Home is the earliest memory of my childhood;
Where I learned to walk and run.
Home is where I was taught everything;
To stand by myself, to stand for others.
Home is where I took shelter;
After picking up a fight with kids bigger than me.
Home is where I always ended up;
When I was tired, hungry or thirsty.
Home is where I learned the meaning of pride;
Home is where I understood humility.
Home is where I needed no welcome mat;
Home is where I took things for granted. Continue reading
Ten tip on how to improve your body language
The body language plays a key role in day-to-day communication. Body language includes non-verbal communication such as body posture, gestures, facial expressions and eye movements.
Depending on the circumstances and who you talk to, the body language will differ. However, here are some important tips on how to improve your body language for effective communication:
1. Make eye contact, but don’t stare: Make eye contact while speaking or listening but not too much. Too much eye contact may look like staring and may distract the other person. You can find a happy medium with practice.
2. Relax your body, don’t fidget: Relax, don’t be nervous. Maintain a relaxed pose instead of all stiffened up. Avoid or minimize fidgety movement and nervous ticks. Do not shake your leg or tap your fingers against some surface.
3. Maintain some distance: In many cultures, people get too close or even all touchy feely. If other person starts to step back, you will know that you are invading his/her space. You can lean forward to make a point or listen, but don’t be in other person’s face.
4. Smile: Smile when you meet someone or when you start a new conversation. Don’t be overly serious all the time. Smile frequently to show a likable attitude. However, don’t maintain a constant smile on your face, it may look fake. You can laugh if it makes sense but too much laughing may look odd.
5. Hand gesture: Use your hand gestures to stress your points or opinion but don’t overdo it to the point that your gestures become distraction.
6. Don’t cross your arms or legs: Crossing your arms all the time makes you look too defensive. This is habit in some cultures and you can improve upon it by practicing.
7. Mirror: If you mirror other person’s body language during a conversation subconsciously, it means that you are connecting. You can use reverse thinking and consciously try to mirror the other person to show that you are connecting. You have to be sincere, however; otherwise it will look fake and odd. Continue reading
Elocution – The secret of effective speaking
In movie The King’s Speech (2010), while watching a clip of Hitler speaking in German language:
Lilibet: What’s he saying?
King George VI: I don’t know but… he seems to be saying it rather well….
And, you ofter hear people saying:
“Choose your words carefully; you may have to eat them!”….
“Be careful what you say; it may come back to bite you!”….
Yes, it is important what you say. But equally important, perhaps more important is how you say it. After all, it is not what comes out of your mouth, but how you deliver it. Your style, your tone, your body language….; all that adds up to the actual message.
Elocution is the basis of effective communication skills. Elocution is the art of clear and concise manner of speaking, with clarity of meaning and thought. Elocution originates from the word ‘eloquence’ – fluent, elegant or persuasive speaking. It is the knowledge of expressing strong emotions in striking and appropriate language and with the power of persuasion.
Effective speech has deep roots in elocution – the pronunciation, the accent, the grammar, the tone and the gestures play a key role in forming a meaningful and desired message. Elocution is been considered a key aspect of learning the art of communications. The art of elocution has been dissected, studied and taught in the schools for a long time. According to McGuffey’s New Sixth Eclectic Reader of 1857, the key principles of elocution are:
I. Articulation
II. Inflections
III. Accent and Emphasis
IV. The Voice
V. Gesture
VI. Instructions for Reading Verse
I. Articulation: How you phrase your message and enunciate it, how you put your thoughts into proper words is the most important aspect of effective speech.
By definition, articulation is the act of vocal expression and enunciation; it is the act or manner of producing a speech sound.
II. Inflections: Inflection is bending or sliding your voice either upward or downward. This is where you need to know your grammar. Inflection is the modification of a word to express different grammatical categories such as tense, grammatical mood and grammatical voice. Proper inflection is very useful to express mood, contrast, irony and sarcasm etc.
III. Accent and Emphasis: How you pronounce, formulate and stress different part of your speech make a big difference. By nature and by habit, our accent and the way we speak are always affected by our social surroundings. It is important to understand the right accent and how to use it for a proper emphasis on the right syllables. Your accent is a large part of your expressions and how the listeners perceive you, as a result. Continue reading
“Women Are Better Cops, Drivers, Gamblers, Spies, World Leaders, Beer Tasters, Hedge Fund Managers, and Just About Everything Else.” ~From ‘Man Down’ by Dan Abrams
Well, there goes the male ego! Men probably think that they are better drivers than the female counterparts, better handymen, and for sure better at saving the world! However, nobody seems to agree with that! Study after study, there are all kinds of proofs stacked up against the manly pride. And, many say without a reasonable doubt that woman is better than man in almost everything.
1. Women can handle more pain than men: Yes, there are all kinds of studies including those from researchers at the University of Bath, medical journal ‘Plastic and Reconstructive Surgery’ and ‘Myth busters’ confirming that women can tolerate pain better than men.
2. Women do better in the field of medicine: This is according to studies done in 2009 by the British government with respect to a database of information on all the investigations of medical misconduct or incompetence over a period of eight years. The study found that while 40 percent of doctors were women, 80 percent of those under investigation were men.
3. Women make better world leaders: A study by the Pew Research Center found that when people ranked men or women as superior in traits deemed ”very important or absolutely essential” to leadership, seven out of eight attributes chosen had women listed as equal to or better than men.
4. Women have a better sense of smell and taste: And, they can apply it to just about anything, including beer tasting! Continue reading
For decades, this has been a common practice; it is a part of Indian thinking. Parents in India marry their beloved son or daughter to NRIs visiting from Western counties, with the hope and wish that he or she will settle abroad, and perhaps more importantly, help them migrate as well. While India is enjoying the financial boom, the common man still looks up to the other countries as the ultimate salvation for their offspring.
Yes, arranged marriage is still very common in India, and especially when it comes to marrying abroad. With very little knowledge about a ‘funny dressed’ visitor from the west, people are willing to bond their son or daughter overnight, before someone else steals their opportunity – the opportunity of a golden ticket to go abroad.
Marriage is supposed to be a sacred bond, based on mutual love and respect. However, NRI marriages are fundamentally based on greed. It is the greed that results into lifelong headaches for many couples, if not heartaches.
Everyone knows that the arranged marriage is no walk in the park, especially the arranged marriages where a couple knows very little about each-other. What follows in a typical NRI marriage is surprises, compromises and then more compromises. There are lucky couples who can adapt quicker and understand each other mush faster. And then again, there are probably more couples who find it hard to adjust, where ego comes into play more than love. What follows thereafter is a life-long misery, constant conflicts and endless arguments on daily basis.
Indian society, even modern Indian society, looks down on divorce. Many families don’t even consider the option of separation. And once you have kids in the mix, it is even more difficult to separate, both sides sacrificing for the sake of the kids.
The situation is especially difficult for the women who marry a man abroad. The women are more eager to adapt, more willing to sacrifice. Very often, the women go beyond the call of duty to satisfy their spouses in the new land. They often have very few relatives abroad to fall back on, they lack the family support, the support of their own blood. Women are less confrontational by nature to start with, and it works against them. Continue reading
Commonsense tips on investing while living home or abroad
“It is a wise man who lives with money in the bank, it is a fool who dies that way.” ~ French Proverb
No matter where you live, the financial planning and investment approach is not much different. By end of the day, the general goal is:
This article is based on the personal experiences in investing, no formal education in investing or financial planning here. DO NOT base your investment decisions solely on these tips. This is a simple advice from one investor to another. Your situation and circumstances may vary, so this may not apply to everyone.
These are some of the useful and commonsense tips on investing:
1. Save: Yes, the first principle to maximize your net capital or net portfolio is to save. The saving does not always mean being overly frugal or cutting down on the basic needs like food consumptions (while that may not be a bad idea in many cases). Consider eliminating the unnecessary spending and waste. ‘50 tips on saving’ is good article if you are looking for ideas on how to save.
2. Emergency fund: Before investing, it is always a good idea to have emergency fund that you can draw on, in case of emergency – such as loss of employment. Many suggest that you should have enough money readily available so you and your family can live off it for at least six months. Many other suggest having enough emergency funds for a full one year. Based on personal situation, decide on the size of the emergency fund. This money can sit in the savings accounts or other low risk options like short term certificates of deposits or low risk money market funds etc.
3. Understand your risk tolerance: Now, you may see advertisements boasting something like “double your money in x months with no risk”. Well, there is no such thing as ‘no risk’ when it come to investing. There are low risk alternatives or what many call ‘conservative approach’ to investment, but there is always some sort of risk. There is always a possibility that you may lose your shirt in many investments. So, make sure you understand the downside; make sure you can tolerate the short term or long term fluctuations in your investment choices.
4. Diversify: Diversification is one of the main methods used to minimize the overall risk of an investment portfolio. In other words, don’t put all your eggs in one basket. Stocks, mutual funds, real estate, precious metals like gold and silver – there are different choices to investments. Even within stocks and mutual funds, there are categories based on different company size and different countries etc. Before investing, it is not a bad idea to understand the diversification options that suits your situation. Continue reading
Those of us raised in India speak a very different English than the one spoken in Europe or North America or Australia. And it is natural, we are creations of our surroundings, we are always influenced by our mother tongue. As a result, the influence of Hindi language is naturally present in our English speech, hence the term Hinglish.
On this site – The Indians Abroad, there are quite a few articles that address the usage of Hinglish and how to minimize it. Speaking Hinglish is not a mistake or something to be overly concerned about, it is just a habit – the way we speak in our own neighborhood. Think about it, even Australian spoken English is far different than the American English. The local factors and the local slang are bound to influence the way we speak.
Hinglish usage is quite common in India, it is natural. No one cares, and no one should, as long as two parties can understand each-other. However, when we speak the same Hinglish abroad, not everybody is able to understand or comprehend the complete meaning, especially for those who are not familiar with desi terms and desi idioms.
This article is a compilation of previously written articles on topics related to language barriers abroad and the Hinglish usage. Rather than re-writing the whole summary, following links are a good start on how to minimize the use of Hinglish and what are the best approaches to adapt to the local speech while living abroad.
The wandering thoughts – the home abroad
It is human nature – we are always thinking, often wandering in our own thoughts. Thinking about past or future and imagining hypothetical scenarios is a part of our day-to-day life. We are never content with what we have, always thinking about ‘what could be’ or ‘what could have been’.
Millions of us leave our homes and our countries to go abroad, searching for a better future, looking for a better life. Some leave by choice – because we want to try new things and new places; others leave because of necessity, because they have to – for one reason or another. Regardless of where we are and what we have accomplished, we are never satisfied with what we got. Once we go abroad, once we establish ourselves in the the new place, our mind wanders and thinks about going back to the motherland – where we originally come from. It is not because we need to, it is not because we have to. It is because of our nature – we are never satisfied with what we have. The present is never enough!
Most of the immigrants, regardless how long they have been away from their own country or how good life they live in the new place, have nostalgic attachment to their homeland. It is nothing new, it is part of being human. We never let go of the past, especially if past involves sweet memories of childhood.
Many of us, those who are settled abroad, often think about going back, returning for good. Even after we have made new life in the new country, the thought of going back often creeps into our minds. It is a good nostalgic memory of past. Most of us think about it – going back permanently, but very few actually actually try it. And those who return to their motherland, the experience is often not what they expected or what we imagined.
The simple fact is that time changes everything. The home we left behind years or decades ago is not the same home anymore. Everything and everybody has moved on. The old friends, the old neighbors, the small shop at the corner, the big tree next to the pond – everything and everybody has moved on. The nostalgic memories from long time ago that we want to relive today are nonexistent in reality. The surroundings have evolved, the neighborhoods have changed and the even the culture and customs have changed over the years. Continue reading
Dear 2011!
Welcome. I have been waiting for you almost since Christmas. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. Really, I mean it. It is hard to believe what a difference a day can make; well, in this case a night!
As the clock strikes midnight on December 31, as the 2010 rolls over and 2011 rolls in, a whole new year is born, a brand new one! As the seconds tick-tock from 12:00 to 12:01AM – in those 60 seconds, a whole year is forgotten. a whole year becomes history! All the sorrows of 2010, all the unkept promises, all the unresolved resolutions – everything becomes past; as if they all become obsolete. All the bad memories of previous year are replaced by the joyous celebrations of a new one. It is amazing how good we are at forgetting yesterday; our selective memory loss is something to be umm….proud of.
As the new year rolls in, we starts a new chapter in their life. The yesterday become a year old. With new optimism of new year, we plan something big, something great, something large. The choice is between the dead and gone 2010 vs. the new born 2011. Why should we mourn the dying past if there is choice to celebrate the future, to celebrate the birth of a new year.
Just like most of us, I have written off 2010 already – completely forgotten. I have even replaced my 2010 resolutions with new ones for 2011.
Drear 2011, I have big plans for you. For a change, I really want to DO something this year; I absolutely want to accomplish something this time. I know I have said this before to your elder brother 2010, or perhaps many others before that, but let the bygones be bygones. Let the past be a history. This time I am dead serious; this time, I am motivated to make a difference in my life.
I can already feel it – the good karma surrounds me on this new dawn of a new year. I can feel the optimism all around me. Continue reading
What we call the beginning is often the end. And to make an end is to make a beginning. The end is where we start from.” ~T.S. Eliot
Here we go AGAIN!
Another new year staring at us, another milestone on the horizon!
It is that time of the year – to come up with the new resolutions and new goals for a brand new year knocking at my door.
My new year’s resolutions for 2011:
To keep my list simple, i decided to update my last year’s resolution list, that was collecting dust on my desk all year.
A little tweaking, a few updates in the red, and we have a brand new list of resolutions for a brand new year.
You may say, how lazy, i say – how efficient!!
To save me trouble in re-writing the whole thing here, I have scanned a copy:
So, there you have it, my resolution list! Continue reading
Is Santa Claus Real? – A timeless argument and a timeless response!
Source: By Francis P. Church, first published in The New York Sun, Sep. 21, 1897. [The People’s Almanac, pp. 1358–9.] In the spirit of the holidays season and Christmas celebrations!
“DEAR EDITOR: I am 8 years old.
“Some of my little friends say there is no Santa Claus.
“Papa says, ‘If you see it in THE SUN it’s so.’
“Please tell me the truth; is there a Santa Claus?
“VIRGINIA O’HANLON.
“115 WEST NINETY-FIFTH STREET.”
Here is the editorial response to this innocent inquiry from an 8 year old girl, that so beautifully summarizes the importance of human faith – what we believe in or not is totally up to us! Re-printed below is the timeless reply from the newspaper editor, that has become a part of the Christmas folklores!
VIRGINIA, your little friends are wrong. They have been affected by the skepticism of a skeptical age. They do not believe except [what] they see. They think that nothing can be which is not comprehensible by their little minds. All minds, Virginia, whether they be men’s or children’s, are little. In this great universe of ours man is a mere insect, an ant, in his intellect, as compared with the boundless world about him, as measured by the intelligence capable of grasping the whole of truth and knowledge.
Yes, VIRGINIA, there is a Santa Claus. He exists as certainly as love and generosity and devotion exist, and you know that they abound and give to your life its highest beauty and joy. Alas! how dreary would be the world if there were no Santa Claus. It would be as dreary as if there were no VIRGINIAS. There would be no childlike faith then, no poetry, no romance to make tolerable this existence. We should have no enjoyment, except in sense and sight. The eternal light with which childhood fills the world would be extinguished.
Not believe in Santa Claus! You might as well not believe in fairies! You might get your papa to hire men to watch in all the chimneys on Christmas Eve to catch Santa Claus, but even if they did not see Santa Claus coming down, what would that prove? Nobody sees Santa Claus, but that is no sign that there is no Santa Claus. The most real things in the world are those that neither children nor men can see. Did you ever see fairies dancing on the lawn? Of course not, but that’s no proof that they are not there. Nobody can conceive or imagine all the wonders there are unseen and unseeable in the world. Continue reading
Everyone has his or her own way of looking at life. Some are more optimistic than others – glass half full rather than half empty. The fact is that if you search long enough or far enough, you can always find something to admire and cherish, and you can often find something to disdain as well.This is how the life is – full of ups and downs. There is always something to complain about, and then there is always something to be thankful for.
Life is never what we dream of, tomorrow is always different than what we imagine it to be. On some days you win more than you lose, while other times are quite the opposite. It is never a perfect world – we all know that. That is the beauty of life, always full of surprises – positive or negative! All these surprises, all these ups and downs make us react one way or another. We relish the good times, we hate the bad ones.
As the time goes by, as the years roll on, the life happens – the good, the bad and and then some really ugly. If you live long enough, you cannot avoid these ups and downs. That is what life is – a continuous tide of highs and lows with lots of average daily stuff in between.
Down the road, along the way, we are wound to run into situations and opportunities that are favorable to us, that make us happy. And then, it is equally probable that we will encounter the circumstance that we never wished for, that we never hoped for. It is the law of the nature, with good, comes with the bad. We always find it hard to believe, but this a part of living – relishing the good and dealing with the bad. Continue reading
10 easy Tips on how to minimize the usage of Hinglish (Indian English) overseas
Many of us, especially those who grew up in India, speak ‘Indian English’. This version of desi English – the Hinglishis, is heavily influenced by Hindi, other languages from India and desi terms. It is a common habit; and like many other habits, some times we don’t even realize that our English speech is often affected by our mother tongue.
Just like any other habit, the use of Hinglish is not so easy to get rid of. Habits die hard. In many cases, it may take a lot longer to get used to avoiding Hinglish completely. A conscious effort is always required to navigate away from any set routines, especially the ones related to our communication or speaking habits.
While living overseas and away from India, we may not realize this but we are always adapting to the local ways of life. This process continues even when we are not trying. This is a human nature; we are always adapting to our surroundings. Our language, our communication style and even our thinking – every aspect of our day-to-day life is slowly but surely impacted by the local culture and the society we live in. However, this adaptation and change is often very slow. The same applies to our habit of speaking Hinglish, the change is very slow unless we try consciously.
Listed below are some of the most effective tips on how to minimize the use of Hinglish while living in an overseas society. There are many simple things that we can do to speed up this adaptation to local English slang and language instead of continued habit of speaking Hinglish.
1. Be aware of your Hinglish usage: The first step always is to accept and acknowledge the habit. The second generation of Indians who grew up abroad (among English speaking culture) generally don’t have this habit – the habit of mixing Indian idioms and grammar with English usage. If you were born and raised in India, chances are your speech is influenced by your mother tongue.
2. Think of a few fun things to reduce Hinglish usage: Now that you admit to the Hinglish usage 
, next step is working on how to minimize this habit. The tips below are quite effective, but you can always come up with your own plan. For example, you can ask your American/English friends to assist and coach you in this arena. You know yourself better than anybody else on this planet, so think of your own ideas and fun things that would work best for you.
3. Immerse yourself in the local language overseas: Expose yourself to the local way of speech while living abroad. Make a conscious effort to speak local English by surrounding yourself with those who use local English style and slang, not Hinglish. Continue reading
Light is the source of life. Light is the foundation of this universe. Without the warmth of sun, this galaxy would be frozen and lifeless. The light is the origin of everything living.
A seed needs light to burst out of ground and grow into a giant tree. A newborn needs light for the life support. A frozen and still pond waits all winter for the touch of the spring, for the warm sun-rays, to melt back into fluid water, water that supports life for all creatures – on earth or under water.
The light is what makes us see. Without light we are missing the most important sense of sight, a sensory input to our brain. It is hard to imagine a universe without the ability to see. Long live the light that makes it happen.
There is no such thing as dark; it is just absence of light – absence of a necessity. That is why in many cultures around the globe including in India, light is always compared to knowledge, and darkness to ignorance.
Light is something we should celebrate every day. Light is the blessing we often ignore and overlook. Today on the auspicious day Diwali, let’s celebrate light. After all, it is a festival of light – a festival that signifies knowledge, warmth and life. Continue reading
The fading greens, the changing colors,
Rustling leaves, the whispering wind.
The bite of evening chill in the air,
Empty playground, a summer gone by.
Aimless clouds wandering in the sky,
Taking a cue from some restlessness soul. Continue reading