Posts Tagged Culture

Welcome to the world of Holi festival – without colors

Mar 1

Posted by admin in Culture & Society, Entertainment, Non-Resident Indian

Today, India and Indian communities around the world are celebrating Holi – the festival of colors. However, there is a one big difference in the celebrations – the presence or absence of the colors depending upon where you live.

If you live in India, we all know, you can go crazy with the colors if you want to. Dry colors, wet colors, sticky colors, shiny colors, or just plain water if you run out of the colors – everything is a fair game. Friends, foes, families, strangers – everybody is a fair target, well, most of the time. No one minds, or to be politically correct, no one is supposed to mind, if their all dressy outdoor wear is smudged with colors. No one is supposed to hold a grudge if their best dress is messed up from the Holi colors. Why? Because it is Holi, the festival of colors – no other explanation is needed. A rainbow of colors is the expected scene everywhere.

However, in overseas, the scene is quite the opposite; or should we say, quite normal like any other day. You can celebrate the festival within the walls of your own home, or in your own backyard, or with some desi friends if you are lucky to find those who understand the Holi spirits. That’s about it. Your choices are limited. Even within Indian circles, no one bothers to celebrate Holi! At leats not like we used to in India. The Westernized Indian kids may want to enjoy it, from a distance, as long as the colors don’t touch them. Why would you want to look ridiculous in the middle of the day! Read the rest of this entry »

Tags: abroad, Culture, Desi, festival, festival of colors, holi, india abroad, Living Abroad, Non-Resident Indian, NRI, NRIs

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Extra polite or not so…?

Feb 23

Posted by admin in Consciousness & Awareness, Non-Resident Indian, india abroad

The shopkeeper is extra polite when he does not understand the customer.
The listener is extra polite when she doe not understand you and says, “Could you repeat that please!”

People are just normal polite when they can relate to you. But if you are getting lots of ‘extra polite treatment’, that may mean many things, including some of the things like:

they don’t get you
they don’t understand you
they don’t relate to you
they find you different than their own kind
they don’t know how to interact with you…

Or, in rare cases, they are just extra nice people being extra polite, but you can always tell the difference.

The modern day social disassociation is not a slap in the face, a rude remark, or an outrageous action such as asking you to leave. Instead, it is the actions with extra care, with extra politeness that convey the message.

Most of the times, extra politeness is just extra caution people use when dealing with someone different, someone who does not fit in. Read the rest of this entry »

Tags: abroad, bias, Culture, extra polite, Living Abroad, multi-culture, Non-Resident Indian, NRI, NRIs, racial-bias

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NRIs’ misplaced nostalgia of good old days

Feb 1

Posted by admin in Culture & Society, India, Non-Resident Indian, india abroad

If you listen to the first generation of Indian Americans abroad – especially those who migrated long time ago – they paint a very bright and picture of their past memories of India:

“Those were different days – happier times. We never cared much about anything – anything but friendship and good company. The schools were parties – a meeting place where all the good and bad schemes were hatched…”

“All summer we played cards under the big shade tree next to the pond….And, when we got bored of cards, we played marbles, or took a nap on a cot. No air-conditioners could compete with the monsoon soaked eastern breeze of summer days. Those were the days….!”

The first generation of immigrants misses the homeland of India more than anything. In most of the week-end parties or social gatherings, talking about good old day is one of the common topics. The nostalgic discussion intensifies after a few drinks. The memories of childhood, the growing up, the friends back home, the food, the aimless wandering…well, there is no end to the journey down the memory lane, the memories of past left behind..

Yearning for the past is a human nature. We always cling to the memories of yesterdays. Regardless where we live, the nostalgia is nothing more than trying to hold on to the past. The past is not easy to let go, even though we all talk about moving on. Living abroad just adds one more dimension to all this – the living in the past. Read the rest of this entry »

Tags: abroad, Culture, diaspora, India, india abroad, Living Abroad, Non-Resident Indian, nostalgia, NRI, NRIs, past, r2i, return-to-india

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Indian Beliefs or Perceptions of American and European Culture

Jan 12

Posted by admin in Consciousness & Awareness, Culture & Society, Non-Resident Indian, india abroad

India Abroad: Indian misconceptions or perceptions of the overseas culture

The Indian misconceptions or perceptions of the the cultures abroad are closely related to our way of thinking. It is human nature, we always try to understand everything in terms of our own culture. Everything we see, everything we observe, we see it through the lenses of our own culture. When we look at the American or the European culture, most of the time, we are just comparing it with our Indian culture, our own beliefs. As mentioned in a previous article, our beliefs play a major role in how we see rest of the world.

Many of you may consider this as a redundant piece of information – nothing new. Yes, you are right. It is nothing new, but it is something – we still have these misunderstandings or notions that we should remind ourselves of; it is something that may help us with self awareness and as a result, may reduce our stereotype about foreign cultures.
So take this with a grain of salt. Some of these misconceptions may sound absurd, or may sound very true – depending on your personal outlook, depending on what you believe.

Here are some of the beliefs and notions that Indians have about the Western – American or European or Australian – culture.

Not Very Religious: It is very hard to compare one religion to another. For example, in some religions you are expected to pray multiple times a day while in some others a daily prayer might do. The fact is every religion dictates its own rituals, it own guidelines. The religion is a very predominant part of the western society. the younger generation may be a bit less religious and more spititual. If you pass by any Church in America on a Sunday morning, they are jam-packed; you won’t find a place to park.

Drug Use and Similar Vices:Where do we start, may be with some Bollywood movies depicting or comparing western culture with desi culture. ! We may be exaggerating a bit when we say that smoking and drug use is much more common in the Western countries. If you walk down the street of any major US city, you won’t find many smokers in public, just as an example. People are more health conscious now-a-days. The drug use is probably comparable to India. You are not going to find ganja smoking hippies (as shown in some Indian movies) on a corner of every American or European city streets. That was 70s, and the movie was ‘Purab or Paschim’! Read the rest of this entry »

Tags: american-culture, Culture, Desi, india abroad, Indian, Living Abroad, misconceptions, Non-Resident Indian, NRI, NRIs, perception, society, USA

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A not so vain global fashion

Dec 22

Posted by admin in Consciousness & Awareness, environment

The fashions change with time, the trends evolve. The hairstyle, the shoes, the dress code..….everything changes as the time goes.

And, it is not just our dress code, it is not just how we present ourselves, the change is a part of every aspect of our lives. How we address each-other, how we greet someone, how we write, how we talk…..everything is so different compared to when we were kids.

When we were kids, smoking in public was a common scene; throwing trash on the roadside – or in the middle of the street – was not rare; kicking an empty can or a bottle down the street was normal. It was somewhat cool and expected.

But that is not the case anymore. The time has moved on, so has the social thinking, so has the new ‘cool’.

Now-a-days, people dress less formal; the greetings are more casual. It is no longer a fashion to smoke in a public place. You will get some dirty looks if you decide to toss your empty Coke or Pepsi bottle in the middle of the road.

So what is fashion now-a-days? What is the new cool?

Cleaning behind your own mess is considered cool now-a-days. If you refrain from smoking, your colleagues appreciate that – as non-smoking is the new trend. If you recycle your waste, you will earn some extra points from your neighbors and friends. Picking up someone else’s trash and throwing in the recycle or garbage bin nearby is all cool.

So next time, when you see an empty bottle or a can lying in the middle of the street, when you see a newspaper trashed along side-walk, it is okay to pick it up and throw it in the recycle bin. It is okay to remind a smoker in a public park that smoking is not allowed there; a mother with a small kid nearby will appreciate your gesture.

Now-a-days, here in North America, more and more households are switching to fuel efficient cars and trucks. People are starting to brag about how they are using environment friendly ideas – the solar lights, the energy efficient appliances, planting more trees in the neighborhood. ‘Going green’ is becoming a new topic of small talk……

It is the new trend; it is the new fashion that is catching up everywhere. Read the rest of this entry »

Tags: Consciousness, cool, Culture, environment, fashion, recyling

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‘Color-blind’ kool kids of today!

Dec 6

Posted by admin in Consciousness & Awareness, Culture & Society, Non-Resident Indian, Race Relations, india abroad

Fading racial bias and prejudice among the younger generations abroad!

Children make you want to start life over. ~Muhammad Ali

11:50 AM, 12/5/09
San Francisco suburbs, USA
Location: A kids’ party venue

“Rupa, you are here!,” a pretty little girl in red exclaimed the obvious; her curly blond hair bounce as she shakes her head with a chuckle.
“Happy Birthday, Courtney,” said Rupa, handing over the gift bag. The mothers exchanged a smile, and a hello; and then moved inside to make room for the next young guest arriving with another gift bag.

Kids run around in the play area. All kinds of play stations are spread around, twinkling bright lights filling the large play-room with colorful glow.

Every few minutes, a new kid arrives with a new gift. And, the ‘birthday girl’ – Courtney – runs to the welcome area to greet the newly arrived friend. Smiles, giggles, chuckles and innocent greeting fill the air:
“Hi, how did you get here?”
“I didn’t know you were coming!”
“Did you see the big pile of my gifts?”
“You are here too???”…….a joyful and lively chatter fills the big play room.

In the play area, a clear pattern starts to emerge. The kids are getting on with what they are good at – playing. Boys are crowding the ‘boyish games’ – target shooting, hoops, gun battle, Sponge Bob etc. They are running around – play station to play station, bragging and showing off, making sure that there is someone to witness their great performance.

The little girls have their own things going, mostly with the girly stuff. They are attracted to the ‘mechanical pony rides’, ‘matching games’, ‘the make-up show’ and pink swirly slides…… And, some more adventurous ones are taking up on the boys, playing hoops and shoots. There are no barriers, no rules, no bars. Everybody is a busy in their main goal – having fun. Read the rest of this entry »

Tags: Culture, india abroad, Living Abroad, Non-Resident Indian, NRI, Race Relations, racial-bias, self-improvement, society, unconscious bias, USA

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Thanksgiving – More than Family, Food and a Prayer!

Nov 26

Posted by admin in Consciousness & Awareness, Culture & Society, Non-Resident Indian, Trivial Stuff

Happy Thanksgiving

Today – on 4th Thursday of every November – America is celebrating Thanksgiving Day. The schools are closed for better part of this week; most of the businesses close Thursday though Sunday. Everybody is in a festive mood.

The American Thanksgiving holiday traces its origins back to 1621 when newly arrived Pilgrims from England held a harvest feast after a successful crop growing season. For more on the history of the holiday, you can take a look at Wikipedia or search on-line….

So, it is a harvest festival. Over the years, however, it has become a ‘Turkey Day’ – every feast for every family gathering is supposed to include baked or roasted turkey. Cooking a 20 pound turkey is an adventure in itself. There are live help lines where you can call toll-free from your kitchen for free help if cooking is not going the way you expected; the nice ladies on the other end of the phone are always full of tips and tricks to help you out. This – ‘the turkey tip line’ – is one of the businesses they cannot outsource to India or China, at least not yet!

Thanksgiving is the time to thank; it is time to thank God, family and friends. It is time to thank God for all the good things and good karma bestowed on you. It is time to thank friends and family for their support, for their love, and for standing with you throughout the year. So no doubt, there is lots of feasting, lost of family gatherings and yes, some praying around this festival.

The day after the Thanksgiving – often called black Friday – is the busiest shopping day of the year; the start of Christmas shopping season. Some of the best deals and bargains are offered on this day, the stores open at 5AM and if you want to find a decent parking spot, you better get their before 4 AM…..A mob scene at its best! Read the rest of this entry »

Tags: America, conscience, Culture, festival, Living Abroad, self-improvement, society, Thanksgiving

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How to improve your communication skills

Nov 25

Posted by admin in Communication Skills, Consciousness & Awareness, Non-Resident Indian, personal development

The previous post titled ‘What you say? – Importance of Communication skills’ (linked below at the end of this article) covers in detail the basics of different types of communications and their overall importance.

Now, communications – the ability to share and exchange ideas and thoughts – consist of a wide range of skills. For example, you cannot be a good communicator just by being a better speaker, or just by being a good listener.

And, if the exchange is not in your mother tongue (the first language) – such as some one from India in USA – it takes some extra efforts to be good at this. Here are some of the main areas to consider for improving your communications skills:

Know what you are talking about: A communications or an exchange of ideas or the conversation is hollow and empty if it has no substance. Knowledge of the topic of discussion helps with a meaningful discourse. And, if it is just a friendly ‘chat about nothing’ – the small talk – that can also be improved, just read on!

Be a good listener: Listening is the first and foremost part of the communication. It helps with understanding the topic of discussion (‘Know what you are talking about’ step above). A good listener also earns the respect or the speakers and is always in-tune with the discussion. For details on improving this skill, refer to the article titled ‘how to improve the listening skills.’ The importance of listening is highlighted in a separate article linked here.

Improve verbal communications: Along with listening skills, equally important is the ability to deliver the message – the talking part. A good command of the language, a good vocabulary and ability to effectively speak are the desired attributes for being good at verbal communication. Those with mother-tongue (the first language) is different than the communication language often struggle in this sector. If English is your second language, or if you need to improve your accent in the new language, make sure to consider the tips and suggestion in the article titled, ‘A self-help guide to lose your accent.’

Make a small talk: Small talk matters. Small talk is the art of chitchat – talking about ‘nothing’. The small talk warms up the conversation; it can set up the mood of the discussion. The article ‘30 tips on the art of small talk’ has lots of good information on how to improve your small talk skills. Read the rest of this entry »

Tags: accent-reduction, body language, communication, Communication Skills, Culture, english as a second language, india abroad, listening, Living Abroad, personal development, Personal Growth, self-improvement, small talk

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What you say? – Importance of Communication skills

Nov 24

Posted by admin in Communication Skills, Non-Resident Indian, personal development

At home or overseas – Importance of communication skills

“You can have brilliant ideas, but if you can’t get them across, your ideas won’t get you anywhere.”~ Lee Iacocca

“They don’t seem to fully understand me”
“Am I speaking a foreign language or something?”
“How come no body is listening to me?”
“Is it my accent that is limiting my range of communication?”

Your ability to communicate defines you as a person. You can be the most knowledgeable person around, but if you cannot share your ideas – if you cannot communicate – your knowledge may not mean much.

One of the main hurdles in adapting to a new place or becoming a part of the new culture is the difficulty of integrating into the new society. Our ability to effectively communicate with other is very important in adjusting to a new place, or a new culture. In fact, our success or failure in any walk of life often depends on how well we communicate with others. Any business, any workplace, any relation, any family, any society…..is built around communication.

In the basic sense, a communication takes place when two or more people share or exchange information, ideas, gossips, knowledge etc. The main ways of communications include:
Verbal or oral communications: This is where we talk and listen. The ideas are exchanged, the rumors are discussed, a mother sings a lullaby to the little one, a leader delivers her vision to the followers…..Most of our daily communications are oral, unless you are a writer hiding in the basement – writing away your ideas or fantasies, waiting to be discovered. The oral communication almost always involves personal contact with the audience, with some exceptions such as talking on the phone.
This is the area – the verbal exchange – where most of us struggle in a new place or in a new culture. The verbal communications are often different place-to-place, even if the same language is spoken. Every place has its own ways of communicating:

local slang
local style
local dialect
use of local terms that an outsider may not understand

Read the rest of this entry »

Tags: adaptation, communication, Communication Skills, Culture, India, india abroad, Living Abroad, Non-Resident Indian, NRI, overseas, Personal Growth, self-improvement

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‘Happily Single’ – Growing trend of marriage-free single lifestyle

Nov 13

Posted by admin in Consciousness & Awareness, Culture & Society, Marriages & weddings

All young women begin by believing they can change and reform the men they marry. They can’t. ~George Bernard Shaw

Some things never change; human mentality for ever-lasting freedom is one of them!

Growing Trend of staying single and marriage-free
According to the United States Bureau of the Census, the fastest-growing household type since the 1980s has been ‘the single person’. There has been a similar increase in single person households in England as well. If we look around, this trend is probably true for most of the free societies around the world.
Surprised?
You should not be. The institution of marriage has been under attack for a long-long time. This attack is coming from the marriage itself – the attack from within!
Now, what are these attacks from inside – from the marriage and married life itself? There are too may, you name it:

Unhappy marriages – there are plenty of them to go around;
Incompatible marriages – Not made for each-other;
Marriages with different expectations – ‘I never thought we will end up like this’
Drifting away over time – ‘I didn’t know we could grow apart over time’,
The past – ‘I miss my freedom of good old single days’
The grind – ‘I am doing this for the sake of the kids….only for the kids’
Regret – ‘Sometimes I wish I could turn back the clock’
The dead End – All the way to something like ‘I hate your guts more than I hate you’
….And many worse endings…

This should not surprise anyone, right? We all have seen this in our society, in our neighborhood. Day after day, there are examples of miserable or failed marriages playing out in our own back-yards. But somehow, we have all have found a way to justify and isolate ourselves from those troubled relations.
“That couldn’t be me. I can never be miserable like this”. Many have made this kind of promises to themselves. These self-declarations may not mean much down the road.

Marriage – The Compromise, the sacrifice
The Marriage brings reality of married life. And if reality is not what was expected, the justification begins. The justification may vary, but it is often there. Just ask around, give it a try!
You can ask your parents, your can ask your friends. Or if you have courage, ask yourself. If your listen, everybody says the same thing, one way or another: ‘Marriage is a compromise, it is a sacrifice’. Those who disagree are either delusional, or crazy, or single, or newly married. Read the rest of this entry »

Tags: Consciousness, Culture, marriage, marriage free, married life, sacrifice, single person, society, wedding

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India Abraod – The attacks on Indians in Australia

Nov 10

Posted by admin in Culture & Society, Non-Resident Indian, Race Relations, Trivial Stuff, india abroad

The attacks on Indians in Australia continue
The violent attacks on Indians in Australia continue. Last week, another Indian student was assaulted and left unconscious in Melbourne. The Australian youth attackers told him that “in this place there is no home for you”. This is the second published attack in last one week. There may be many more smaller or unreported incidents that we don’t hear about.

It is very sad and horrifying that these incidents against Indians have continued over the months. Since June 2009, scores of Indians have been attacked and are victims of physical violence at the hands of local Australians. The governments from both sides have been addressing these ugly incidents. Indian Prime Minister Manmohan Singh has spoken to his Australian counterpart in the past; external affairs minister S M Krishna has visited the country; and Australia has assured a policy of zero tolerance against the attacks. There have been many steps taken by the Australian Government to deal with all this, but there seems to be no end in sight.

It is clear that the issue is bigger than the Australian authorities. The law enforcement authorities and the policeman on the street can only do so much in this case.

Is the local economy to blame for the attacks?
Many believe that these attacks are triggered by the slow-down in economy. The unemployment is growing everywhere; people are struggling to find jobs. The immigrants and outsider often get the blame for stealing the jobs away from the locals.

This thinking and blame-game is not new or uncommon across the globe. In America, with unemployment exceeding 10%, immigrants and outsourcing are often quoted as one of the reasons for difficulties in finding work. There are many factions and groups, including some media outlets, in USA that openly blame immigrants as part of the economic problem. The main focus in America has been the Mexican immigrants who are blamed for taking away the lower wage jobs from working class Americans.

The attacks in Australia could very well have economic downturn as a contributing factor, if not the bigger or actual rootcause. However, the nature of the attacks, where the students are more prone to the violence, seems more of a general resentment against sharply growing Indian population.

Racism or not?
Now, this is another can of worms. So far in recent years, this resentment against the immigrants and outsiders has been peaceful – non-violent – except these on-going cases in Australia. No matter how you look at the social or economic issues, it is hard to justify any violence against a particular community under any circumstances. Read the rest of this entry »

Tags: Australia, Culture, immigrant, India, india abroad, Indian students attacked, Indian students in australia, Living Abroad, Non-Resident Indian, Race Relations, racial-bias, society, student attacks

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A father’s Pride

Nov 4

Posted by admin in Consciousness & Awareness, Culture & Society, Entertainment, Non-Resident Indian, Short Story, Trivial Stuff

The airline captain continued with his announcement, “….. We have started our descent into Toronto Pearson airport….Please have your Customs and Immigration papers ready along with your passports….”

An Indian flight attendant, who knew by now which passengers didn’t understand English, walked over to Nehal and his wife Geeta, and translated the announcement.
He had already checked their passports – and rest of their possessions – many times during the flight. It was his habit – to worry, to double check everything and check again.
“Look outside Geet”, he nudged his wife, probably 10th time in last 6 hours and repeated the same observation, “We are flaying over the clouds.”
Half scared and half asleep, she ignored him.
“I always knew our son will do great”, he said, trying to start a conversation, his voice filled with pride,
“What is great about dividing up the family across the oceans? We get together only when someone is getting married or when someone dies” she quipped
“Raj is probably waiting for us at the airport already,” he continued, ignoring her response.

A middle class farmer, Nehal had spent better part of his married life raising his only son. He always wanted him to be ‘something big’, something that he couldn’t be – may be a doctor, or an engineer, or a captain…he could never make up his mind. His favorite time-pass was day dreaming, day dreaming about his son being a ‘big shot’.

“I hope he is in good health, he used to get so sick when he was little” Geeta said.
“He was always in good health; you just ran to the doctors even if he would cough a little.” He said with a smirk.
“A mother’s heart…” her unfinished sentence was so complete; he knew what she meant, and how much they adored Raj as a little kid.

To this day, both of them remember all the doctors’ visits they made for Raj, some in the middle of the nights. She used to pray all the time while waiting on the doctor; and he used to watch the doctor, imagining a grown-up version of his own little kid. Most of the time he did not understand what the doctors or nurses said to each other; it was half English mixed with half Hindi. The diagnosis in the end always used to be little things – a common cold, a simple rash, or mosquito bites…
“Thank God, for listening to my prayers”, she would always say after a doctor’s visit – speaking to God directly.
“One day my son will speak English like that doctor, may be better” used to be typical response from Nehal…. Read the rest of this entry »

Tags: Culture, Desi, father's pride, India, india abroad, Living Abroad, Non-Resident Indian, NRI, overseas, Short Story, story

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Karma and Rebirth – The logical choice

Nov 1

Posted by admin in Consciousness & Awareness, Culture & Society, Karma, Religion

This is a guest post from Vanamali Thotapalli, sharing thoughts and views on Karma, Rebirth and Life

Karma and Rebirth is the only logical choice – no more Hell, thank God! This can be proven by the following examples:

A child continues to misbehave in a store despite the admonitions of his parents. Eventually he breaks a product. Do the parents simply forgive the child? Then the child learns nothing. Or do you give him a beating? Use physical violence against a child? In the olden days this was quite common, but today this action might get you jail time! So, what do present-day parents do? Today we talk to the child, make him see why his actions were wrong, have him apologize to the store owner, and then make him do odd jobs to help pay for the cost of the product. This way the child learns the right lesson, imparted by loving parents using non-violent methods. This is essentially Karma and Rebirth in action! If a Hindu were to commit an error but was unable to correct it before his death, he is given another chance to do so in the next life. He is not going to be physically punished, but he is not going to get away with his error either.

A second example: A driver makes an error on the highway resulting in horrific consequences. He dies; the occupants of the other cars survive but endure terrible injuries. They go through multiple surgeries; some of them lose their life-savings and houses, and are forced to live in home-less shelters. Some religions teach that God forgives everyone, but can one be so callous as to enter heaven knowing that the victims of the accident are suffering? This brings to mind some of the henchmen of Hitler who escaped to countries like Argentina and lived a happy life while their victims were left to deal with the pain and suffering.

What if God gave you a choice? Either go to heaven or be reborn and maybe help the victims of the car accident or others in a similar situation? Which option would you choose? For me, honestly, there is only one option. Karma and Rebirth is the only logical choice. Read the rest of this entry »

Tags: Culture, god, hinduism, India, Karma, karma & rebirth, Personal Growth, rebirth, self-improvement

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Halloween: Monsters, vampires, witches, ghosts…

Oct 28

Posted by admin in Culture & Society, Non-Resident Indian, Trivial Stuff, india abroad

Happy Halloween!

Yes, it is that time of the year again. Turn on the haunted music, put out some spooky displays and cook up some ‘scary’ recipes. October 31st is approaching – The Halloween is here!

Orange and black colors are the main theme this time. The houses are decorated with spooky stuff. The fake gigantic spider-webs are covering the bushes and trees in the front yards. The scare-crows are marking their territories. Carved pumpkins with orange lights complete the scene.

The shopping malls are staged with Halloween accessories. Halloween costumes of monsters, ghosts, skeletons, witches, devils….are on display. The ‘creepy scene’ is enhanced with the gloom-and-doom music playing in the background. The haunted attractions combine entertainment and thrill, in a scary way!

The stores are stocked up with truck loads of candy; there are so many different kinds to choose from. Make your choice wisely; think KIDS and you will know which ones to buy; which ones will make the little monsters happy. If not ‘treated’ with the proper sugar, they may brand your place as ‘the house with bad candies’ and even have some ‘tricks’ all over your property – like raw eggs spattered on your front door or on your car parked outside…

Creepy costumes
The kids are busy planning, planning for their Halloween costume. The goal is simple – scarier the better! Fancier the cuter! Read the rest of this entry »

Tags: Culture, festivals, ghosts, halloween, india abroad, Non-Resident Indian, society, USA, witches

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How to change a perception

Oct 23

Posted by admin in Consciousness & Awareness, Culture & Society, personal development

How to change others’ perceptions about you!

“It takes 20 years to build a reputation and five minutes to ruin it. If you think about that, you’ll do things differently.” ~ Warren Buffett

“My boss thinks I am lazy!”
“Well, you are always last to the office in the morning.”
“But, I am always last to leave in the evening.”
“Yeah, but she is already gone by then, she wouldn’t know that.”
“I seriously need to do something to change her perception about me!”

Perception is you mind’s eye:
A perception is how we ‘see’ something or someone in our own mind. The common beliefs or assumptions play a role in the existing perception. Based on many factors including social and environmental surroundings, this is the way our brain ‘perceives’ something or someone. True or false, a strong perception is no less than the real truth. This is how we see things in our ‘mind’s eye’.
Once established in our brain, a perception becomes a part of our thinking, a part of our life; it is hard to change.

How to change the perceptions:
So, how do you change others’ perception about you?
Some perceptions are easy to change. For example, in the conversation above, the boss has a perception about one of her employees of being lazy. That perception can be easily changed by being proactive, by showing up to the office before anybody else does EVERYDAY. Note that to change a perception, you have to be consistent -again and again.

The most effective way to change a perception is to prove it – the perception- wrong consistently. Show everybody that what they believe is very different from the reality. Here are a few common approaches for changing a perception

Create awareness: Let everyone around you know that what they perceive is not true. Share the facts; share the information to prove your side. Nobody denies the facts – unless you are dealing with someone whose mind is already made-up no matter what; in that case, it is not a perception but a deep rooted bias and prejudice.

Build a relation and trust: For others to listen to you and your side, you need have a relation -a closeness- with the other side. If they trust you, they will believe your facts. If not, no matter how reliable your source is, they won’t get your side of the story. Read the rest of this entry »

Tags: change perception, Culture, India, india abroad, Living Abroad, NRI, overseas, perception, personal development, Personal Growth, rock the boat, self-improvement, society, tips

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Walking… in someone else’s shoes!

Oct 21

Posted by admin in Culture & Society, India, Non-Resident Indian, Trivial Stuff, india abroad

Treading the American suburbs, desi style

Like a Swiss watch, her timing is always perfect. Just before the sunset every evening, she appears from the far end of the sidewalk turning the corner.
The sound of autumn leaves rustling under her shoes announces her arrival. The shiny white Adidas shoes seem a bit too big for a woman of her height – about 5ft. 3 inches tall. Nonetheless, the clean and bright shoes always stand out, treading the sidewalk, crushing the freshly fallen leaves off the maple trees along the path.
Always looking straight without turning her head, she walks with a constant and quick pace, the gait unruffled and strides undaunted.
There are always kids playing in the front yards of the houses she pass, some riding their bikes along the same sidewalk. There is a lawnmower going here and there, everyone busy with trivial outdoor stuff. With all the activities going around her, she never look around to watch others, or to say hello, or just to acknowledge the surroundings. As if the rest of the world does not exist. She never strays from the side-walk, as if she seems owns it. She walks past everybody without a flinch, without a gesture.

She does not look aloof; she pretends not to be superior- looks like she just wants to focus on her walk. The residents -mostly white families- chat with their neighbors across the yards, casually looking at her and then at each-other.

“Hey honey, look who is coming again”, announces a young mother in her front year, cradling a baby in her arms.
“I know Tracy, shush; she can heart you!” he looked up, taking a break from raking the leaves off the driveway.
“No seriously Steve! Look, she is going to ignore us again today”
“May be she is just shy!”
“She probably doesn’t speak English,…Where you think she is from?”
“Don’t know; may be Pakistan or Turkey, or somewhere else in the Middle East.”
“You think she can belly-dance? She doe not look the type!”
“She can hear you!”
They both turned to her as she walks by, forcing a smile; but she was already gone by then.
“Where is she going in such a hurry?” Tracy said in a lowered voice, almost a whisper… Read the rest of this entry »

Tags: abroad, adaptation, Culture, Desi, India, india abroad, Indians Abroad, Living Abroad, overseas, USA, walking in others' shoes

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The problem with Positive Thinking!

Oct 20

Posted by admin in Consciousness & Awareness, Culture & Society, personal development

Theory of ‘Positive Thinking’ is fundamentally flawed!

Everybody is preaching ‘Positive Thinking’ these days. You probably receive these fancy quotes and messages in your email. Positive thinking is a fashion now.

Imagine that you are very sick and every part of your body hurts; you are in constant pain, and have no energy to even move. However, a medicine-man tells you to keep smiling and stay positive….
A single mother loses her job, her only means of income for her family. A motivational speaker tells her not to worry, not to be depressed; …. Everything will be okay…..
You are falling off a cliff. Well, don’t worry about your skull about to be crushed. Think positive!!….

Are you kidding me?
Stay positive and be optimistic all the time? Keep smiling even when I know that things are bad, and about to get worse?…

It seems like we are trying to find every excuse in the book to avoid the reality. Instead of facing the true situation, the advice is to ignore it –‘look at the beautiful sun-rise, isn’t it beautiful? Don’t worry even if you are not doing well! Just admire the nature- the moon, the stars, the rainbow…!!’
How could you think about the sun-rise if your own world is tumbling down?

The sad truth is that the reality of our mortal existence does not guarantee a rosy season all the time. Along with the sunny days, we are bound to encounter some storms, may be many more storms and cloudy days. That is how it is; just look around yourself, you can find many examples in your everyday life.

The fact is, you cannot stay positive all the time. You and I – all of us- are bound to go through highs and lows of life. So is the nature of the world; so is the life.

We – all of us – always have something to worry about. Even the kings worry constantly. Bigger thrones have bigger problems – more worries. That is how the world works. You cannot be happy ALL the time. If you are happy all the time, underline this – there is something wrong with your head. Read the rest of this entry »

Tags: Culture, india abroad, motivational, personal development, Personal Growth, Positive Thinking, self-improvement

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Life after Diwali

Oct 19

Posted by admin in India, Non-Resident Indian, Trivial Stuff, india abroad, personal development

How to handle the after-Diwali blues!

“The past is behind, learn from it.
The future is ahead, prepare for it.
The present is here, live it.” ~ Thomas Monson

The Diwali celebrations are over. It is time to clean-up the remains of the burnt candles; put away the party supplies, clean up the kitchen, and rest of the house for that matter…
The left-over sweets and treats are disappearing, at least the tastier ones. The festivities are over; back to reality!

For those of us who are lucky to get Diwali holidays (hint: India), the vacation is over. The kids have to worry about going back to school and deal with the burden of homework once again. The grown-up are heading back to work, the boring and monotonous routine of 9 to 5 jobs resumes. It is a struggle every morning to get out of the bed and face the new day.
Welcome to the real world again, the daily grind!

With the winter knocking on the door, it is quite common to go through this depressing cycle and mood swings after Diwali celebrations.

Now, how can you boost your spirits again? What can we do to minimize the feelings of Diwali nostalgia?

Looking at the bigger picture, there are a few adjustments we can make in our thinking and attitude to help deal with all this. Here are some of the things that can help with the after Diwali blues:
1. Thank God it is quiet again: Think about it. Now that it is all over, you can finally take a break from all the running around. No more chaos; no more decorations to worry about; no more cooking the special feasts. The deafening sound of fireworks is a past history. Read the rest of this entry »

Tags: Culture, Desi, Diwali, diwali blues, Diwali celebration, India, india abroad, Indians Abroad, Living Abroad, personal development, Personal Growth, self-improvement, tips

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A Diwali Promise

Oct 16

Posted by admin in India, Non-Resident Indian, Trivial Stuff

HAPPY DIWALI

While celebrating and enjoying Diwali, you should make a promise, or two.
On this day, you might want to make a personal resolution to:

Try something new, something that is not you.
Walk a mile, or run a few; it’s good for soul, and body too.
Walk in someone else’s shoes; before judging them.
Look inside; the mirror often lacks the full picture of you.
Share something; there is always something worth giving.
Help someone; look closer, someone always needs you.
Travel and go see places, there is a world to see;
Tell a story- an ugly, a good one, and true ones a few. Read the rest of this entry »