Category Archives: Culture & Society

Rafi – the versatile maestro of Indian Music

Posted on by
1

“I am incomplete without Mohammad Rafi. I used to often go for the recoding of my song, which was sung by Mohammad Rafi, only because I used to like telling him how I would perform on this song on screen so that he can sing it that way. Even he liked my involvement” Shammi Kapoor

This is an understatement that Mohammed Rafi has left a lasting and permanent impression on the Indian music. In fact, Rafi and Indian film music are inseparable.

Just try to imagine the soulful and broken-heart songs from Guru Dutt without the playback voice of Rafi; or try imagining Dev Anand’s movies without Rafi’s songs – ranging from romantic to sad. Shammi Kapoor’s jumping-jack and light hearted dance numbers are impossible without Rafi. It is inconceivable to think of Indian movies of 50s, 60s and 70s without Rafi’s melodies.

When it comes to the Indian Music, Rafi was a true genius. From classical to folk, from sad to romantic, from religious to dancing tunes – he was able to sing every genre with equal control. For every mood, for every occasion, you can always find memorable numbers from Rafi. The man could sing anything, and in any range of octaves.

“Chaudhvin Ka Chand Ho”(1960, Chaudhvin Ka Chand)
“Chahunga Main Tujhe” (1964, Dosti)
“Baharo Phool Barsao” (1966, Suraj)
“Dil Ke Jharoke Mein” (1968, Brahmachari)
“Kya Hua Tera Wada” (1977, Hum Kisi Se Kum Nahin)
“Maine Poocha Chand Se” (1980, Abdullah)
“Yeh Jo Chilman Hai” (1971, Mehboob Ki Mehandi)
“Khilona Jaan Kar” (1970, Khilona)
“Suhani Raat Dhal Chuki” (1949, Dulari) Continue reading →

Indian diaspora info – all you need to know!

Posted on by
Reply

Sometimes, the answer is right under your nose. Sometimes, actually most of the times, it is better to eliminate the middleman and go straight to source. This post is intended to lead the horse to the water; drink or not, is up to the horse!

Non Resident Indians, the NRIs – home or abroad – always have so many questions about the rules and regulations that apply to them. Quite often, they start by calling some lawyers – the lawyers that are always bombarding the NRIs with their monotone commercial during Indian TV shows – the middlemen!!

If you visit the Nation Portal of India website and go to the Indian Diaspora section, you can most likely find the answer to most of your questions – right there, under your nose!

The questions like:

# Can NRIs and PIOs open an account with Indian banks?
# Is registration of NRI marriages compulsory in India?
# What is the fee for applying for PIO card and OCI card?
# Is there a limit to the number of investments for acquiring commercial properties in India?
# How can an NRI or PIO adopt a child in India?
# What is meant by OCB?
# What are the investment options for NRIs in India?

To introduce you to the website directly, rather than cutting and pasting the answers here – you know, horse and water – use the direct links below for accessing the related info! Pick your own dish – all you can eat, for free!! Continue reading →

Greed or Fear … or Love!

Posted on by
4

Greed, fear…. or love – Wandering thoughts on our day-to-day behavior

It is very easy to understand this world; well, most of the time. Most of the time, people are selfish and shallow, restricted by the ‘acceptable behavior’ or social norms. Every person tries to be accepted first rather than worrying about accepting others. Everyone tries to blend in, rather than standing out. Very few have the courage to be different.

We are always so eager to point out differences and how to deal with them. We are preoccupied with ‘differences’ and how to treat them, how to react to them. In reality, if you look deep and far enough, no one is really that different unless you treat them differently; that is, unless you discriminate. Knowingly or unknowingly, we often discriminate in everyday life, and then we talk about equality and diversity – perhaps, just to make us feel better, for our own ego. By end of the day, we are all looking for ways to reduce these differences, forcing ourselves and those who are different to blend in! We can blame this all on our own fears or our own ego.

We are not as complicated as we claim to be. Most of our actions are controlled by one of the two motives – greed or fear; and quite often greed and fear. Most of our day-to-day existence is merely limited to our routine stuff, routines that revolve around our greed and fear.

The biggest shackle to our personal progress and freedom of thought is the fear of rejection or the greed of acceptance. That is a reality, freedom of thought is often suppressed by the social norms. Perhaps, that is why we talk about fantasies, dreams and the perfect world… Continue reading →

Facebook or the fake book life!

Posted on by
2

Fakebook life or the fake life on Facebook!

Yes, we live online!
Going to the mall to hang out with your friends – that’s so 90s, and so boring! Why bother getting all dressed up and putting up with the traffic, the weather and the real people! Plus, you can only meet a few friends at the most at a given time; not everybody is outdoorsy anymore!

Instead, you can chat with score of your buddies simultaneously, from the comfort of your bed. You can scan their latest status, snoop into others stuff, find out what they are up to lately, what music they are listening to and see if they have added any cool stuff or new pictures to their profiles…. Yep, everybody is only a few clicks away, and you can poke your nose into others’ business at your own schedule – whenever you want, whenever you feel like.

It is true Facebook is a great social networking tool to keep in close contact with your friends and family ,and to mingle with your friends online. It is a convenience of modern days that overrides the necessities to go meet anyone at the coffeehouse or in the mall. You don’t have to leave your bed if you are feeling lazy; nobody needs to know what you are doing in real life’. After all, it is your life and you can portray it online whichever way you wish. You can even pretend; you can be something that you always wanted to be but could not in real life! That is what many do on Facebook.

It is human nature; you share only the good stuff on your facebook wall. You can have your status say something elite, something funny, something wise. You can share something cool or something that will make your friends jealous. You can make something up – something that you wish! Even if you are being yelled at by your mother, you can type in your fake status about enjoying the day at home! Nobody needs to know, you can pretend, nobody needs to know real you!!

It is our nature, we like to show off, if we can! And there is no better tool than Facebook to pretend and to be someone else, to be fake!

Nobody admits it and perhaps many don’t even realize that the online portrayal is far from who we really are. We often display and show off as who we want to be, not who we are! In the process, we end up creating an online persona that is far from reality. Continue reading →

Too educated to be kicked off New York train or racism!

Posted on by
10

This one is juts plain weird!
“Do you know what schools I’ve been to? How well-educated I am?” A picture is worth a thousand words; how about a video!!

Here is an incident involving a brown woman traveling on New York’s Metro North train, recorded by a fellow passenger. Obviously, she is telling the train employee that she is too “well-educated” to be told to quiet down and not use profanity on her cell-phone. The video shows the employee explaining to another employee that she asked the passenger to stop using the “F-bomb” in her cell-phone conversation. The train employee happens to be black.

The whole thing is sad and the attitude of this ‘self-claimed well educated’ woman is somewhat strange, to say the least. You can watch the video on the YouTube here:

We don’t know if she went to Harvard or Yale, or even if she is really Indian, but the internet is buzzing with all kinds of comments and interpretations. Noting that she has looks of a south Asian or Indian American woman, the observations range from ‘a plain idiotic’ to ‘a class issue’ to ‘a racial discrimination’.

Here are some of the comments (warning: some comments include adult language):
“…a case of interactions between blacks/browns based on perceived differences in socioeconomic status. Some sociologists do attribute that to “white-washing” and differentiating oneself from “them”…..”
“What we have here is a brown woman who thinks being rude to a black woman is going to make her less brown….”

“THIS LAND IS THE WHITE MAN’S LAND…”

“These INDIANS are coming over, taking American jobs, getting a chance to leave their wretched country for a better life…..and on top of that they have ATTITUDE!”

“it’s really sad that you got thumbs up for your bigoted comment when a) you don’t know if she is indeed of Indian descent and b) she obviously is American yet you’re the kind of mouth-breading cocksuckers who tell people to go back to a country with which the only thing they have in common is ethnicity. She’s a bitch, sure, but she doesn’t speak for women, ivy leaguers, Indians, or wherever the f* you think she’s from. Crack a f*ing book sometime.” Continue reading →

Why Indian/desi guys find white women more attractive!

Posted on by
22

Human relations are complicated by nature; there is always something deeper, something more than meet the eye. Inter-racial relation are even more complex, even though they have been around for ages.

A previous article discussed Why white women find desi or Indian guys less attractive?. Now, ask the guys from India about White woman. No matter what these white women think about the Indian guys, the desi dudes hold no grudge against them. In fact, it is quite the opposite.

So, why is it that Indian guys find white women more attractive? There is no simple answer; at least nobody admits that it is so black and white – or should be say ‘brown and white’!

1. Fair skin attraction – First thing first, it is a culture thing that Indians prefer fair skin, especially on a woman. Many attribute this to Bollywood where almost all the leading actresses have milky complexion, but fair skin preference goes way back, even before black-and-white flicks took over India cinema. Many of the matrimonial advertisements often include ‘fair skin’ mention or requirement. The white women win hands down, if you just go by the skin color. So, this is good first impression, to start with! The fair skin criteria goes beyond the Bollywood actresses, and is common among all India cultures – home or abroad.

2. Stronger sense of independence – Compared to an Indian woman raised in an Indian society, a white woman from West is much more independent and self-reliant. In western culture (Western, as in Europe and America, not as in cowboys), the women have much more say in their personal decision-making compared to India society where families dominate and control women’s upbringings.

3. Less family control - This is more of a continuation of previous point. The indian women are often controlled by the family in many important aspects of their life, including selecting a life-partner. So, the family interference is much more in the case of Indian women, and this is a turn-off for many guys – even by desi standard! Continue reading →

My new home…

Posted on by
Reply

Home is the earliest memory of my childhood;
Where I learned to walk and run.
Home is where I was taught everything;
To stand by myself, to stand for others.

Home is where I took shelter;
After picking up a fight with kids bigger than me.
Home is where I always ended up;
When I was tired, hungry or thirsty.

Home is where I learned the meaning of pride;
Home is where I understood humility.
Home is where I needed no welcome mat;
Home is where I took things for granted. Continue reading →

Hinglish – Indian English idioms and phrases – II

Posted on by
Reply

As mentioned in many previous posts, spoken English in India is very different as compared to the same language overseas. Our Indian languages have significant impact on English we speak back home. The Indian English – combined with heavy influence of Hindi and other local languages – is also called Hinglish. There are many related posts on this web-site on Hinglish usage and Hinglish words, and here is another one.

Quite a few commonly used Hinglish words and phrases are listed in the article:Hinglish of India – Indian idioms and phrases. This is the follow-up, part II.

Adding to the previous list, here are some commonly used Hinglish words and phrases:

Equation has changed :- Relationship has changed, e.g. “My equation with my brother has changed.”
Road-side Romeo – refer to a boys/man waiting near the street entrances to colleges and universities, or to those cruising the city streets in search of women to impress
Rubber :- Pencil eraser
cent per cent :- 100 per cent
Where do you put up? :- Where are you currently staying?.
Wheatish (complexion) :- light, creamy brown, or having a light brown complexion.
Flat :- Apartment
shirt-pant or pant-shirt :- Shirt and Trousers
tight slap :- hard slap
Out of station :- out of town.
Acting pricey:- playing “hard to get”, being snobbish. Continue reading →

Women are better than men at almost everything!

Posted on by
4

“Women Are Better Cops, Drivers, Gamblers, Spies, World Leaders, Beer Tasters, Hedge Fund Managers, and Just About Everything Else.” ~From ‘Man Down’ by Dan Abrams

Well, there goes the male ego! Men probably think that they are better drivers than the female counterparts, better handymen, and for sure better at saving the world! However, nobody seems to agree with that! Study after study, there are all kinds of proofs stacked up against the manly pride. And, many say without a reasonable doubt that woman is better than man in almost everything.

1. Women can handle more pain than men: Yes, there are all kinds of studies including those from researchers at the University of Bath, medical journal ‘Plastic and Reconstructive Surgery’ and ‘Myth busters’ confirming that women can tolerate pain better than men.

2. Women do better in the field of medicine: This is according to studies done in 2009 by the British government with respect to a database of information on all the investigations of medical misconduct or incompetence over a period of eight years. The study found that while 40 percent of doctors were women, 80 percent of those under investigation were men.

3. Women make better world leaders: A study by the Pew Research Center found that when people ranked men or women as superior in traits deemed ”very important or absolutely essential” to leadership, seven out of eight attributes chosen had women listed as equal to or better than men.

4. Women have a better sense of smell and taste: And, they can apply it to just about anything, including beer tasting! Continue reading →

Her Canada size compromises

Posted on by
5

She had big dreams, her ideology was based on truth, honesty and kindness. But that was a long time ago, that was when she was seventeen. She thought she was special; she was born to do great things; she was born to make a difference. But then again, that was was when she was in high school. She barely new the world out there. She never knew that the rules of kindness, love and truth apply differently beyond the walls of her house.

Somewhere along the way, somewhere in the process of growing up, she left her house to encounter the real world. She was no longer shielded by her family and her loved ones. It was part of her society, it was part of the traditions to move out. She got married; her family tied her knot to an educated man from Canada. Not because they knew him, or she loved him; they married her in the hope that life would be better in Canada. That is what everyone thought, and that is what they believed – she will be better off in Canada, far better off.

But then again, people are not what they appear to be. In the real world abroad, things are very different. The real world is far different than the one based on dreams; the real world where ideology is often talked but seldom practiced. Most of the people talk big but do little, she soon learned.

In no time, she was exposed to the double standards as she left her father’s house. She saw hypocrisy first hand – day in and day out. The lies, the deceptions, the compromises – everything was at play on the big stage of life. Continue reading →

Plight of a woman in the NRI Marriages

Posted on by
4

For decades, this has been a common practice; it is a part of Indian thinking. Parents in India marry their beloved son or daughter to NRIs visiting from Western counties, with the hope and wish that he or she will settle abroad, and perhaps more importantly, help them migrate as well. While India is enjoying the financial boom, the common man still looks up to the other countries as the ultimate salvation for their offspring.

Yes, arranged marriage is still very common in India, and especially when it comes to marrying abroad. With very little knowledge about a ‘funny dressed’ visitor from the west, people are willing to bond their son or daughter overnight, before someone else steals their opportunity – the opportunity of a golden ticket to go abroad.

Marriage is supposed to be a sacred bond, based on mutual love and respect. However, NRI marriages are fundamentally based on greed. It is the greed that results into lifelong headaches for many couples, if not heartaches.

Everyone knows that the arranged marriage is no walk in the park, especially the arranged marriages where a couple knows very little about each-other. What follows in a typical NRI marriage is surprises, compromises and then more compromises. There are lucky couples who can adapt quicker and understand each other mush faster. And then again, there are probably more couples who find it hard to adjust, where ego comes into play more than love. What follows thereafter is a life-long misery, constant conflicts and endless arguments on daily basis.

Indian society, even modern Indian society, looks down on divorce. Many families don’t even consider the option of separation. And once you have kids in the mix, it is even more difficult to separate, both sides sacrificing for the sake of the kids.

The situation is especially difficult for the women who marry a man abroad. The women are more eager to adapt, more willing to sacrifice. Very often, the women go beyond the call of duty to satisfy their spouses in the new land. They often have very few relatives abroad to fall back on, they lack the family support, the support of their own blood. Women are less confrontational by nature to start with, and it works against them. Continue reading →

My New Year Resolutions List 2011

Posted on by
2

What we call the beginning is often the end. And to make an end is to make a beginning. The end is where we start from.” ~T.S. Eliot

Here we go AGAIN!
Another new year staring at us, another milestone on the horizon!
It is that time of the year – to come up with the new resolutions and new goals for a brand new year knocking at my door.

My new year’s resolutions for 2011:

To keep my list simple, i decided to update my last year’s resolution list, that was collecting dust on my desk all year.
A little tweaking, a few updates in the red, and we have a brand new list of resolutions for a brand new year.
You may say, how lazy, i say – how efficient!!
To save me trouble in re-writing the whole thing here, I have scanned a copy:

So, there you have it, my resolution list! Continue reading →

Yes Virginia, there is a Santa Claus!

Posted on by
2

Is Santa Claus Real? – A timeless argument and a timeless response!

Source: By Francis P. Church, first published in The New York Sun, Sep. 21, 1897. [The People’s Almanac, pp. 1358–9.] In the spirit of the holidays season and Christmas celebrations!

“DEAR EDITOR: I am 8 years old.
“Some of my little friends say there is no Santa Claus.
“Papa says, ‘If you see it in THE SUN it’s so.’
“Please tell me the truth; is there a Santa Claus?

“VIRGINIA O’HANLON.
“115 WEST NINETY-FIFTH STREET.”

Here is the editorial response to this innocent inquiry from an 8 year old girl, that so beautifully summarizes the importance of human faith – what we believe in or not is totally up to us! Re-printed below is the timeless reply from the newspaper editor, that has become a part of the Christmas folklores!

VIRGINIA, your little friends are wrong. They have been affected by the skepticism of a skeptical age. They do not believe except [what] they see. They think that nothing can be which is not comprehensible by their little minds. All minds, Virginia, whether they be men’s or children’s, are little. In this great universe of ours man is a mere insect, an ant, in his intellect, as compared with the boundless world about him, as measured by the intelligence capable of grasping the whole of truth and knowledge.

Yes, VIRGINIA, there is a Santa Claus. He exists as certainly as love and generosity and devotion exist, and you know that they abound and give to your life its highest beauty and joy. Alas! how dreary would be the world if there were no Santa Claus. It would be as dreary as if there were no VIRGINIAS. There would be no childlike faith then, no poetry, no romance to make tolerable this existence. We should have no enjoyment, except in sense and sight. The eternal light with which childhood fills the world would be extinguished.

Not believe in Santa Claus! You might as well not believe in fairies! You might get your papa to hire men to watch in all the chimneys on Christmas Eve to catch Santa Claus, but even if they did not see Santa Claus coming down, what would that prove? Nobody sees Santa Claus, but that is no sign that there is no Santa Claus. The most real things in the world are those that neither children nor men can see. Did you ever see fairies dancing on the lawn? Of course not, but that’s no proof that they are not there. Nobody can conceive or imagine all the wonders there are unseen and unseeable in the world. Continue reading →

Useful links and helpful sites for NRIs and overseas living

Posted on by
4

Useful Websites for NRIs and Indians Living Abroad

This article is a summary of online information and useful sites related to NRIs and overseas living. Some of this is general information sites that are useful links for NRIs and Indians living abroad.

Most the sites mentioned are government sponsored or official links in USA, Canada and India; similar information can be easily searched for other countries.

Here is a compilation of all the related online links:

Indian Diaspora and NRIs – General info:

NRIs Investments in India and NRI Banking in India:

R2I – Information for NRIs returning to India:

Immigration and Visa information:

Jobs and career related links:

Continue reading →

Pardesi songs! Best Bollywood songs for the NRIs and Indians abroad!

Posted on by
5

The pardesi songs – Best Bollywood songs with NRIs and Indians abroad theme!

This article is dedicated to all the pardesi souls (foreigners) and NRIs around the world.

The ‘pardesi songs’ in this list focus on the situations and the emotions of Indians living abroad. Being away from motherland, being separated from the loved ones left behind, starting a new life in a new country and the distance itself….a mixture of emotions come into the picture. There are lots of patriotic songs and good ones too. However, the ones included here are more related to the unique situations of living overseas, rather than regular patriotic songs. Here are some of the best Bollywood songs that many NRIs and Indians living abroad can relate to:

1. Chithi Aayee hai (Movie: Naam): One of the best songs that directly connects to all the feelings of Indians who have migrated from India, but still miss their motherland. Beautiful lyrics tell a touching story of an average immigrant.
Tune paisa bahut kamaya
Es paise ne des chhudaya….
Pankaj Udhas’s melodious voice adds to the appeal of this evergreen and super-hit song.

2. Bharat ka rehne walaa hoon (Movie: Purab Aur Pachhim): ‘Hai Preet Jahan Ki Reet Sada / Jab Zero Diya Mere Bharat Ne’ is one of the most memorable song that highlights the virtues of India and the Indian culture, especially for those who live overseas. This number has ideal settings – featured in England with crowd including Indians, hippies and English audience. Mahendra Kapoor’s voice and Manoj Kumar’ acting is a winning combination.

3. Ye dooriyan (Movie: Love Aaj Kal) : The song filmed on Deepika Dadukone and Saif Ali Khan is all about the ‘distance’ from loved ones. Anyone living abroad can relate to this song, a number with great composition and brilliant lyrics.
Aa raha paas, ya door mein ja raha
Janu na mein hoon kahan pe…
It has a natural flow, and is a hybrid of modern folk and classical gazal – a lovely song by any standard.

4. Yeh Jo des hai tera (Movie: Swades): This is one of the most melodious songs from A. R. Rahman. The lyrics and the scenes bring out the emotions of being Indian and being away from home. With SRK in the lead and beautiful filming, the song highlights all the nostalgic feelings often experienced by Indian diaspora.

5. No life without wife (Movie: Bride & Prejudice): Yes, this is not one of those emotional or sad songs, for a change. However, this cleverly performed dance number sums up the feelings and the irony of the situation that NRIs and their spouses go through. The refreshing song has the ever-pretty Aishwarya Rai in the lead. It is a befitting satire on the NRI marriages.
Lonely Mr Kholi from Los Angeles
Came to Punjab on one bent knee
He had a Green Card, new house, big cash
Still made a wish with every fallen lash
…….
Poor Mr Kholi
He has no life without wife… Continue reading →