Category Archives: Most Popular Stories

The Life Abroad – I

Life. Life is a sequence of seasons – winter waiting for spring, summer-heat longing for autumn. Life is a picnic in the playground, with bread crumbs scattered all around, attracting the pigeons and crows alike. Life is daydreaming and being satisfied with the resulting illusions.
Life. Days spent surfing the net, wandering in the shopping malls, driving to the country side, watching a re-run to relive the past – life is what we never thought it would be.

He was 23 when he migrated to Canada – big dreams, bigger illusions. University of Toronto campus was his home for next 2 years – long sessions in the engineering labs, studying for exams until 4AM… working on the gas-station during week-end… His father, a small farmer in Punjab, sent over money regularly, but that could barely support his tuition.
He shared the apartment with 3 other Indian students – it was cheaper that way, more economical for student life. A few times a week, they made it to the Dixie Gurdwara; not because they were religious, – half of them were not even Sikhs, – you just cannot beat the free food from the ‘langar’ – the ‘common kitchen’. Continue reading →

The fading hue

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The bright yellow saree with flowery pattern clings to her tall slender body, almost exposing her to the imaginative eyes. She wears it, the saree, with grace – her walk measured, her stance determined. Her lips are wide; her smile big – like a Bollywood movie actress, only less assuming. She speaks with politeness, yet determination of a teacher. Her animated hand gestures and a fair complexion can mislead you to think that she could be Italian. Her attire, the controlled manners, and the lowered eyes give away the secret however, that she is Indian. As she walks from guests to guests, she leaves behind a trace of French perfume; she leave behind many turned heads.. Saying just that she is pretty does not do a complete justice.
On her right shoulder she has a flower tattoo – not a real tattoo, no! Her mother would not allow that. It is a kind of tattoo that some kids and teenagers make out of sticky and shiny glitters. She is no teenager, not by any measures except some traces of childish youth left in her heart. She has her own kids aged 3 and 6, a boy and a girl, left for the evening at her mother’s house.
It is a January, a winter weekend. They are gathered for a social evening at her friend house, a mansion actually. The big house stands on the outskirts of Surrey, British Columbia. The sunlight from the west filters through the huge windows accenting the silky curtains that seem to never end, not even when they touch the marble tiles of matching color. Continue reading →

Indian diaspora info – all you need to know!

Facebook or the fake book life!

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Fakebook life or the fake life on Facebook!

Yes, we live online!
Going to the mall to hang out with your friends – that’s so 90s, and so boring! Why bother getting all dressed up and putting up with the traffic, the weather and the real people! Plus, you can only meet a few friends at the most at a given time; not everybody is outdoorsy anymore!

Instead, you can chat with score of your buddies simultaneously, from the comfort of your bed. You can scan their latest status, snoop into others stuff, find out what they are up to lately, what music they are listening to and see if they have added any cool stuff or new pictures to their profiles…. Yep, everybody is only a few clicks away, and you can poke your nose into others’ business at your own schedule – whenever you want, whenever you feel like.

It is true Facebook is a great social networking tool to keep in close contact with your friends and family ,and to mingle with your friends online. It is a convenience of modern days that overrides the necessities to go meet anyone at the coffeehouse or in the mall. You don’t have to leave your bed if you are feeling lazy; nobody needs to know what you are doing in real life’. After all, it is your life and you can portray it online whichever way you wish. You can even pretend; you can be something that you always wanted to be but could not in real life! That is what many do on Facebook.

It is human nature; you share only the good stuff on your facebook wall. You can have your status say something elite, something funny, something wise. You can share something cool or something that will make your friends jealous. You can make something up – something that you wish! Even if you are being yelled at by your mother, you can type in your fake status about enjoying the day at home! Nobody needs to know, you can pretend, nobody needs to know real you!!

It is our nature, we like to show off, if we can! And there is no better tool than Facebook to pretend and to be someone else, to be fake!

Nobody admits it and perhaps many don’t even realize that the online portrayal is far from who we really are. We often display and show off as who we want to be, not who we are! In the process, we end up creating an online persona that is far from reality. Continue reading →

Why Indian/desi guys find white women more attractive!

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Human relations are complicated by nature; there is always something deeper, something more than meet the eye. Inter-racial relation are even more complex, even though they have been around for ages.

A previous article discussed Why white women find desi or Indian guys less attractive?. Now, ask the guys from India about White woman. No matter what these white women think about the Indian guys, the desi dudes hold no grudge against them. In fact, it is quite the opposite.

So, why is it that Indian guys find white women more attractive? There is no simple answer; at least nobody admits that it is so black and white – or should be say ‘brown and white’!

1. Fair skin attraction – First thing first, it is a culture thing that Indians prefer fair skin, especially on a woman. Many attribute this to Bollywood where almost all the leading actresses have milky complexion, but fair skin preference goes way back, even before black-and-white flicks took over India cinema. Many of the matrimonial advertisements often include ‘fair skin’ mention or requirement. The white women win hands down, if you just go by the skin color. So, this is good first impression, to start with! The fair skin criteria goes beyond the Bollywood actresses, and is common among all India cultures – home or abroad.

2. Stronger sense of independence – Compared to an Indian woman raised in an Indian society, a white woman from West is much more independent and self-reliant. In western culture (Western, as in Europe and America, not as in cowboys), the women have much more say in their personal decision-making compared to India society where families dominate and control women’s upbringings.

3. Less family control - This is more of a continuation of previous point. The indian women are often controlled by the family in many important aspects of their life, including selecting a life-partner. So, the family interference is much more in the case of Indian women, and this is a turn-off for many guys – even by desi standard! Continue reading →

The art of elocution

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Elocution – The secret of effective speaking

In movie The King’s Speech (2010), while watching a clip of Hitler speaking in German language:
Lilibet: What’s he saying?
King George VI: I don’t know but… he seems to be saying it rather well….

And, you ofter hear people saying:
“Choose your words carefully; you may have to eat them!”….

“Be careful what you say; it may come back to bite you!”….

Yes, it is important what you say. But equally important, perhaps more important is how you say it. After all, it is not what comes out of your mouth, but how you deliver it. Your style, your tone, your body language….; all that adds up to the actual message.

Elocution is the basis of effective communication skills. Elocution is the art of clear and concise manner of speaking, with clarity of meaning and thought. Elocution originates from the word ‘eloquence’ – fluent, elegant or persuasive speaking. It is the knowledge of expressing strong emotions in striking and appropriate language and with the power of persuasion.

Effective speech has deep roots in elocution – the pronunciation, the accent, the grammar, the tone and the gestures play a key role in forming a meaningful and desired message. Elocution is been considered a key aspect of learning the art of communications. The art of elocution has been dissected, studied and taught in the schools for a long time. According to McGuffey’s New Sixth Eclectic Reader of 1857, the key principles of elocution are:
I. Articulation
II. Inflections
III. Accent and Emphasis
IV. The Voice
V. Gesture
VI. Instructions for Reading Verse

I. Articulation: How you phrase your message and enunciate it, how you put your thoughts into proper words is the most important aspect of effective speech.
By definition, articulation is the act of vocal expression and enunciation; it is the act or manner of producing a speech sound.

II. Inflections: Inflection is bending or sliding your voice either upward or downward. This is where you need to know your grammar. Inflection is the modification of a word to express different grammatical categories such as tense, grammatical mood and grammatical voice. Proper inflection is very useful to express mood, contrast, irony and sarcasm etc.

III. Accent and Emphasis: How you pronounce, formulate and stress different part of your speech make a big difference. By nature and by habit, our accent and the way we speak are always affected by our social surroundings. It is important to understand the right accent and how to use it for a proper emphasis on the right syllables. Your accent is a large part of your expressions and how the listeners perceive you, as a result. Continue reading →

Plight of a woman in the NRI Marriages

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For decades, this has been a common practice; it is a part of Indian thinking. Parents in India marry their beloved son or daughter to NRIs visiting from Western counties, with the hope and wish that he or she will settle abroad, and perhaps more importantly, help them migrate as well. While India is enjoying the financial boom, the common man still looks up to the other countries as the ultimate salvation for their offspring.

Yes, arranged marriage is still very common in India, and especially when it comes to marrying abroad. With very little knowledge about a ‘funny dressed’ visitor from the west, people are willing to bond their son or daughter overnight, before someone else steals their opportunity – the opportunity of a golden ticket to go abroad.

Marriage is supposed to be a sacred bond, based on mutual love and respect. However, NRI marriages are fundamentally based on greed. It is the greed that results into lifelong headaches for many couples, if not heartaches.

Everyone knows that the arranged marriage is no walk in the park, especially the arranged marriages where a couple knows very little about each-other. What follows in a typical NRI marriage is surprises, compromises and then more compromises. There are lucky couples who can adapt quicker and understand each other mush faster. And then again, there are probably more couples who find it hard to adjust, where ego comes into play more than love. What follows thereafter is a life-long misery, constant conflicts and endless arguments on daily basis.

Indian society, even modern Indian society, looks down on divorce. Many families don’t even consider the option of separation. And once you have kids in the mix, it is even more difficult to separate, both sides sacrificing for the sake of the kids.

The situation is especially difficult for the women who marry a man abroad. The women are more eager to adapt, more willing to sacrifice. Very often, the women go beyond the call of duty to satisfy their spouses in the new land. They often have very few relatives abroad to fall back on, they lack the family support, the support of their own blood. Women are less confrontational by nature to start with, and it works against them. Continue reading →

Commonsense tips on investing and investment ideas

The Bollywood Equations

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Common Bollywood equations and comparisons

First thing first – this is a lighthearted post, just for fun. For example Lata, one of the greatest singers of all times, need no O.P. Nayer to mark her legacy. So, take this with a grain of salt, this is purely a light humor, and has been around Bollywood anecdotes for a while. You can add your own in the comments, if you can think of one!

Dharmendra – Acting – Drinking = Sunny Deol
King – Kingdom + Australia – Storyline = Singh Is King
Amitabh Baccchan – Acting = Abhishek Bachchan
Old song – lyrics + Blah Blah + Meaningless Dance = new song
Bollywood Actor – Acting – Shirt = Salmaan Khan
Lata Mangeshkar + O.P. Nayer = Asha Bhosle
Bollywood hero + straight hair + unstraight walk = Sanjay dutt
Dharamenda Family + Melodrama + Hype = Yamala Pagala Diwana
Mohammed Rafi – Versatility – Vocal Charisma = Sonu Nigam
One man + one woman = Isha Deol
Sholay – Acting – Story – Direction – Chemistry = Copycat Hindi Western

Continue reading →

Her social drinking troubles

Ten anti-social effects of Facebook

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There you have it – your own life exposed to the whole world on the internet. Your pictures, your personal info., your hobbies, your likes, your dislikes and then some….everything is out in the open and by your own choice. That is the power of your Facebook profile. Positive or negative – the impact of this powerful social tool is beyond you and your ‘friends’.

In a very short period, Facebook has become THE social networking site. On a good day, Facebook can get more hits than Google – the godfather of all websites. Facebook is a force to reckon with. If you are not familiar with Facebook, you are either very outdated or live in dark basement with no connection to the outside world, and no access to the internet.

Now that we have established that you are in fact connected to the internet, you are most likely a part of this Facebook phenomenon or fad – whatever you want to call it.

This should come as a no surprise to anyone, Facebook comes with its own side-effects, many of them not so social. Here are ten of the ugly aspects of FB usage, the antisocial effects of this social network:

1. Addictive: If you use Facebook regularly, you know exactly how this site can be addictive. Always updating your status, checking on others, bragging about yourself, or just mingling with strangers…. The Facebook puts a variety of powerful options on your fingertips and you are hooked – for hours and hours every day.

2. Intrusive on personal privacy: Many of us pay very little attention to all the information we put online, some of it quite personal. Where you live, your contact information, what you do, where you go…. You may be opening the doors for others to intrude on your life. Even with all the privacy settings, lots of so called ‘friends’ have access to your personal information, a lot more than you may want to.

3. ‘Friends’ may not be friends: It is very common for everybody to have 100s of FB friends now-a-days; it is a popularity statement after-all. Are the Facebook friends really your friends? If you are adding everyone you meet in your school or workplace or online, chances are that you have many strangers in your friends’ list. Some of them may be there just to watch you. In real life, that would be considered creepy!

4. A society of loners: FB has become a place to pass time if you have nothing better to do. Many FB users hide in their rooms and log onto FB, rather than socializing with actual friends and family. Those who don’t socialize in real life may prefer to add excessive friends on FB and feel ‘social’ online. In some cases, the online social networking tool could actually encourage you to be anti-social and loner in your real life. Continue reading →

India through the eyes of my American Classmates

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“So how do you like it here, in US?” This is a common icebreaker they use with new classmates from other countries.
“I love it; it’s fun!” is my general response. After all, I don’t need to complain about my homesickness to everybody.
“I would love to go to India, but am little bit worried about the safety and stuff over there; ….” Some hesitation about a new country is far away is quite normal among Americans.
“Stuff like what?” I like to explore what they think about India.
“Well, it is a new place; plus I don’t speak Indian.” Some say this as a joke, while other are clueless to the Indian languages.
And sometimes, the things get slippery after such small talk! And sometimes, that’s where the snakes, the elephants and other wild animals jump into the picture. Some questions, asked even with the utmost seriousness, beg for a chuckle, if not a full blown laugh!

I like my American classmates and friends just as much as my desi colleagues, well almost. At least, that’s what I would like to believe and that’s what I try anyways. Many of these firangs are my close friends. We eat together, we study together and we goof-off together. It’s a fun bunch of people I am surrounded by.

I am one of the three Indians in our class. There are students from everywhere – Canada, European countries, Australia, Kenya, Mexico and Korea…to name a few. They all come from a very diverse background, not to forget in all colors – white, brown, black, yellow, pink, dark pink…well, sometimes it is hard to tell the real color with all the makeup on. Continue reading →

Top 20 Bollywood movies of 70s decade

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Top Bollywood movies of 70s decade

The Bollywood in 70s was at the peak of everything you can relate to in a Hindi movie – acting, directing, music and exploring new boundaries. As you can see below, some of the best Bollywood movies of all times were produced during this decade.
Choosing top 20 movies out of a span of 10 years, when every year was producing score of flicks, is almost impossible. The selection below tries to accommodate every genre – action, classic, artistic, popular….
So here we go:

1. Sholay (1975): This all-time-great movie needs no introduction; it is one of the biggest hit ever from Bollywood. It is a classic thriller of modern days, a must watch Bollywood gem. The mega cast includes Dharmendra, Sanjeev Kumar, Amitabh Bachchan, Hema Malini, Jaya Bhaduri and Amjad Khan. Sholay is the highest grossing film of all time in Indian cinema. When first released, the movie did not win any major awards from the film critics, but it has a cult like following. At the 50th Filmfare, it received the award as the Best Film of 50 Years.

2. Bobby (1973): The movie is a brilliant combination of romance, music and social conflicts. This blockbuster is known to be a trend-setter in its own rights. Raj Kapoor introduced the genre of teenage romance with a rich-vs.-poor clash as a backdrop. Some of the romance sciences were simply too forward for its time. This popular flick was a debut film for Dimple Kapadia and the first leading role for Rishi Kapoor.

3. Pakeezah (1972): This is a legendary movie; with a larger than life appeal. Beautifully directed by Kamal Amrohi, this movie is a combination of good artistic tastes, lovely costumes, a fluid storyline, excellent settings and melodious music. The film is a story of a Lucknow tawaif (courtesan) played by actress Meena Kumari. Raaj Kumar and Ashok Kumar lead the cast. The evergreen and superb music is by Ghulam Mohammed and Naushad.

4. Mera Naam Joker (1970): Raj Kapoor spent every penny he had on this movie, and it flopped during the first release – it was just too long, with run time over 5 hours. The second release, the re-edited and compressed version, ended up as one of the most successful film of all times. Comedy, drama, tragedy, romance…. it has something for audiences of all ages, including a fine soundtrack. The mega cast includes Raj Kapoor, Simi Garewal, Manoj Kumar, Rishi Kapoor, Dharmendra, Dara Singh, Kseniya Ryabinkina, Padmini and Rajendra Kumar. Continue reading →

Many Indians abroad dating exclusively whites only!

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19:19 Me
Are u okay if I use this ‘chat’ for a blog post…a post on ‘Some Indians abroad dating whites only’ ?

19:19 Neelam
No, not really! Plz!

19:20 Me
my loss

19:20 Neelam
haha….sorry

19:21 Me

19:21 Neelam
may be..you can change the name and place…a little

19:21 Me
I should do that.
Why though?

19:22 Neelam
haha I don’t need publicity..or hate mails…lol

19:22 Me
okay cool, thanks

19:23 Neelam
haha np

…………

“There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so.” said Shakespeare.

A friendly warning: take this post with a grain of salt, if you get indigestion from racial mix and deviations from the social norms.

Well, looks like you decided to read on! The ‘chat’ above is the ending portion of the conversation below.

Now, what the heck am I talking about?

Luckily or unluckily, I ran into someone online, someone who is a part of this ummm … trend! This ‘chat’ on the social network site is a quick glimpse into the psyche of the new desi generation abroad.

The ‘chat’ spans over multiple sessions, you may notice from the time-stamps. The mundane conversation started something like this:

15:19 Neelam
hi

15:20 Me
Hello Neelam, how r u?

15:20 Neelam
haha gud, n u? Continue reading →

The night before Babbu’s wedding

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Loud music, louder conversations, noisy kids running all over – it is a complete chaos. It seems like everybody is lost in the moment. Older ladies are sitting together next to the kitchen, sorting out the sweets and chit-chatting; the older men are sitting nearby – having their own small-talk and sipping on tea.

The younger generation is all mingled up. Some are bare feet, and some are testing their newly bought shoes on the dance floor in the basement, with Kesha’s ‘Tick Tock’ song blaring loud. Every now and then, a car pulls up to the front of the house with neatly trimmed landscape, dropping off new guests.

Tomorrow is a big day for the Gill family. Their only son Babbu is getting married. By the time the sun touched the western horizon, the house is all packed full. The guests from as far as India, London and Vancouver have flown in, all excited for the special day.

Their house in Brampton is a short drive from the Toronto airport. Raj – Babbu’s cousin, has been to the airport three times already, picking up the relatives as they arrive. He is most excited about the fourth trip, however. He is going to receive his three cousins from England, whom he has not seen for a long time.

Around 8PM, a black stretched limousine pulls to the front of the house. It is part of the last minute planned party for the groom and his passé. One last night, he is going to enjoy his single life before being shackled down into the married life. The limo driver steps outside the driver seat; polishes the already clean windshield with black cloth, like a ritual. Then he lights up a cigarette, while some of the elders watch him with a look of disapproval.

The groom and his passé of five friends and cousins finally start to get inside the limo. In the mean time, Raj also comes back from the airport, speeding all the way to the driveway; his three cousins jump out of of his car in no time. Everybody, including those inside the limo, rush over to greet them. There are hugs, there are hi-fives; there is loud laughter. After a quick exchange of greetings, Babbu and his passé run back to the limo; Raj and the three well-dress cousins with British accent follow them.

Finally, a little bit after 9PM, the limo drives off for a night-out on the town. All of them, ten of them all together, are bubbling with excitement.

“Can you take us to the liquor store, please”, someone shouts at the limo driver.
“Okay boss”, the limo driver shouts back.
“Where are we going”, asks Bobby, one of the cousins from England.
“Downtown”, many of them respond back, one after another.
“Downtown where?”….

Everybody tries to speak louder than the rest, as if fighting to have their say. The limo get to the liquor store. Raju and Babbu jump out, followed by everybody else. No one wants to be left behind, it seems.
“Get some Black Label.”
“We need beer”
“Something for shots.”
“Sambuca” … Continue reading →

The Indians Abroad

Overseas Living: NRIs & India abroad