Tag Archives: arranged marriage

911 – The Emergency Call

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The firm knock on the door made her jump. Even though she was expecting this knock, the police arrived much faster than she had imagined.

She looked at her husband; he was pacing nervously in the far corner of the living room. They exchanged a brief glance – both of them nervous, beyond nervous.

The officer knocked again, this time much harder. Unwillingly, she walked to the door and turned the knob without making a noise.

A tall RCMP officer in full uniform was standing at the door, with his hand cautiously placed on the gun holster.

“Mrs. Sharma?” The officer inquired.

“Yes… Yes!” She said twice; her voice just barely louder than a whisper.

The officer peeked inside the house before actually stepping in. He spotted her husband standing motionless in the far end of the living room.

“Ma’am, I am Officer Wilson; we are responding to the 911 call….the emergency call” He said; he turned his head and looked around the house, inspecting the premises while still standing at the door.

She did not say anything in response.

“Is that your husband? Mr. Sharma?” He looked at her husband with a piercing gaze.

She just nodded, without saying anything again.

“Anybody else in the house? Any kids?”

“No,… my son…. is at school right now.” She responded quickly this time .

“Mr. Sharma, have a seat if you want, I will be with you shortly. “ He said to the husband as he walked towards the door.

“Ma’am, can I talk to you outside?” It was more of an order and she obliged, stepping outside the door. She noticed another officer standing just outside the door – a female office that walked over to her as soon as she stepped out.

“Mrs. Sharma!” Officer Wilson paused, “We are responded to your emergency call.”

She did not say anything in return.

“Ma’am, what happened?” He asked, this time very affirmatively, almost demanding.

“We just had an argument…”

“And..?”

“We just had a fight!”

“Did he hit you?”

“…umm… No”

“Ma’am, I am Officer Lee. We have a reason to believe that your husband hit you. That is what you reported on the phone!” This time, the female officer asked as the male officer stepped back.

She did not say anything in response.

“You don’t need to be scared Mrs. Sharma! The law is on your side. Just tell us, so we can help you!” The female officer said in a consoling tone. Continue reading →

Plight of a woman in the NRI Marriages

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For decades, this has been a common practice; it is a part of Indian thinking. Parents in India marry their beloved son or daughter to NRIs visiting from Western counties, with the hope and wish that he or she will settle abroad, and perhaps more importantly, help them migrate as well. While India is enjoying the financial boom, the common man still looks up to the other countries as the ultimate salvation for their offspring.

Yes, arranged marriage is still very common in India, and especially when it comes to marrying abroad. With very little knowledge about a ‘funny dressed’ visitor from the west, people are willing to bond their son or daughter overnight, before someone else steals their opportunity – the opportunity of a golden ticket to go abroad.

Marriage is supposed to be a sacred bond, based on mutual love and respect. However, NRI marriages are fundamentally based on greed. It is the greed that results into lifelong headaches for many couples, if not heartaches.

Everyone knows that the arranged marriage is no walk in the park, especially the arranged marriages where a couple knows very little about each-other. What follows in a typical NRI marriage is surprises, compromises and then more compromises. There are lucky couples who can adapt quicker and understand each other mush faster. And then again, there are probably more couples who find it hard to adjust, where ego comes into play more than love. What follows thereafter is a life-long misery, constant conflicts and endless arguments on daily basis.

Indian society, even modern Indian society, looks down on divorce. Many families don’t even consider the option of separation. And once you have kids in the mix, it is even more difficult to separate, both sides sacrificing for the sake of the kids.

The situation is especially difficult for the women who marry a man abroad. The women are more eager to adapt, more willing to sacrifice. Very often, the women go beyond the call of duty to satisfy their spouses in the new land. They often have very few relatives abroad to fall back on, they lack the family support, the support of their own blood. Women are less confrontational by nature to start with, and it works against them. Continue reading →

The semi-arranged Marriages!

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 The semi-arranged Marriages in India

She first met him in the English class in 1994. Not sure what it was, but there was something about him that made her skip a beat. May be it was that young foolish age of daydreaming, but she started to add him into her dreams……
Eventually, they became friends, good friends. Not many family members knew about him except her nosy aunt. Luckily for her, the aunt loved to be a matchmaker, and she took it from there on….
The families from both sides were very pleased with the aunt for finding them a great match….The rest is history.. This semi-arranged marriage…
The change is a part of the slow but ever-progressing ways of life. Based on the demands of the time, the culture and customs evolve; the traditions change. Similarly with time, the marriage concept has become much more relaxed and less rigid. The new way of life and modern thinking have naturally affected the way marriages are initiated. There is more transparency between the families and the potential couples; the restrictions of old days are fading – slowly but steadily. Continue reading →

The Arranged Marriage!

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The Arranged Marriages In India!

It was early 1950s; he had barely settled in the new India after the 1947 partition and the independence from British Empire. The family and friends were preparing for weeks for this upcoming special occasion.
On one early spring day, he decorated his bullock carts and headed over to a small village a few miles away to get married. His company included his father, close family members and many friends.
The wedding ceremony – the religious rite – was arranged at the bride’s home. The afternoon feast was hosted in a haveli – an open air living area enclosed with tall brick walls….
By the late afternoon, the groom and his company were heading back to his village, this time two more passengers on his cart – his newly acquired wife and her family’s maid. During the entire wedding ceremony and the ride back to her new home, she had her face covered with an expensive hand-made shawl that was a part of the dowry she brought with her. He had not seen her face so far but his secret investigation through common family friends had confirmed a long time ago that she was very pretty. Continue reading →