Archive for category Marriages & weddings

IPC 498A – Harassment or cruelty to a woman

Nov 17

Posted by admin in Culture & Society, India, Marriages & weddings, Non-Resident Indian, india abroad

Indian Law against harassment or cruelty to a woman, and dowry abuse

“Section 498A I.P.C. was introduced with the avowed object to combat the menace of dowry deaths and harassment to a woman at the hands of her husband or his relatives. Nevertheless, the provision should not be used as a device to achieve oblique motives.” ~ Justice DK Jain of Supreme Court of India

Many people from India, especially those living abroad, don’t know much about Section 498A of the IPC (Indian Penal Code), nor do they know what to do when a 498A case is registered against someone.
Section 498a of the IPC is a criminal law in which the wife and her family can charge any or all of the husband’s family of physical or mental cruelty. While there is a lot of debate about the use and misuse of this law, the scope of this article is to outline the law.
Here is the famous or infamous – depending on your experiences and views – IPC 498a wording:

Indian Penal Code – Section 498A, IPC
Introduced in the Penal Code by Criminal Law (Second Amendment) Act of 1983
(Act No. 46 of 1983)
498A. HUSBAND OR RELATIVE OF HUSBAND OF A WOMAN SUBJECTING HER TO CRUELTY:
Whoever, being the husband or the relative of the husband of a woman, subjects such woman to cruelty shall be punished with imprisonment for a term which may extend to three years and shall also be liable to fine.
Explanation: For the purposes of this section, “cruelty” means
(a) Any willful conduct which is of such a nature as is likely to drive the woman to commit suicide or to cause grave injury or danger to life, limb or health (whether mental or physical) of the woman;
or
(b) Harassment of the woman where such harassment is with a view to coercing her or any person related to her to meet any unlawful demand for any property or valuable security or is on account of failure by her or any person related to her to meet such demand.

The section 498A mainly deals with cruelty such as:

A conduct that could drive a woman to suicide,
A conduct that could cause grave injury to the life, limb or health of the woman,
Harassment with the purpose of forcing the woman or her family to give some property,
Harassment in case the woman or her relatives are either unable to meet the demand for money or property.

Section 498A of the Indian Penal Code, is a criminal offence. It is a cognizable, non-bailable, and non-compoundable offence. Read the rest of this entry »

Tags: 498A, Cognizable, dowry, Harassment to a woman, Indian Penal Code, IPC 498A, law, woman cruelty

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‘Happily Single’ – Growing trend of marriage-free single lifestyle

Nov 13

Posted by admin in Consciousness & Awareness, Culture & Society, Marriages & weddings

All young women begin by believing they can change and reform the men they marry. They can’t. ~George Bernard Shaw

Some things never change; human mentality for ever-lasting freedom is one of them!

Growing Trend of staying single and marriage-free
According to the United States Bureau of the Census, the fastest-growing household type since the 1980s has been ‘the single person’. There has been a similar increase in single person households in England as well. If we look around, this trend is probably true for most of the free societies around the world.
Surprised?
You should not be. The institution of marriage has been under attack for a long-long time. This attack is coming from the marriage itself – the attack from within!
Now, what are these attacks from inside – from the marriage and married life itself? There are too may, you name it:

Unhappy marriages – there are plenty of them to go around;
Incompatible marriages – Not made for each-other;
Marriages with different expectations – ‘I never thought we will end up like this’
Drifting away over time – ‘I didn’t know we could grow apart over time’,
The past – ‘I miss my freedom of good old single days’
The grind – ‘I am doing this for the sake of the kids….only for the kids’
Regret – ‘Sometimes I wish I could turn back the clock’
The dead End – All the way to something like ‘I hate your guts more than I hate you’
….And many worse endings…

This should not surprise anyone, right? We all have seen this in our society, in our neighborhood. Day after day, there are examples of miserable or failed marriages playing out in our own back-yards. But somehow, we have all have found a way to justify and isolate ourselves from those troubled relations.
“That couldn’t be me. I can never be miserable like this”. Many have made this kind of promises to themselves. These self-declarations may not mean much down the road.

Marriage – The Compromise, the sacrifice
The Marriage brings reality of married life. And if reality is not what was expected, the justification begins. The justification may vary, but it is often there. Just ask around, give it a try!
You can ask your parents, your can ask your friends. Or if you have courage, ask yourself. If your listen, everybody says the same thing, one way or another: ‘Marriage is a compromise, it is a sacrifice’. Those who disagree are either delusional, or crazy, or single, or newly married. Read the rest of this entry »

Tags: Consciousness, Culture, marriage, marriage free, married life, sacrifice, single person, society, wedding

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30 Tips on planning and hosting a wedding

Oct 30

Posted by admin in Culture & Society, Marriages & weddings, Non-Resident Indian

30 Commonsense ideas on planning and hosting a wedding

A weddings is a beautiful occasions. Be in India or overseas, Indian or non-Indian – a weddings bring festivities, celebrations, joy and love. However, along comes the responsibility and the headache of hosting – planning, decorating, arranging, rearranging….The Weddings and the wedding parties are fun, business and responsibilities – all combined in one.

These commonsense tips can be of great help for planning for a wedding, as well as in alleviating the pain of hosting one. Please note that this is not a complete wedding planning check list; you can find many of those online.

1. Season and weather: The summer is the main wedding season. Howvere, consider a wedding during the months of moderate weather – spring or autumn. The off-season wedding is also lighter on the wallet.
2. Plan ahead: Don’t delay everything to the last minute; many good banquet halls need reservation month – or even more than a year in many cases – in advance. As always, planning is the key to execution and the end results.
3. Things-to-do list :This step should also get covered in the planning and the check-list. Make a list of things to do and prioritize. There is a lot to be done. Get organized, you cannot afford the carefree approach of a single person anymore!
4. Guest list: Be realistic in making the list of the guests to invite. Take everything into consideration – the size of the party, the budget, the venue ….
5. Delegate to friends and family: Assign tasks and responsibilities to the friends and family members. You are the boss for now; everyone will listen to you, at least until your wedding!
6. Invitation: Include the event details in the invitation – the ceremony, the location, the exact time for the different functions etc. Give enough notice to everyone invited. Think in months if possible. People need time to lose some weight to look good on camera!
7. Party Coordinator: Hire a party coordinator if it is a big extravaganza, if the things are getting out of control. Professionals can minimize the headache of planning.
8. The budget: Don’t go bankrupt just for a few hours of glory. Fix the budget and stick with it. Look for a package deal - to combine multiple services to save money. Read the rest of this entry »

Tags: commonsense tips, India, india abroad, indian wedding, marriage, Non-Resident Indian, NRI, tips, wedding

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NRI Tips: Commonsense guide for NRI marriages

Aug 13

Posted by admin in Culture & Society, Marriages & weddings, Non-Resident Indian, india abroad

NRI marriages tips – Don’t get carried away with overseas marriages

“Now very often events are set up for photographers… The weddings are orchestrated about the photographers taking the picture, because if it hasn’t been photographed it doesn’t really exist.”~Elliott Erwitt

The main reason for so many problems with overseas marriages is that couples and the families are taking too much for granted – before and after the marriage. Here are some of the commonsense tips for marriages abroad:

Don’t rely on online services for matchmaking: While an online site could be a good place to see what people are looking or what is out there, don’t put you full faith into these online services. Take the profile info with a grain of salt; people tend to lie, it is a fact.

Do not marry to the NRI status: As I stated before in the problems with NRI marriages article, many of the families go for a wedding blindly just to marry to an NRI living overseas. The more important requirements of mutual compatibility are often overlooked. And, that’s where the problem really starts. Don’t marry to the NRI status, but to the person of YOUR choice.

Meet your future partners – in person, and for longer than over a cup of tea: The arranged marriages of 1950’s are so long gone. Get to know the other side as much as possible, at least until you feel comfortable with making your decision – one way or another. Read the rest of this entry »

Tags: Culture, Desi, guide, India, india abroad, Indians Abroad, marriage, Non-Resident Indian, NRI, nri marriage, tips, USA

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The growing problems with NRI Marriages: A wake-up call!

Aug 11

Posted by admin in Culture & Society, India, Marriages & weddings, Non-Resident Indian, india abroad

NRI Marriages gone bad: the issues with the NRI Weddings

“My daughter _____ who is an attractive girl, has done masters in English and now she is working in a bank with salary____. She is a lovable, cute and calm girl.she has great respect of our tradition and culture. Interested persons can contact us at____ Must be an Non Resident Indian (NRI) with legal and valid residence in US or Canada….”

“She has a bachelor’s degree in Information Technology and is just finishing masters in Computer Science; very outgoing, friendly and caring person. She likes making friends and gets along with people easily. Looking for an NRI living in …..”

There is something fundamentally wrong with these matrimonial advertisements all over the Internet and on-line newspapers. Many of these ads are nothing more than fishing for NRIs living overseas. As you can see for yourself, the primary qualities for match-making are often overlooked. What happened to the need for decent human qualities; may be a search for compatibility, honesty or other values? These advertisements don’t seem like for a wedding but more like a business proposition: would you take our pretty/handsome daughter/son for a green card? The greed is written all over these NRI matrimonials.

Similarly, on the other hand, you can also find plenty of ads starting with ” Looking for a suitable match for a well settled NRI overseas…..” or something like that. Being an “NRI abroad” is the main quality being touted again and again. I guess, as long as people are willing to be exploited, there will be exploiters.

More and more problems are emerging with these NRI marriages. The problem is not just opportunistic NRIs, but also those who put their trust in someone whom they have barely met. The personal gains take priority over any consideration for the long term well-being of the bride/groom. We can blame the NRIs for failed wedding, but the fault lies with both sides. Actually, the blame lies more on those who get married to someone just because he/she is an NRI.
If you are lucky, you may find a decent match; yes, there are lots of success stories. However, it is too much to be left on luck alone; waging everything on blind trust and chances alone is no wisdom.

There is no wonder why the NRI weddings are getting increasingly negative press. Everywhere in the news and media, there are too many sad stories of NRI marriages gone bad everyday: Read the rest of this entry »

Tags: Culture, Desi, immigration, India, india abroad, Indians Abroad, Living Abroad, marriage, Non-Resident Indian, NRI, NRI divorce, NRI Marriages, NRI Wedding, wedding

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The growing trends of love-marriages in India!

Aug 7

Posted by admin in Culture & Society, Entertainment, India, Marriages & weddings

What counts in making a happy marriage is not so much how compatible you are, but how you deal with incompatibility. ~ Leo Tolstoy

The love-marriage in India goes beyond the age-old love stories portrayed in the black-and-white Bollywood movies. Some of the earliest scriptures (Rig Veda), books (KamaSutra) and stories prove the fact that the love-marriage has never been a foreign concept for India.
However, these love flings are have been discouraged in the Indian society due to many reasons:

Very protective style of parenting- especially for girls,
Social stigma against pre-marital relations
Love affair are always looked down by the elders.
Cast restrictions and wedding rules don’t go well with love marriages

However, the things have been changing. The society is becoming more and more tolerant with time. The love marriage is no longer a taboo in Indian society, especially among younger generation. The pre-marital relations are growing into a fashion in big cities, perhaps a statement of progressive thinking.
In fact, the semi-arranged marriages have been evolving more and more into love marriages. While the families try their best to stick with traditional wedding, including controlling the bride/groom selection, the new crop is quickly walking towards the western style of relations.
The semi arranged and love marriages have become a part of Indian culture and customs, just like arranged marriages were in old day. The society as a whole has come a long way to accept the natural evolution. Many social factors have facilitated the acceptance of love marriage very quickly, including:

Independent thinking and open-mindedness among today’s youth,
The exposure to western culture,
Hollywood movies’ wide-spread influence in India
Desi flicks from Bollywood that always have tumultuous romance stories with happy endings,
More and more acceptance of inter-class weddings by the older generation,
Modernization of India in the last decade…

Regardless if it is an arranged marriage or love-marriage, the accompanied traditions and matrimonial ceremonies have not changed. The pundits still have their jobs, the celebrations are bigger than ever and you can even hire a Bollywood star to dance at your extravagant wedding for the right amount of money.
Unfortunately, the freedom of marriage and partner selection also brings freedom of un-selecting. Divorce, the word itself considered ominous in India at one time, has become a part of the society. More and more couples are failing to make adjustments and compromises – a key requirement for any marriage.
And, in case of unhappy ending, there is no money back guarantee from the pundits, the singers or the expensive Bollywood dancers hired for the wedding.

Tags: Culture, customs, India, india abroad, Indian, indian weddings, love marriage, marriage, society, wedding

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Hire a Bollywood star for your party: Aaja NachLe!

Aug 5

Posted by admin in Bollywood, Culture & Society, Entertainment, India, Marriages & weddings

Who would you hire from Bollywood for your wedding party?

Madhuri and Aishvarya in film Devdas

Have money?… Looking for the knockout punch at your party?….
Well, look towards Bollywood.
Everything has a price, they say. For the right price, you can get almost anything.
So, what is the price for the Baadshah of Bollywood Shahrukh Khan to dance at your party? How about Rs 3 Crores to start with. Shahrukh Khan agreed to put up a show at the wedding of real estate giant Kanti Govani’s nephew for this large sum of money.

Who would you hire for your party?

From yesterday’s stars I personally like:

Amitabh Bachhan:- I won’t mind watching him perform to the tune of ‘Pag Ghungroo bandh Meera Naachi thi..’ from Namak Halaal.
Helen: The queen of dance numbers..’Mehbooba Mehbooba…’ from Sholay is my personal favorite since childhood
Hema Malini: The ‘dream girl’, a trained classical dancer….

Read the rest of this entry »

Tags: Bollywood, bollywood dance, dance party, Hindi Movies, India, india abroad, Indian, marriage, Movies, Non-Resident Indian, NRI, wedding