The Indians Abroad

Overseas Living: NRIs & India abroad

Posts Tagged Culture

Happy Lohri

Jan 13

Posted by admin in Culture & Society, India | No Comments

Kids of all ages gather in small groups, going from house-to-house collecting jaggery candies, peanuts, sweets and even cash…Small bonfires lit throughout the every corner of the town, creating illusions of warmth in the shivering cold January dusk…. The sound of folk music resonate in every corner…

This is yet another excuse to celebrate and party, especially for the families blessed with newborns in the last year 12 months…Farmers pray for a prosperous year ahead; kids pray for tons of candy before the night ends.

January 13 marks the Lohri festival – the winter solstice, a popular celebration in north India. As the days start to get longer and the nights shrink, the festival marks the psychological fade of winter in the coming weeks. Read the rest of this entry »

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INOC DC hosts Kapil Sibal

Oct 27

Posted by admin in India, india abroad, News, Non-Resident Indian, NRI, politics | No Comments

This post is a guest contribution by Lavika Bhagat

REPORT OF THE EVENT ORGANIZED BY INOC, DC CHAPTER

Indian National Overseas Congress (USA) Washington DC Chapter proudly hosted a reception in honor of Honorable Kapil Sibal ji, senior leader of the Indian National Congress Party, Minister for Human Resources and Development, Government of India on October 15, 2011 at The Mandarin Oriental Hotel, Washington DC.

Minister Sibal co-chaired the US-India Higher Education Summit with US Secretary of State Hillary Rodham Clinton on Oct 13 and 14, 2011 at Washington DC. After this high-profile conference, Minister Sibal attended this personable breakfast gathering with a group of Indian American business and education leaders invited by Lavika Bhagat Singh, President of the Indian National Overseas Congress in Washington DC.

Attendees included representatives of the US Federal and State Government, prominent Indian Americans, IT industrialists, educationists, and Indian students studying in the Washington DC area. Among the many prominent Indian Americans were Dr. Natwar M. Gandhi, the Chief Financial Officer for Washington DC, Rajan Natarajan, Deputy Secretary of State of Maryland, Sanjay Rai, Provost and Dean, Montgomery College, State of Maryland, Raj Narsimhan who serves on Virginia Governor Bob McDonnell’s Commission on Higher Education Reform, Innovation and Investment. Read the rest of this entry »

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Yes, Life is different here!

Sep 17

Posted by admin in Culture & Society, india abroad, Non-Resident Indian, NRI, personal development, Religion, Trivial Stuff | 1 Comment

Living Abroad – Different strokes for different folks!

Yes, life is different here, very different!!
People speak so many different languages here. Just walk down the street and you will get an earful of gibberish dialects for sure; many of those you have never heard of!

Here, people come from all over the places! They have different skin tones, different heights. They walk differently, they talk differently. Some have local accent; others are outsiders for sure. Some speak in a monotone while others are too dramatic in every expression. Some stand still and deliver their opinion in a quiet but firm voice, while others use their hands and gestures more than their tongue.

Some dress sparingly and reveal everything, very outdoorsy to say it modestly! Others are too covered, as if protecting themselves from a wintery chill, even in the summer months.

Yes, life is different here, very different!!
The food choices are quite interesting, or strange. Some like it plain and others, spicy. Some eat only vegetables while others hunt for meat. Some can afford it all, while others live from hand to mouth. Some like it exotic and show off their feasts while others struggle to feed even two times a day.

Some splurge in excess while others conserve all the time. Some fast, because they have over-indulged in food while others fail to understand the concept of diet control.

Yes, life is different here, very different!!
There are so many different religions; some are more popular than others. Not everybody believe in a God but they all have their opinions. Fighting over religion is very common. Everybody is so guarded against others’ religion. Read the rest of this entry »

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Her Canada size compromises

Feb 22

Posted by admin in Culture & Society, india abroad, Marriages & weddings, Non-Resident Indian, NRI | 5 Comments

She had big dreams, her ideology was based on truth, honesty and kindness. But that was a long time ago, that was when she was seventeen. She thought she was special; she was born to do great things; she was born to make a difference. But then again, that was was when she was in high school. She barely new the world out there. She never knew that the rules of kindness, love and truth apply differently beyond the walls of her house.

Somewhere along the way, somewhere in the process of growing up, she left her house to encounter the real world. She was no longer shielded by her family and her loved ones. It was part of her society, it was part of the traditions to move out. She got married; her family tied her knot to an educated man from Canada. Not because they knew him, or she loved him; they married her in the hope that life would be better in Canada. That is what everyone thought, and that is what they believed – she will be better off in Canada, far better off.

But then again, people are not what they appear to be. In the real world abroad, things are very different. The real world is far different than the one based on dreams; the real world where ideology is often talked but seldom practiced. Most of the people talk big but do little, she soon learned.

In no time, she was exposed to the double standards as she left her father’s house. She saw hypocrisy first hand – day in and day out. The lies, the deceptions, the compromises – everything was at play on the big stage of life. Read the rest of this entry »

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Plight of a woman in the NRI Marriages

Feb 13

Posted by admin in Consciousness & Awareness, Culture & Society, India, india abroad, Marriages & weddings, Most Popular Stories, Non-Resident Indian, NRI | 4 Comments

For decades, this has been a common practice; it is a part of Indian thinking. Parents in India marry their beloved son or daughter to NRIs visiting from Western counties, with the hope and wish that he or she will settle abroad, and perhaps more importantly, help them migrate as well. While India is enjoying the financial boom, the common man still looks up to the other countries as the ultimate salvation for their offspring.

Yes, arranged marriage is still very common in India, and especially when it comes to marrying abroad. With very little knowledge about a ‘funny dressed’ visitor from the west, people are willing to bond their son or daughter overnight, before someone else steals their opportunity – the opportunity of a golden ticket to go abroad.

Marriage is supposed to be a sacred bond, based on mutual love and respect. However, NRI marriages are fundamentally based on greed. It is the greed that results into lifelong headaches for many couples, if not heartaches.

Everyone knows that the arranged marriage is no walk in the park, especially the arranged marriages where a couple knows very little about each-other. What follows in a typical NRI marriage is surprises, compromises and then more compromises. There are lucky couples who can adapt quicker and understand each other mush faster. And then again, there are probably more couples who find it hard to adjust, where ego comes into play more than love. What follows thereafter is a life-long misery, constant conflicts and endless arguments on daily basis.

Indian society, even modern Indian society, looks down on divorce. Many families don’t even consider the option of separation. And once you have kids in the mix, it is even more difficult to separate, both sides sacrificing for the sake of the kids.

The situation is especially difficult for the women who marry a man abroad. The women are more eager to adapt, more willing to sacrifice. Very often, the women go beyond the call of duty to satisfy their spouses in the new land. They often have very few relatives abroad to fall back on, they lack the family support, the support of their own blood. Women are less confrontational by nature to start with, and it works against them. Read the rest of this entry »

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NBC’s ‘Outsourced’ – A hilarious culture clash or offensive?

Dec 8

Posted by admin in Culture & Society, India, Jobs and Occupations, Non-Resident Indian, NRI | 8 Comments

Many call this a strange or bold move form NBC, but it is more of a commonsense if you think about it – controversial shows get the attention from public and media alike. Thursday’s prime-time lineup from NBC includes ‘Outsourced’ – a comic satire on Indian culture through the eyes of American and Western office managers. Nothing original, but different!

The show in itself is hilarious, if you take it with a grain of salt. The Indian way of thinking, the Indian traditions, the office habits of local workers and how we perceive Americans – all on display in half an hour weekly comedy that is lighthearted and fun to watch.

The premise of ‘Outsourced’ is based on an an Indian call center in Mumbai selling American novelties. According to NBC, the Outsourced revolves around “the all-American company Mid America Novelties whose call center has suddenly been outsourced to India and a manager, played by Ben Rappaport, is being transferred to India to run the operation…”

The weekly sitcom touches on a variety of social and cultural Indian issues including arranged marriage, a young woman working in the call center to support her parents, how Indians view the American women, the Indian Accent and the fake American accent….

The half an hour sitcom, actually about 20 minutes in total if you take out the commercials in between, has very natural and down to earth style of exposing the cultural differences. The show may not have the same appeal to some the Indian audience, especially those who are not intimate with American lifestyle. For example, there are dialogues like:
“…I never imagined that I will be taking to beautiful women from exotic places like Fresno and Des Moines…!” Manmeet says in one episode, who is always fascinated with American girls and spends more time flirting over the phone than selling the novelties. If you live in US, you know that there is not a whole lot exotic about Fresno or Des Moines, actually quite the opposite. So, you need first-hand American knowledge to understand some of the humor. Read the rest of this entry »

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Have a scary and spooky Halloween!

Oct 30

Posted by admin in Culture & Society, Trivial Stuff | 5 Comments

Happy Halloween!

Have a spooky Halloween!

Here we go again – another summer gone, another winter knocking on the door. The end of October is here; the kids are shopping for the costumes; the candy aisles in every store are stocked to the limit.

Yes, that Halloween is here.

The wizards, the warlocks, the witches, the vampires, the princesses.….you name it… kids all over America and many other countries have been busy for weeks, planning for this big day. Everyone has figured out what they want to be for the Halloween night, the finishing touches are in the final stages….

And, the grown-ups are not far behind. The households are decorated in the orange hue. The pumpkins and a variety of odd spooky objects occupy the front yards everywhere, creating a haunting scene in every neighborhood. There is no limit, nothing is considered extreme – the skeletons, the fake graveyards, the glowing spider webs, the ghostly creatures…..everything is a fair game. Read the rest of this entry »

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The mistress, the live-in relationship, the one-night-stand!

Oct 24

Posted by admin in India, News, Trivial Stuff | 2 Comments

The legality of  unconventional relationships in India

The Supreme Court of India recently ruled on the often unspoken topic of unmarried relationships. The court touches on some the legal aspects of non-conventional relations including one-night-stand, a man’s ‘keep’ and live-in-relationship. This sort of relations and living arrangements have always been considered a taboo in the Indian society -  home or abroad. Perhaps, not so much these days!

In India, a country where marriage is a part of the religious guidelines, society as a whole has always looked down on couples living outside the marital boundaries. Even the supreme body of Indian legal system did not forget to remind us of the good old morality:

“In feudal society, sexual relationship between man and woman outside marriage was totally taboo and regarded with disgust and horror as depicted in Leo Tolstoy’s novel ‘Anna Karenina’, Gustave Flaubert’s novel ‘Madame Bobary’ and the novels of the great Bengali writer Sarat Chandra Chattopadhyay….”

“However, Indian society is changing and this change has been reflected and recognized by Parliament by enacting the Protection of Woman from Domestic Violence Act, 2005,” the Indian Supreme Court bench said in the ruling. Read the rest of this entry »

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A glimmer of hope – Indian sports in international arena

Oct 17

Posted by admin in Culture & Society, environment, India, Sports | 2 Comments

Future of India in the international and global sports competitions

Indian is a country with population of 1.2 billion people;second largest in the world. Home or abroad, the Indians are known for their hard work and perseverance. And yet, when it come to the sports, India does not have much to show in the international arena. India has never been a top contender in the global sports competitions.

Yes, cricket is big; the country is crazed about the game. There are about ten competitive cricket playing nations in the world, and India is often often among the top ten! :) Beyond cricket, India does not really have much world presence in the sports and athletic competitions.

In the Olympics games, for example, India has miserably failed to deliver any world class performance. At one time, India used to rein supreme in the field hockey, but not anymore. The most medal that India has ever won in the Olympics are 3, in 2008 Olympics in Beijing. That is quite a dismal performance for a country of the size of India!

There have been numerous explanations for India’s lack of sports at the international level. Poverty, malnutrition, neglected infrastructure, lack of funding and equipment, political corruption and the predominance of cricket…..so many factors combined together have been blamed in the past.

However, it is worth noting that India is not the same country it used to be a few decades back. India, as a nation, has made a lots of headway; it has taken some giant steps in the right direction. The economy is booming and the influence of western culture including the western sports is everywhere. Could it be that the current prosperity may lead to a more competitive India at the international platform? It is quite possible. In fact, it seems that India may be on the right track for the first time. Read the rest of this entry »

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Her social drinking troubles

Sep 23

Posted by admin in Culture & Society, Entertainment, india abroad, Most Popular Stories, Non-Resident Indian, NRI, Short Story | No Comments

Her parents drove for two hours to reach Surrey, B.C. They had to be there on this Saturday afternoon, they did not have a choice. They were worried about their beloved daughter, Anita.

The previous week they had received a disturbing call from Rani, Anita’s mother-in-law.
“I am not sure how to tell you this, but I have to; the neighbors are starting to talk!” She told Anita’s mother, Meena.
“I don’t understand, what happened?” Meena asked; her voice barely audible.
“Can you come over this week-end? Then we can talk,” Rani said after a pause.
With shaking hands, Meena put down the phone and slumped in the sofa.

“What’s going on?” Meena called Anita within minutes, the suspense was killing her.
“Hi mom, how are you?” Anita was caught off guard.
Her mom was quiet on the other end of the line.
I don’t know what you talking about, mom,” Anita added.
“Rani just called me.”
“I don’t know what the big deal is about. Everything is okay mom!” Anita said.
“You tell me now, or I am coming there tonight!”
“You can drive for two hours and come over mom, we are ordering Pizza today!” She giggled, trying to lighten up the conversation.
“Don’t change the subject!” Her mom was serious.
“Nothing, mom. Nothing is going on!”
“Okay, give the phone to Jas, let me ask him!”
“He is not home mom!”
“So?”
“Okay, umm…..they are saying that I drink!”
There was a long silence. Anita could hear her mother mumbling some prayer on the other side of the phone.
“You okay, mom?”
“Do you…?”
“No mom, I don’t drink. Only, sometimes with friends; you know – socially.”
There was another long pause.
“Wait till your dad finds out. You will be sorry!”
“Mom, I am married now, with kids!”
“You still have to respect your family and the culture!”
“Don’t get me started with the double standards, mom!” Read the rest of this entry »

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India through the eyes of my American Classmates

Aug 28

Posted by admin in Culture & Society, India, india abroad, Most Popular Stories, Non-Resident Indian, NRI | 4 Comments

“So how do you like it here, in US?” This is a common icebreaker they use with new classmates from other countries.
“I love it; it’s fun!” is my general response. After all, I don’t need to complain about my homesickness to everybody.
“I would love to go to India, but am little bit worried about the safety and stuff over there; ….”  Some hesitation about a new country is far away is quite normal among Americans.
“Stuff like what?” I like to explore what they think about India.
“Well, it is a new place; plus I don’t speak Indian.” Some say this as a joke, while other are clueless to the Indian languages.
And sometimes, the things get slippery after such small talk! And sometimes, that’s where the snakes, the elephants and other wild animals jump into the picture. Some questions, asked even with the utmost seriousness, beg for a chuckle, if not a full blown laugh! :)

I like my American classmates and friends just as much as my desi colleagues, well almost. At least, that’s what I would like to believe and that’s what I try anyways. Many of these firangs are my close friends. We eat together, we study together and we goof-off together. It’s a fun bunch of people I am surrounded by.

I am one of the three Indians in our class. There are students from everywhere – Canada, European countries, Australia, Kenya, Mexico and Korea…to name a few. They all come from a very diverse background, not to forget in all colors – white, brown, black, yellow, pink, dark pink…well, sometimes it is hard to tell the real color with all the makeup on. :) Read the rest of this entry »

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Many Indians abroad dating exclusively whites only!

Aug 11

Posted by admin in Culture & Society, Facebook, india abroad, Most Popular Stories, Non-Resident Indian, NRI, Race Relations, Short Story | 6 Comments

19:19 Me
Are u okay if I use this ‘chat’ for a blog post…a post on ‘Some Indians abroad dating whites only’ ?

19:19 Neelam
No, not really! Plz!

19:20 Me
my loss :(

19:20 Neelam
haha….sorry

19:21 Me
:(

19:21 Neelam
may be..you can change the name and place…a little

19:21 Me
I should do that.
Why though?

19:22 Neelam
haha I don’t need publicity..or hate mails…lol

19:22 Me
okay cool, thanks

19:23 Neelam
haha np

…………

“There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so.” said Shakespeare.

A friendly warning: take this post with a grain of salt, if you get indigestion from racial mix and deviations from the social norms. :)

Well, looks like you decided to read on! The ‘chat’ above is the ending portion of the conversation below.

Now, what the heck am I talking about? :)

Luckily or unluckily, I ran into someone online, someone who is a part of this ummm … trend! This ‘chat’ on the social network site is a quick glimpse into the psyche of the new desi generation abroad.

The ‘chat’ spans over multiple sessions, you may notice from the time-stamps. The mundane conversation started something like this:

15:19 Neelam
hi

15:20 Me
Hello Neelam, how r u?

15:20 Neelam
haha gud, n u? Read the rest of this entry »

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The hidden social classes abroad – the Fabs, the FOBs, the ABCD

Jul 16

Posted by admin in Culture & Society, india abroad, Most Popular Stories, Non-Resident Indian, NRI | 2 Comments

You think you left the social class system back home, when you left India? Think again! :)

Perhaps, classes are part of our social life. May be this is how society works – one group of people trying to put down the other group while struggling to prove its own superiority.

The Indian society in the foreign lands has its own social classes, its own divisions. From outside, these divisions are not very visible, not very noticeable. This should come as a no surprise to those who have lived abroad amongst other Indians. You may see these partitions less if you are very isolated from rest of the Indian society overseas.

These classes are not based on your last name, cast or creed. Rather, the division is based on your social acceptance among the Indian diaspora. This somewhat hidden division is less visible an outsider – those who are not Indians or not a part of Indian community.

These classes or groups have their own way of looking across this social division. The locals – those who grow up abroad among the foreign culture, have their derogatory term for these new comers: FOBs. Similarly, first generation desis and these new-comers have their own name for the local Indians – ABCD. By end of the day, it boils down to how you look across the pond.

The ABCD:
This class or subgroup comes from the westernized desi society, mainly the second generation of Indians. This social group is much more in-tune with the local (the foreign adopted country) ways of living – their language, the slang and the dress-code follows the local trends. Their life-style is less desi or Indian, and much closer to the western ways of life.

This self-styled ‘cool’ group of Indians is mostly born and raised abroad. They are much more adapted to the society of the adopted country and the local ways of life. They often have a social circle of their own. Read the rest of this entry »

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NRIs – Scattered relations, separated friends!

Jun 11

Posted by admin in Consciousness & Awareness, Most Popular Stories, Non-Resident Indian, NRI | 10 Comments

“At first, I tried phoning regularly, almost every day. Then it changed from everyday to every week-end. Talking on the phone is not the same, and it becomes very expensive. Over the years, I have basically lost touch with most of my friends, even some of the closest ones,” He speaks in somewhat sad tone, with pain spilling out of his words, “I still call my friends, we email more than phone. We still understand each-other, but it is not the same. I am no longer a part of the friendship circle that I left behind.”

This is true for most of the NRIs. We often talk about going abroad; living overseas and we share our experiences in the foreign countries. We explore the pros and cons of leaving our homeland and settling overseas. Whenever there is a reunion or a get together, we discuss it all – the good stuff, the bad side and the compromises of living abroad.

However, one of the least discussed and the most unfortunate side-effect of the whole thing – going abroad and settling overseas, – is the emotional and social impact it has on our psychology. It is probably because we don’t like to talk about something very personal. Maybe it is uncomfortable and often painful to discuss something that was much cherished and now lost.

“What we leave behind is lost forever. You cannot go back after years and restart from where you left. Time does not wait for anyone, and people have moved on. Maybe that’s how it is supposed to be, but there are some aspects of going abroad that I will always miss – the circle of friends and families. Yes, I am richer now, but at what cost, I often wonder.” Read the rest of this entry »

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Some things never change….in India

Jun 7

Posted by admin in Consciousness & Awareness, Culture & Society, India, Most Popular Stories, Non-Resident Indian, NRI | 1 Comment

An NRI’s prospective on the not-so-changing aspect of Indian life

Bigger houses, better cars, western food, newer mobiles….there are so much new in India; there have been so many changes over the last 10-15 years. India, along with very few other countries, is economically growing at a pace that rest of the world can only talk about. The changes are everywhere.

And then, there are many more things that are about the same, same as the old days. If you look closer, the stuff that has not changed much is in fact much more profound and much more important than the economic progress made since early 90s.
The key aspects of Indian way of life that have not changed much include:

  1. The overall mentality is still the same. The way society interacts and overall thinking has not changed very much.
  2. The political power, the corruption and the mussel flexing to get the work done is same old. If you have money, you can bypass the due process and the waiting lines.
  3. The outdoor cleanliness is no where to be found. The trash and garbage is all over the streets, just like before.

    4. Read the rest of this entry »

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