, eating and praying – may be in varying degrees.

However, perhaps the most fun thing about Thanksgiving is shopping!!

The day after the Thanksgiving, often called Black Friday, is the busiest shopping day of the year; the start of Christmas shopping season. Some of the best deals and bargains are offered on this day, the stores open at 5AM or sooner, and if you want to find a decent parking spot, you better get their long before…..A mob scene at its best! :) Continue reading →