19:19 Me
Are u okay if I use this ‘chat’ for a blog post…a post on ‘Some Indians abroad dating whites only’ ?
19:19 Neelam
No, not really! Plz!
19:20 Me
my loss
19:20 Neelam
haha….sorry
19:21 Me
19:21 Neelam
may be..you can change the name and place…a little
19:21 Me
I should do that.
Why though?
19:22 Neelam
haha I don’t need publicity..or hate mails…lol
19:22 Me
okay cool, thanks
19:23 Neelam
haha np
…………
“There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so.” said Shakespeare.
A friendly warning: take this post with a grain of salt, if you get indigestion from racial mix and deviations from the social norms.
Well, looks like you decided to read on! The ‘chat’ above is the ending portion of the conversation below.
Now, what the heck am I talking about?
Luckily or unluckily, I ran into someone online, someone who is a part of this ummm … trend! This ‘chat’ on the social network site is a quick glimpse into the psyche of the new desi generation abroad.
The ‘chat’ spans over multiple sessions, you may notice from the time-stamps. The mundane conversation started something like this:
15:19 Neelam
hi
15:20 Me
Hello Neelam, how r u?
15:20 Neelam
haha gud, n u?
15:21 Me
okay, I guess
…………………
………………..
By the way, I wish I could say that these are uncut and unedited conversations, but that’s not the case. The name and place have been changed to maintain anonymity. Also, some of the unrelated and ‘boring chat’ – as she calls it, have been removed, you can tell this from the gaps in the time-intervals.
15:24 Neelam
what is this site about
15:24 Me
you can guess by the name – “The Indians abroad’
…………..
……….
15:27 Neelam
haha, not my thing
15:27 Me
why?
15:28 Neelam
haha don’t know. Not much into desi circle.
15:28 Me
Okay, whatever tickles ur fancy
15:29 Neelam
ya…
……………
……………
18:07 Neelam
hi!!!!
18:07 Me
Hi, again
18:08 Neelam
I read your Babbu’s wedding thing on your blog….it’s hilarious lol
18:08 Me
Ok thanks.
18:08 Neelam
np
18:09 Me
I thought u were not into desi circle
18:09 Neelam
haha…i am not
18:10 Me
So what circle are you into?
18:10 Neelam
non-desi..lol
18:11 Me
Okay, like?
18:11 Neelam
haha white circle..lol
………….
………….
18:42 Me
So you mean you hang out with white friends only?
18:43 Neelam
Ya…somethin like dat
18:43 Me
but you have tons of desi friend on FaceBook, I noticed!
18:44 Neelam
haha that’s frm my family circle, not social circle….lol
18:44 Me
i see
18:45 Neelam
and some of them are my desi friends…da gals….my passé
18:45 Me
I don’t get it…
18:46 Neelam
haha its ok…whatever dude
………….
………….
18:55 Me
so it’s okay to hang-out with desi girls, but not desi guys
18:55 Neelam
haha something like dat.
……………..
…………….
18:58 Me
Wow! How did this start?
18:58 Neelam
haha ..just so happened…lol
18:59 Me
doesn’t make sense
18:59 Neelam
we only date white guys…clear nuff? lol
18:59 Me
‘we’ who?
19:00 Neelam
me and may desi gals…my passé,
19:00 Me
All I can say is wow, again
19:01 Neelam
I have seen worse reaction…lol
………………
………….
During last two months of this summer of 2010, I also had the pleasure of attending two beautiful inter-racial weddings. Looking at the inter-racial couples attending those weddings, I can say that Neelam is not alone. There seem to be an emerging and perhaps growing trend among the new generation of Indians who prefer to choose a white person as their life partners. The trend may have been around for a while, but it is more noticeable in recent years.
………….
19:05 Me
is it a new fashion or old fashion?
19:06 Neelam
no fashion….just preference..lol
……….
……….
19:12 Me
Your folks okay with that?
19:12 Neelam
haha don’t know…
19:13 Me
I mean they don’t say anything?
19:13 Neelam
they r not ok with dating at all..leave alone dating white dudes….lol
………….
………….
19:19 Me
Are u okay if I use this ‘chat’ for a blog post…a post on ‘Some Indians abroad dating whites only’ ?
19:19 Neelam
No, not really! Plz!
19:20 Me
my loss
19:20 Neelam
haha….sorry
19:21 Me
19:21 Neelam
You can change the name and place…a little
19:21 Me
I should do that.
Why though?
19:22 Neelam
haha I don’t need publicity..or hate mails…lol
19:22 Me
okay, cool…..thanks
19:23 Neelam
haha np
This observation is not a judgment – positive or negative, on anyone or any group of people. It is just something I recently noticed, multiple times.
You can call this ‘trend’ for the modern generation of Indians living abroad as a stereotype, or a racial bias against their own race. Or you can call it the rebellious behavior from the kids who may feel a bit over-controlled in their social choices. Or you can simply call it the normal thing for the new generation – plain and simple. This is not a new phenomenon, and for many, this is quite mundane and ‘oh so 90′s’.
The reason behind this trend? I have no clue. This could be a perfectly normal thing, based on how the families and schools are integrated these days for all races and cultures. Or, as I said before, this could be one of the many ways the younger generation wants to express their freedom and their choices. Any further dissection is beyond the scope of this article, at this time; may be next time!
Related posts:
- Why white women find desi or Indian guys less attractive?
- The night before Babbu’s wedding
- The hidden social classes abroad – the Fabs, the FOBs, the ABCD
- I am not racist, but my brain may be!
- Abroad, you never feel at home



#1 by Jennifer on August 11, 2010 - 8:15 AM
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This is a topic that needs to be discussed. Thanks for bringing it out. In fact I am a ‘white’ American married to a Desi guy. It seems in my age group (30 somethings) it’s more common to see a desi guy with a white girl than a white guy with a desi girl. As ‘Neelam’ seems to suggest Desi girls want to date white guys now, maybe more than before. I think there is another reason for this- there are simply more girls coming here from India than before too (not just the Desis born here in US, but the Desis born in India too). Myself being in an intercultural marriage, there are many things to think if one wants to take the dating relationship further. I can’t point out everything here-but one is that marrying outside the culture/race/religion means you’ll be on the outer fringes. It’s kinda like being a Desi Abroad.. you may never fully integrate back into life in India (as if you never left)… marrying outside the culture/religion/race is the same kind of thing. This is not so noticeable while dating as it is when married. This has it’s perks and downsides. A downside is some pakka desis don’t accept a desi married outside, and same with pakka American whites (I hate to say it but I have felt it….). A perk is being on the outside means you can break the rules of both cultures to some extent and it’s more tolerated by ‘the so-called’ masses than if you married in your expected ways.
#2 by admin on August 11, 2010 - 8:41 AM
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Hi Jennifer, I knew you would having along comment on this. Thanks for taking the time and sharing your views!
#3 by jeevan on August 14, 2010 - 12:51 PM
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interesting. A society within the society abroad!
#4 by heena on August 17, 2010 - 2:25 AM
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she sure does laugh a lot
Haha
lol
#5 by Dennis on October 23, 2010 - 8:15 AM
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Lol. Indian girls think that they accomplish something by being able to date a white guy. Everyone know that a dude will sleep with anything that has a hole between it’s legs. And most white guys will date oriental/indian girls as a sexual fetish that they have. Lol, girls don’t know that..yes that means you neelam…lol….they just be used as a sexual object till white dude decides to marry only from white girls. P.S. 1990s are way over. that trend is old.
‘
#6 by kate on July 7, 2011 - 2:35 AM
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I don’t believe you Dennis, sorry. It’s not always the situation, I can attest to that.