Monthly Archives: February 2010

Desi ideas but foreign winners – Jai Hind?

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American Skaters deliver Hot Bollywood delivered on cold ice !  

American Skaters in Desi Costume

Olympic Ice Skating pair Meryl Davis and Charlie White is a hot topic of discussions among Indian social circles for their spell-bound performance to the tunes of Bollywood music. Dressed in Desi costumes, the American skaters delivered a spectacular presentation on the ice. 

If you have not heard, the same pair received a second place Silver medal in the ‘Mixed Figure Skating’ Olympic competition.  

The Indians areproudly passing around the Youtube videos of this performance and claiming a victory of Indian culture of folk music. While the pair basks in the Olympic glory, their performance to the Bollywood tunes is a water-cooler topic of Indian pride and how great the Bollywood music is.  

Yes, the pride of Indian folk music deserves the applause, but we forget that it took an American couple to deliver the performance worth the Olympic consideration.  

If you think, we have been watching Shammi Kapoor for ages,dancing on the mountains and in the gardens alike, followed by the modern day heroes who are addicted to the on-screen dance – a necessity of Bollywood movies. 

No doubt, the Indian dance is a world recognized art and is progressively exposed in the western society. However, one wonders, a country of one billion Indians cannot produce a pair of ice-skaters who can represent India in the winter Olympics. We need an outsider to utilize Indian art – the Indian concept of folk music – to reach the medal podium! Continue reading →

Extra polite or not so…?

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The shopkeeper is extra polite when he does not understand the customer.
The listener is extra polite when she doe not understand you and says, “Could you repeat that please!”

People are just normal polite when they can relate to you. But if you are getting lots of ‘extra polite treatment’, that may mean many things, including some of the things like:

  •  they don’t get you
  • they don’t understand you
  • they don’t relate to you
  • they find you different than their own kind
  • they don’t know how to interact with you…

Or, in rare cases, they are just extra nice people being extra polite, but you can always tell the difference.

The modern day social disassociation is not a slap in the face, a rude remark, or an outrageous action such as asking you to leave. Instead, it is the actions with extra care, with extra politeness that convey the message.

Most of the times, extra politeness is just extra caution people use when dealing with someone different, someone who does not fit in. Continue reading →

Unmourned Death of a Mother Tongue

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The dusk crawls on the suburban town of Fairfield. The evening chill of February is starting to feel on his wrinkled hands.

Arjun sits on the park bench, watching over his grand-daughter playing on the swings nearby.
“Let us go now, Pooja” he paused, “It’s time to go home”. He speaks with a broken English accent. Over the years he has adapted to the foreign tongue, the only language his grand kids understand.
“Not yet Grandpa! Can you push my swing please – one more time,” says the little girl with big black eyes, as she struggle with the slow-down of the swing.
“We have to go now, Pooja; the sun is going down.”
“It’s still light. One more push grandpa, please!”
Her delay tactics continue; she winning the every round of the bargain to go home.

After a few more swings and a long bargaining, they finally walk off the park. She skips along the sidewalk; their long silhouettes dragging behind them.

“Mom said you are making us a big kite. When can we fly it?”
“Soon. As soon as the winter is over and spring arrives.”
“Cool!”
“Look at the beautiful sunset, beta!” he points to the sun on the far western horizon as they turn the corner, their two story bungalow within the sight now.
She casually looks at the sunset. Unimpressed, she skips along. Continue reading →

Desi fundas 101: Education a fundamental driver of Indian success abroad

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The big red letters on the front of our school used to read, in two languages:
In Punjabi: “Vidhya insaan di teesari akh hai!”
In Hindi: “Vidhya insaan ki teesari aankh hai!”
Meaning: Education or knowledge is the 3rd eye of a person.

Growing up, we all knew that some of the rules should not and could not be questioned; rules like:

  • Respect your books. Stepping on a book, even by mistake is a sin. A book never belongs under your feet.
  • Education is your priority number one.
  • Respect your teachers….

If you look around, you can always find many neighbors or colleagues that sacrifice so much to educate their kids. Many of them may not have enough to afford three meals a day, but they damn make sure that their kids go to schools – good schools, including the prestigious schools or colleges abroad.

The same priority on education is equally true for Indian Americans, British Indians, Indo Canadians….and other Indian families overseas. Continue reading →

Indian head wobble – the desi nod

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The way many Indians and nod their head is often described as the ‘Indian head wobble’ or ‘Indian head bobble’. If you live outside India, it is not a widely understood body gesture.

What is Indian head wobbling?
For those who are not familiar with the term, the head wobbling is a motion that is somewhere in between the up-and-down nod, and the sideways head shaking. So, it is somewhat rotational motion of the head – a light head shake combined with a head roll.

What does it mean?
Does it mean yes, or does it mean no?

Simply put, it means ‘yes’, but is it really that hard to understand??

Well, for those who are not exposed to Indian culture and desi body language, it is a confusing response. Continue reading →

Love defined

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Love is the glow in a mother’s eyes, as she admires a little soul in her arms.
Love is the father’s pat on son’s back as he catches his first fish
Love is what makes you day-dream the possibilities, and impossible
Love is what brings out your best, and the worst alike
Love is the pinch in the heart at the time of the departure
Love is the song of joy from the depths of the heart Continue reading →

Snow sledding misadventure

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Today, my neighbors taught me how to sled down the snowy hill like a pro. They told me last night about their plan and I could barely sleep – with all the excitement.

This morning, me and my three neighbors headed over to the snowy hill across the park. Covered with glistening white snow, it is majestic view of a snowy hill in the morning sun. More than a 100 yards of slope, waiting to be exploited. Below freezing temperature did not affect our enthusiasm, or the plan.

Many little kids were already sledding down the hill, in all kinds of creative ways. I saw a young boy standing on a fast paced sled, hands free and looking backward, go down the hill. Another little girl using a small round plate that looks like a flying saucer, was flying down the slope in style, her feet firmly planted inside the fast moving fancy looking alien object.

“You cannot back down now!” Ravi said to everybody.
“This is gonna be so much fun!” Mel, his girl friend giggled
“Lets go!!” Shouted Steve. Continue reading →

The Snowy Mess

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It is 6 in the morning; I am standing inside my nice and warm house, looking at my front yard. The front porch, the drive way to the garage – the whole thing is covered with snow again.

Hurray! Not really. Seriously, this is thirds day in a row that I am dealing with snow removing and shoveling. It is 3, well, at least 2, more days  than I wanted to snow-shovel.

The first day was fun. The nice fluffy snowflakes everywhere, glistening with the sunlight from the far horizon. I even thought of making a snow-man after the shoveling was done, but gave up on the idea thinking I am not a kid and it is too cold to deal with snow any longer. Instead, I came inside and had a warm cup of steaming tea, while looking outside and admiring my own work.

The second morning – yesterday, I woke up to another 3-4inches of new snow coating. I ventured outside and did my thing again – shoveled the driveway and the porch; cleared the side street where neighborhood kids walk to (and from) the school-bus that makes a stop in front of our house every morning and every afternoon.

I was all done, and was about to come inside, that is when a big snow plow, that was clearing the streets in our area, dumped a big wall of snow in front of my drive way. That is the most annoying thing about this big snow plows, they push the snow off the street to the sides, but in the process, end up creating more headache for every household. I hate snow plows – just for the record. Continue reading →

Lies from overseas – Maanji and the computer

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He bows; reaches down to touch his grandma’s feet – to show respect.
She puts her right hand on his head. Her wrinkled hands shiver, the tears moisten their eyes. They embrace and hug outside the gate of the haweli. The driver drags two suitcases, from the trunk of the car, into the house.

“How was the flight?” she asks in a weak but firm voice.
She speaks in pure Punjabi – the only language she has ever spoken in her last 80 years of a well-lived life. She has not been to big cities, unless to attend some wedding, or a funeral. Her daily world is mostly limited to the few streets of her village, or up and down the family farm.

She is glowing with the excitement of seeing her grandson again, after so many years.

“The flight was good”, he replied without thinking. He looks around to take a stock of the dramatically changed neighborhood.

“You look old. The 5 years have aged you more than a decade”

“I know, maanji” That is what he always called her. In fact that is what the whole village calls her – Maanji, the mother.

She inquired about health, and the rest of extended family abroad. He, in return, talked about trivial stuff – like how the peepul tree near the pond has grown so old, how the streets are paved now….how it is so foggy even in the middle of the day…

They eventually got inside the house. The servant pulled a cot out of the veranda, into the dim sunlight breaking through the thinning fog. The winter day of February seemed warm – as if the chill has suddenly disappeared.

“so what do you do in America”. She asked again, the same question she has asked before on the phone many time.
“ I am .umm….Engineer”, he gave the same answer he had always given.
“I know, you told me that before. But, what do you do?”
“I work with the computers”
“How big are the computers in America? The one our Jeeta has is smaller than even a television.”
“They are small, small like that foot-rest”, he pointed to the small foot-stool next to the cot.

She got silent, perhaps thinking, or may be imagining him working with a small computer
She paused, and then spoke in a subdued tone, “After spending all your life in dorms and now abroad, you could not find a better job?” Continue reading →

10 Best Movies with NRIs and India Abroad Theme

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There are lots of movies – many made in Bollywood, some abroad – that explore the lives of NRIs and Indians living overseas. There are lots of films with ‘India Abroad and NRIs’ theme. However, not all the NRIs stories of overseas are well told, well played or worth the time. Some of the best movies that actually leave a lasting impression of the life abroad include:

1. Monsoon Wedding:Directed by Mira Nair, this is romance, comedy and drama – all together – depicting the lives of NRIs and the NRI weddings. An extravagant Punjabi wedding and the family traditions are beautifully directed throughout this movie. The touch of folk music is very refreshing. Naseeruddin Shah’s acting is solid once more, and plays a father who is organizing an enormous, chaotic, and very expensive wedding that involves NRI families coming together from different parts of the world.

2. East is East:This is a very comic and funny movie with a dark side of NRI story based out of England. Om Puri delivers one of the best acting of a conflicted father with double standards. Married to a white woman, the father forces his kids to live the traditional and strict desi lifestyle. The children, born and grown up in UK, see themselves as British and reject their father’s rules on dress, food, religion and arranged marriage.

3. Bend it like Beckham:Starring Parminder Nagra and Keira Knightley, the title comes from the soccer player David Beckham’s skill at scoring from free kicks by “bending” (curving) the ball past a wall of defenders. It is a beautiful depiction of a Punjabi family’s life in England. The film explores the lives of Indians abroad and how NRIs ‘bend’ the social and traditional rules to adapt to the local culture. It has a lively music, with a touch of folk genre, including ‘Rabbaa Rabbaa Meeh Barsaa’.

4. Bride and Prejudice:This is a Bollywood style adaptation of the novel ‘Pride and Prejudice’ by Jane Austen. It is filmed primarily in English, with some Hindi and Punjabi dialogue. The lead cast of Aishwarya Rai, Martin Henderson, Nadira Babbar, Anupam Kher and Naveen Andrews plays well in the desi adaptation of an old classic story of west. The wedding and party scenes, the complicated feelings of love, the dance numbers and culture depiction….are all nicely integrated. Continue reading →

R2I Surprises await the returning NRIs

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Everyone abroad talks about r2i – returning to India. Sooner or later, every Indian settled overseas considers returning home. Regardless how much you plan and how much you look forward to it, the real life experience always brings its own surprises – good and bad ones.

Most of the NRIs romanticize about the life in India. However, those returning to India have their own complaints about life back home:

Traffic: After living in American or Europe for a long time, we get used to the smooth flow of traffic and the traffic rules. Don’t expect the same after r2i. There are just way too many cars and bikes on the road, compared to what we are used to abroad. And remember, the more aggressive drivers make their own traffic rules, most of the time.
Not the same old neighborhood: I wrote a full article on this recently, the home we left behind many years ago is not the same, neither is the neighborhood.

Kids hate it: many parents return to India to raise their kids in Indian culture speaking Indian language. However, the whole experience is very hard on kids. The language, the new place, the new surroundings, the power cuts, the crowd….the whole thing overwhelms them. They like India for vacationing, but forget the permanent living part.

Faded bonds of Family and friends: Many of us return home to be with family and old friends. However, once you go back, it does not feel like the good old days. Everybody is on a different wavelength; they have their own lives to live. Continue reading →

NRIs’ misplaced nostalgia of good old days

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If you listen to the first generation of Indian Americans abroad – especially those who migrated long time ago – they paint a very bright and picture of their past memories of India:

“Those were different days – happier times. We never cared much about anything – anything but friendship and good company. The schools were parties – a meeting place where all the good and bad schemes were hatched…”

“All summer we played cards under the big shade tree next to the pond….And, when we got bored of cards, we played marbles, or took a nap on a cot. No air-conditioners could compete with the monsoon soaked eastern breeze of summer days. Those were the days….!”

The first generation of immigrants misses the homeland of India more than anything. In most of the week-end parties or social gatherings, talking about good old day is one of the common topics. The nostalgic discussion intensifies after a few drinks. The memories of childhood, the growing up, the friends back home, the food, the aimless wandering…well, there is no end to the journey down the memory lane, the memories of past left behind..

Yearning for the past is a human nature. We always cling to the memories of yesterdays. Regardless where we live, the nostalgia is nothing more than trying to hold on to the past. The past is not easy to let go, even though we all talk about moving on. Living abroad just adds one more dimension to all this – the living in the past. Continue reading →