Category Archives: personal development

Self-help tips on minimizing Hinglish usage abroad

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10 easy Tips on how to minimize the usage of Hinglish (Indian English) overseas

Many of us, especially those who grew up in India, speak ‘Indian English’. This version of desi English – the Hinglishis, is heavily influenced by Hindi, other languages from India and desi terms. It is a common habit; and like many other habits, some times we don’t even realize that our English speech is often affected by our mother tongue.

Just like any other habit, the use of Hinglish is not so easy to get rid of. Habits die hard. In many cases, it may take a lot longer to get used to avoiding Hinglish completely. A conscious effort is always required to navigate away from any set routines, especially the ones related to our communication or speaking habits.

While living overseas and away from India, we may not realize this but we are always adapting to the local ways of life. This process continues even when we are not trying. This is a human nature; we are always adapting to our surroundings. Our language, our communication style and even our thinking – every aspect of our day-to-day life is slowly but surely impacted by the local culture and the society we live in. However, this adaptation and change is often very slow. The same applies to our habit of speaking Hinglish, the change is very slow unless we try consciously.

Listed below are some of the most effective tips on how to minimize the use of Hinglish while living in an overseas society. There are many simple things that we can do to speed up this adaptation to local English slang and language instead of continued habit of speaking Hinglish.

1. Be aware of your Hinglish usage: The first step always is to accept and acknowledge the habit. The second generation of Indians who grew up abroad (among English speaking culture) generally don’t have this habit – the habit of mixing Indian idioms and grammar with English usage. If you were born and raised in India, chances are your speech is influenced by your mother tongue.

2. Think of a few fun things to reduce Hinglish usage: Now that you admit to the Hinglish usage :) , next step is working on how to minimize this habit. The tips below are quite effective, but you can always come up with your own plan. For example, you can ask your American/English friends to assist and coach you in this arena. You know yourself better than anybody else on this planet, so think of your own ideas and fun things that would work best for you.

3. Immerse yourself in the local language overseas: Expose yourself to the local way of speech while living abroad. Make a conscious effort to speak local English by surrounding yourself with those who use local English style and slang, not Hinglish. Continue reading →

U SPECIAL – Your FREE ticket to travel abroad

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Not too long ago, good grades and a decent scholarship used to be all you needed to go abroad for higher education. Now-a-days, with cost of studies sky-rocketing, the students are looking for every penny they can get to meet their dire financial needs. Here is one of the opportunities for those who want to venture overseas.

Thomas Cook (India) Ltd. [TCIL], India’s leading integrated travel and travel related financial services company recently announced the ‘Thomas Cook Wings Scholarship’. This is a unique offer for students traveling abroad for further studies.

TCIL is currently introducing various programs under the brand name ‘U SPECIAL.’ One of the main programs – the Thomas Cook Wings Scholarship is a great opportunity for students heading overseas. The students can potentially win an education scholarship worth an air ticket to go abroad. 10 shortlisted students can receive a scholarship up to Rs. 35,000/- each.

So how do you participate in this competition to win the air ticket? The main requirements are quite simple: submit a 2 page University statement of purpose (SOP) and email to uspecial@in.thomascook.in. You can also submit the SOP at any Thomas Cook branch in your city. The 10 best SOP’s will be short-listed based on the following criteria:
a) Correct usage of English
b) Clarity of thought
c) Overall flow. Continue reading →

Desi fundas 101: Education a fundamental driver of Indian success abroad

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The big red letters on the front of our school used to read, in two languages:
In Punjabi: “Vidhya insaan di teesari akh hai!”
In Hindi: “Vidhya insaan ki teesari aankh hai!”
Meaning: Education or knowledge is the 3rd eye of a person.

Growing up, we all knew that some of the rules should not and could not be questioned; rules like:

  • Respect your books. Stepping on a book, even by mistake is a sin. A book never belongs under your feet.
  • Education is your priority number one.
  • Respect your teachers….

If you look around, you can always find many neighbors or colleagues that sacrifice so much to educate their kids. Many of them may not have enough to afford three meals a day, but they damn make sure that their kids go to schools – good schools, including the prestigious schools or colleges abroad.

The same priority on education is equally true for Indian Americans, British Indians, Indo Canadians….and other Indian families overseas. Continue reading →

Run your business like a Kids’ Lemonade stand

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Kifds' Lemonade Stand

They say – if life gives you lemons, make lemonade. I say, start a lemonade stand; or start a business that runs like a lemonade stand.

Why? What is there to learn from a bunch of kids sitting on a street corner or in front of their house, selling lemonade to the passers-by on a hot sunny day?

Well, quite a lot. The lemonade stand has some of the most commonsense at display, when it comes to operating a business.
See it for yourself, some of the common characteristics of a kids’ lemonade stand:

1.Simple and straight-forward: Nothing complicated or flashy – one table or desk, disposable glasses, a piggy-bank or a container for cash and lemonade making supplies- that’s all. That is all the kids need to run their business. Simple but yet so complete, as if nothing is missing.

2. No tricks, no guises: Everything is on the table; there are no tricks and no hidden agenda. Everyone passing by knows what to expect from a kids’ lemonade stand. Continue reading →

21 Topics for Small Talk Conversation for all occasions

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Small talk – a conversation or chit chat without any specific topic – is a necessity in any social or professional environment. In fact, making small talk is the lesser of an evil when you compare it to an awkward and drawn out silence. But, what would you talk about – during small talk.

Here are some of the most common topics to start a conversation, or keep it going:

1. Hello/Hi: A simple hello is good way to start any small talk.

2. Introduction: If meeting for the first time, make sure to introduce yourself. It shows your interest in the meeting, and puts a name to the face.

3. Situation and surroundings: Talk about the surroundings or the venue: ‘Nice place, huh!’ or ‘I like this cafe!’

4. Weather talk: This is all time classic, may be a bit too much used. However, a talk about weather always gets the conversation going.

5. How was your day? : If the meeting is in the late day or in the evening, talk about how your day was, there is always something to share: ‘how is your day going so far?’

6. So what are you up to today/tonight? : Ask about short term plans for the day, or the night or the next day. This is always good way to keep the discussion going. Continue reading →

How to improve your communication skills

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The previous post titled ‘What you say? – Importance of Communication skills’ (linked below at the end of this article) covers in detail the basics of different types of communications and their overall importance.

Now, communications – the ability to share and exchange ideas and thoughts – consist of a wide range of skills. For example, you cannot be a good communicator just by being a better speaker, or just by being a good listener.

And, if the exchange is not in your mother tongue (the first language) – such as some one from India in USA – it takes some extra efforts to be good at this. Here are some of the main areas to consider for improving your communications skills:

Know what you are talking about: A communications or an exchange of ideas or the conversation is hollow and empty if it has no substance. Knowledge of the topic of discussion helps with a meaningful discourse. And, if it is just a friendly ‘chat about nothing’ – the small talk – that can also be improved, just read on! :)

Be a good listener: Listening is the first and foremost part of the communication. It helps with understanding the topic of discussion (‘Know what you are talking about’ step above). A good listener also earns the respect or the speakers and is always in-tune with the discussion. For details on improving this skill, refer to the article titled ‘how to improve the listening skills.’ The importance of listening is highlighted in a separate article linked here.

Improve verbal communications: Along with listening skills, equally important is the ability to deliver the message – the talking part. A good command of the language, a good vocabulary and ability to effectively speak are the desired attributes for being good at verbal communication. Those with mother-tongue (the first language) is different than the communication language often struggle in this sector. If English is your second language, or if you need to improve your accent in the new language, make sure to consider the tips and suggestion in the article titled, ‘A self-help guide to lose your accent.’

Make a small talk: Small talk matters. Small talk is the art of chitchat – talking about ‘nothing’. The small talk warms up the conversation; it can set up the mood of the discussion. The article ‘30 tips on the art of small talk’ has lots of good information on how to improve your small talk skills. Continue reading →

What you say? – Importance of Communication skills

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At home or overseas – Importance of communication skills

“You can have brilliant ideas, but if you can’t get them across, your ideas won’t get you anywhere.”~ Lee Iacocca

“They don’t seem to fully understand me”
“Am I speaking a foreign language or something?”
“How come no body is listening to me?”
“Is it my accent that is limiting my range of communication?”

Your ability to communicate defines you as a person. You can be the most knowledgeable person around, but if you cannot share your ideas – if you cannot communicate – your knowledge may not mean much.

One of the main hurdles in adapting to a new place or becoming a part of the new culture is the difficulty of integrating into the new society. Our ability to effectively communicate with other is very important in adjusting to a new place, or a new culture. In fact, our success or failure in any walk of life often depends on how well we communicate with others. Any business, any workplace, any relation, any family, any society…..is built around communication.

In the basic sense, a communication takes place when two or more people share or exchange information, ideas, gossips, knowledge etc. The main ways of communications include:
Verbal or oral communications: This is where we talk and listen. The ideas are exchanged, the rumors are discussed, a mother sings a lullaby to the little one, a leader delivers her vision to the followers…..Most of our daily communications are oral, unless you are a writer hiding in the basement – writing away your ideas or fantasies, waiting to be discovered. The oral communication almost always involves personal contact with the audience, with some exceptions such as talking on the phone.
This is the area – the verbal exchange – where most of us struggle in a new place or in a new culture. The verbal communications are often different place-to-place, even if the same language is spoken. Every place has its own ways of communicating:

  • local slang
  • local style
  • local dialect
  • use of local terms that an outsider may not understand

Continue reading →

12 Self-help tips for Indians to improve English language command

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Self help suggestions and tips on improving Indian-English or Desi-English language abroad

“Are you enjoying the movie?”
“Simply”
Translated literally from Tamil, simply means absolutely.

There is nothing wrong with the above conversation if both sides know the intended meaning. Now, move that conversation to somewhere in USA or Canada or England, with someone who does not know the ‘Tamil-English’, the actual meaning is lost in the translations. :)

English language and English grammar is a bit tricky for those who are not used to it, for those with English as a second language. The basic mistakes we make are when we ‘think’ in our mother-tongue, and then translate in our head (Many of us say ‘translate in my mind :) ), and then speak in ‘translated’ English. Here are some self-help tips on improving desi English overseas:

1. Knowing and Having – the problem of the progressive tense: many Indians often translate and speak with excessive and often inappropriate use of progressive verb form.

For example, consider this:
“I am having a fever.”
“I am having a small family”
“I am knowing that you are having a party without sending me invitation.”

Of course, the correct way of saying is:
“I have a fever”
“I have a small family”
“I know you are having a party without inviting me.”

2. Isn’t it – The tag question: We tend to use ‘isn’t it’ without any discrimination. :) . It is a habit, but not a good one – everything is not it.

For example:
“Those are lovely flowers, isn’t it?”
“She is so pretty, isn’t it?”

The correct version, of course, is:
“Those are lovely flowers, aren’t they?” Make sure to refer to plural ‘flowers’ as ‘are’ not ‘is’.
“She is so pretty, isn’t she?” Make sure to refer to her as ‘she’ not ‘it’

3.The Royal treatment – the big word syndrome:
The Indian English dialects have originally evolved during and after the colonial rule of Britain in India. We tend to use the royal and big word in day to day speech; such usage is not common in western day-to-day English, especially in the spoken English.

For example:
That is a magnificent idea!
That is a splendid look!

It is not wrong, but more suitable conversation may be:
That is a great idea!
That is beautiful!

4. ‘But’ or ‘only’ to stress a point: That is another thing. We use ‘but’ and ‘only’ to stress. Consider this Indian way of saying, not correct grammatically:

It was he only who broke the glass.
She was just joking but.
She did not go only.

You could say it better such as:
He broke the glass. Or, It was he who broke the glass. ( the stress is on ‘He’)
She was only joking.
In the end, she did not go.

5. Mr. Smith and Mrs. Johnson – Showing respect by using last name: In India, it is cultural thing that we shy away from using first name for our elders, or our superiors at work. However, Western culture is much more informal when it comes to addressing each-other. So it is okay to call your boss by his/her first name, it is okay to call someone much older than you by first name.
If your Boss is John Davis, it is okay to call him John, instead of Mr. Davis.

6. Uncle and Auntie for friends’ parents – NOT: Continue reading →

How to change a perception

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How to change others’ perceptions about you!

“It takes 20 years to build a reputation and five minutes to ruin it. If you think about that, you’ll do things differently.” ~ Warren Buffett

“My boss thinks I am lazy!”
“Well, you are always last to the office in the morning.”
“But, I am always last to leave in the evening.”
“Yeah, but she is already gone by then, she wouldn’t know that.”
“I seriously need to do something to change her perception about me!”

Perception is you mind’s eye:
A perception is how we ‘see’ something or someone in our own mind. The common beliefs or assumptions play a role in the existing perception. Based on many factors including social and environmental surroundings, this is the way our brain ‘perceives’ something or someone. True or false, a strong perception is no less than the real truth. This is how we see things in our ‘mind’s eye’.
Once established in our brain, a perception becomes a part of our thinking, a part of our life; it is hard to change.

How to change the perceptions:
So, how do you change others’ perception about you?
Some perceptions are easy to change. For example, in the conversation above, the boss has a perception about one of her employees of being lazy. That perception can be easily changed by being proactive, by showing up to the office before anybody else does EVERYDAY. Note that to change a perception, you have to be consistent -again and again.

The most effective way to change a perception is to prove it – the perception- wrong consistently. Show everybody that what they believe is very different from the reality. Here are a few common approaches for changing a perception

Create awareness: Let everyone around you know that what they perceive is not true. Share the facts; share the information to prove your side. Nobody denies the facts – unless you are dealing with someone whose mind is already made-up no matter what; in that case, it is not a perception but a deep rooted bias and prejudice.

Build a relation and trust: For others to listen to you and your side, you need have a relation -a closeness- with the other side. If they trust you, they will believe your facts. If not, no matter how reliable your source is, they won’t get your side of the story. Continue reading →

The problem with Positive Thinking!

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Theory of ‘Positive Thinking’ is fundamentally flawed!

Everybody is preaching ‘Positive Thinking’ these days. You probably receive these fancy quotes and messages in your email. Positive thinking is a fashion now.

Imagine that you are very sick and every part of your body hurts; you are in constant pain, and have no energy to even move. However, a medicine-man tells you to keep smiling and stay positive….
A single mother loses her job, her only means of income for her family. A motivational speaker tells her not to worry, not to be depressed; …. Everything will be okay…..
You are falling off a cliff. Well, don’t worry about your skull about to be crushed. Think positive!!….

Are you kidding me?
Stay positive and be optimistic all the time? Keep smiling even when I know that things are bad, and about to get worse?…

It seems like we are trying to find every excuse in the book to avoid the reality. Instead of facing the true situation, the advice is to ignore it –‘look at the beautiful sun-rise, isn’t it beautiful? Don’t worry even if you are not doing well! Just admire the nature- the moon, the stars, the rainbow…!!’
How could you think about the sun-rise if your own world is tumbling down?

The sad truth is that the reality of our mortal existence does not guarantee a rosy season all the time. Along with the sunny days, we are bound to encounter some storms, may be many more storms and cloudy days. That is how it is; just look around yourself, you can find many examples in your everyday life.

The fact is, you cannot stay positive all the time. You and I – all of us- are bound to go through highs and lows of life. So is the nature of the world; so is the life.

We – all of us – always have something to worry about. Even the kings worry constantly. Bigger thrones have bigger problems – more worries. That is how the world works. You cannot be happy ALL the time. If you are happy all the time, underline this – there is something wrong with your head. Continue reading →

Life after Diwali

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How to handle the after-Diwali blues! :(

“The past is behind, learn from it.
The future is ahead, prepare for it.
The present is here, live it.” ~ Thomas Monson

The Diwali celebrations are over. It is about time to clean-up the remains of the burnt candles, put away the party supplies, tidy up the kitchen and rest of the house….

The left-over sweets and treats are disappearing, at least the tastier ones. The festivities are over; back to reality!

For those of us who are lucky to get Diwali holidays or time off, the vacation is over. The kids have to focus back on the school and deal with the burden of homework once again. The grown-up are heading back to work; the boring and monotonous routine of 9 to 5 jobs resumes. It is a struggle every morning to get out of the bed and face the new day.

Welcome to the real world again, the daily grind!

With the winter knocking on the door, it is not uncommon to go through this depressing cycle and mood swings after Diwali celebrations.

Now, how can you boost your spirits again? What can we do to minimize the Diwali nostalgia?

Well, to help deal with this post Diwali syndromes, there are a few adjustments we can make in our thinking and the attitude. To help with the after Diwali blues, here are some of the changes you may want to focus on:

1. Thank God it is quiet again: Think about it. Now that it is all over, you can finally take a break from all the running around. No more chaos; no more decorations to worry about; no more cooking the special feasts. The deafening sound of loud music and fireworks is a past history. Continue reading →

15 Tips on how to make a lasting first impression

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“It is only shallow people who do not judge by appearances” ~Oscar Wilde

The first impression is what others perceive or think of you as soon as they first see you. The first impression matters; it is part of human nature to judge a book by its cover.
So, what can you do to leave a good and lasting first impression? Here are a few tips:
1. Be punctual: Be on time, always. Let the other person or other party know if you will be running late. Making others wait is considered rude, and it leaves a bad first impression!
2. Appearance and Dress code: Dress the way you want to present yourself for a given occasion. Your appearance – head to toe – matters. It includes the dress, the hair, the body-language…
3. Introduce yourself: Introduce yourself first, shake hand warmly. A hug is okay if you are sure that the other person won’t mind, or if it is a part of the culture or tradition. Continue reading →

10 Simple but useful life lessons from Gandhi

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Simple but very useful tips from Gandhi’s life

It is unwise to be too sure of one’s own wisdom. It is healthy to be reminded that the strongest might weaken and the wisest might err. ~ Mahatma Gandhi

Mahatma Gandhi

Mahatma Gandhi

Today is Mahatma Gandhi’s Birthday. On this day, here are a few simple things and life lessons that we can learn from his life:

1. Discipline in diet to control/lose weight: Looking for a way to maintain healthy weight? According to most of the studies done, the body weight is most dependent on our eating and dietary habits. Have a will-power to say no to the food, even the yummy ones! Find a cause and fast for it, like Gandhi did! May be not to the same extremes, but you got the idea, right? :)

2. Believe in the power of simple logic: Want to succeed in something? – Then work hard for it. Want to get something done? -Just do it! We complicate our lives for no reason. Keep it simple!

3. Be kind and caring: Don’t bully anybody; be kind to one and all. Don’t harm others – humans or animals; don’t hurt anyone’s feelings…. All this is also good for our own peace of mind, keeps everybody around us happy, and makes us more conscious as a human being. Continue reading →

How to improve the listening skills!

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Active Listening: How to become a better listener

Listening skills are very critical for meaningful and fruitful communications. But it is easier said than done :) !

“Are you listening?”
We have heard this so many times growing up, many times form our teachers, more time from our parents and siblings. It sounds simple, but listening is not an easy skill to master. It takes patience to listen; it takes practice to be a good listener. It is human nature, we love talking more than listening.
Of course, this article is about active listening; not about random hearing, or casual listening- such as listening to our favorite music etc.

“Did you hear something?”
“Yes”
“What was it?”
“Somebody talking at the door”
“About what?”
“Don’t know”
“What you mean?”
“Oh, I didn’t pay attention; I wasn’t listening!”…

It takes conscious effort to be a good listener. It is commonly said that we become better listener with age. Now, lets us not wait on grey hair and beyond :) !

There are a few key things that we can proactively do to be better at listening:

Pay attention: Well, no surprises here. Paying attention to the speaker is first and foremost requirement. Lack of attention span is one of the biggest problems with poor listening. If we don’t make an effort, it is very common to drift into our own world, especially if the ‘talk’ or the topic is not of our interest.

Eye contact: The eye-contact helps with connecting to the person speaking. It helps understand where the speaker is coming from. The eye-contact also helps with improvement to attention span, and ‘staying’ with the speaker.

Avoid distractions: Avoid any kinds of distractions. Loud noise in the back-ground, cell-phone ringing or someone else talking at the same time can easily affect the ability to listen to the intended conversation. Continue reading →

Importance of being a good listener!

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Pay attention, and listen up! :)

“Most of the successful people I’ve known are the ones who do more listening than talking.” ~ Bernard M. Baruch

“Did you hear what I say?”
“Yeah”
“What did I say?”
“Can your say it again…I wasn’t listening..”
“Now, listen up and pay attention!”….

Ask any parent or school teacher, it takes lots of effort to get your point across, or get some-one’s undivided attention. The fact is, listening skill is not that simple, or natural. Our mind always tends to wander off. It takes a conscious effort to be a good listener.
Now, we all know some good talkers in our families and friends who always have something to say. However, good talkers are not always good communicators. In fact, listening is equally, if not more, important for effective communications.

The listening skills are very important for anyone who is serious about personal development and improving the communications skills. Listening is even more important if English (or the language of conversation) is not your mother tongue.
Here are some of the key benefits of being a good listener:
1. Key to communication: Listening is important part of any conversation. It helps to better understand the view point of the other party or the speaker. More than half of the conversation or communication is paying attention to and understanding the other side.

2. Shows maturity and respect: It shows maturity and respect to the speaker or the other parties involved in the conversation. Constantly interrupting without listening never leads to a meaningful and enlightening conversation.

3. The healing power: Most of us generally have a friend or family member that we can call whenever we need to vent or express any frustration. It is generally someone who is willing to ‘listen’ to us and put-up with our emotional out-pour or complaining even if he or she has nothing to do with the situation. It is not that we desperately need advice; sometimes, we just need someone who can listen to us. A good listener can always provide emotional support and has a healing power; it is a god sent gift to be a good listener. The gift of listening certainly deserves more credit than it receives in our daily lives. Continue reading →