Opening a can of worms here. 
This may seem like a very personal question and you probably won’t get an honest response if asking someone point blank. After all, no one wants to be stereotyped. However, it is a fair question that is seldom asked and often ignored:
Are the white women less attracted to the guys from India or those of Indian origin? And if so, Why?
Myth or truth:
Is this really true or is it just is a myth?
Based on all kinds of on-line discussions, observations from different corners of the world and feedback from many, it is most likely a true observation. However, it may have more to do with the social and cultural tradition of a race or ethnic group to stay within their own kinds – within their own race or social group. The question or observation may not be different from ‘Do white women find Hispanic men less attractive?’ or any other combination of ethnic mix. So, don’t take it too personal, this is not be your fault. Blame it on your social upbringing.
Under ideal circumstance, a relation should not be based on the color of the skin, but it is not a perfect world we live in. Without any sugarcoating, here is some of the common logic or reasoning behind this behavior:
1. Peers and parental influence: The family and social aspect always comes into play in our personal choices. After all, racial biases and racial issues are still very much alive in every society. Yes, these biases are not as bad as in old day, but it is not a color-blind world by any measure. Many of our daily decisions are influenced by the peer pressure and the racial biases that are rooted deep in the society, choosing a partner is one of them. The birds of a feather, flock together – as they say.
2. Unconscious bias: It is human nature, we have our own biases and prejudice, and sometimes we don’t even realize it. If a white person has always seen her friends and families – since she was a kid – sticking with their own kind, her first preference is likely going to be someone of her own kind, even without her realizing it. We are a creation of our environment; our surroundings always influence our actions. So, once again, not your fault or her fault, blame it on the hidden cleverness and treacheries of our brain – the unconscious bias.
3. Not enough in common:A friendship or a relation is often built on a common bond. Coming from a different background and raised very differently, an Indian guy may not have much in common with the white women. For example, if your favorite topics of discussion relate to Bollywood, the game of cricket, desi music…., you probably won’t make very good company for a white person who knows little about all this. Understanding the other side and making a connection based on personal likes and dislikes makes a big difference.
4. Good hygiene Rumor:Some have said this (anonymously) and others have heard this through some friend-of-friend, that their experiences have not been very ‘pleasant’ when it comes to personal hygiene. Not sure how true this is, or if it could be some isolated incident. May be the smell of Indian spices from desi food lingers on us much longer than it should, or some other issues…., Or, may be white women are attracted to certain male odor that we – most Indians – lack. In any case, use your own judgment at personal level, and if in doubt, make a trip to the supermarket and buy some new colognes; and buy it from a white sales clerk, just to be sure.
5. Not well kept: Need a haircut, dressing up poorly, nails and hands not taken care of, worn-out shoes, same pair of pants every day….well, you got the idea. Taking care of overall appearance may be something worth looking into. Now, this could apply to everybody, not just Indians, but it is human nature – to assume and stereotype. So, investing in a full size mirror may not be a bad idea, the second opinion matters, even from our own eyes.
6. The language barrier:The Language barrier could be a problem if you are born and raised in India. The Indian accent – some call it ‘thick accent’ – is hard to understand if you are not used to it. So, keep that in mind. Also, even if you have no accent, the Hinglish – the English we speak back home - can play its havoc some times. A friend once shared this story:
A desi guy met a white girl and when they were about to depart in the evening, he told her, “I will give you a ring”.
Well, she thought that he meant the actual ring, not the intended phone call!
7. Religion and family: The difference in religion, on top of a very different social structure, also has something to do with all this. Most Indians living abroad are Hindus or Sikhs and it may not go well with the Christian or Jewish religions. It is a common perception in America and Europe that most of the Indian guys are from a traditional Hindu family; and there is a great chance that even if he likes you, his family may not accept you. This perception – true or false – can certainly affect the viewpoint from the other side.
8. Too reserved and quiet: Here comes another stereotype, and may be true in some cases. The modernized women in general – white or not – like outgoing guys who are very social and extrovert. The common first impression of Indian men is quite the opposite; they are often considered to be quiet and reserved. One of the most popular topics among the visitors of this site is the tips on small talk; at least we know our weakness.
9. Mama’s Boy: It is a part of the Indian (and many other) cultures that guys stay with their family – with their parents, even after they are adult. Many cultures don’t understand this. This behavior can often be compared to one not being independent. The deduction may not be true because it is more of a cultural and family dynamics. However, it is true that some mothers pander to their son’s every need, and many women (white or not) may not like a man who is overly spoiled. The lack of privacy is another reason that many women may avoid a mama’s boy.
10. Self-doubt and over consciousness: We are our own worst enemy many times. It could very well be your attitude that is keeping the women away. Being overly conscious about the racial difference or such prejudice can create a constant self-doubt, and a lack of self-confidence when dealing with white women. After all, the world is what we perceive it to be.
The changing times ahead: It should be acknowledged that the social acceptance and multi-culture society is certainly gaining grounds with time. The progress may be slow, but it is there. You can find more and more inter-racial couples everywhere, and that applies to the Indians males and white females too.
By end of the day, this is just another social and cultural issue to a large extent – the Indians guys being not attractive for White women. And on top of all this, it is also an issue of personal preferences. Understanding the view-point of the other side can make a big difference, and it can also help in changing the perception.
So next time, you feel that you are being put-down for your ethnicity, it may not hurt to just ask. The reason could very well be, for example, that she prefers dark brown hair on a brown guy, and you happen to dye yours blonde!
For all this, you might think that Indian guys hate white women. As discussed in a separate post, it is quite the opposite – Indian/desi guys find white women more attractive!
Related posts:
- Indian/desi guys find white women more attractive!
- Many Indians abroad dating exclusively whites only!
- Common overseas myths and misconceptions about people from India
- Overseas perceptions about people from India
- Our Beliefs and the Outside World
- 30 tips on the art of small talk
- I am not racist, but my brain may be!
- Indian Beliefs or Perceptions of American and European Culture
Very Interesting take. I have heard this smell (Good hygiene) thing before when i was attending a party of a white colleague. I don’t think they were complaining, but saying that it is ‘different’. May be being polite
I don’t get it though, may be used to it.
I dated three Indian guys. Who said we don’t find them attractive?
So how was it Kat1985? Considering you said ‘dated’, not dating Indians anymore?
Thanks for visiting the site. Take care.
Really interesting article man, very interesting take. I agree with most of what’s said here, and I think you bring up some great points. As a desi guy actually born and raised in the West, let me offer my own perspective.
Kat – I don’t think anyone’s trying to say no white girls find Indian men attractive, we’re just looking at general trends.
First – While it’s not politically correct, I think it’s 100% accurate to admit everyone has some traits they find attractive in the opposite sex, and race is often among these. I can’t say if it’s because I was born in the West or something instinctual, but I definitely have a weakness for white and East Asian women. I know other men who’re captivated by desi women or African women. It varies from person to person, but I think it’s completely correct to say that everyone has racial preferences (conscious or not) in terms of a partner, and psychological studies have supported this.
I think #4, 8, and 9 on this list ring most true (the rest of the list is still fine, it’s just that, in my opinion, these 3 are the biggest issues). Growing up with mostly white people, I’ve gotten some insight into the way people (generally) view other cultures. Up until a few years ago, I think the general perception of desi men (by Americans) was that they were considered somewhat unclean. I think our food has a lot to do with this. American food is bland and typically without spices, and so they find the smell of masala and hing distasteful. I watched several Indian guys at my high school get mocked for bad “B.O.,” even though the smell was really from food and not body odor. Desi guys are – let’s face it – hairier than white guys, in general. A century ago that would have been considered manlier, but if you look at most Western male models, the shaved-chest metrosexual look is viewed as more attractive. So I think these things combined to give (an unfair) impression that Indian men were not as clean as white ones. The good news? I think that impression has begun to change over the last 5-6 years, and I think it will continue to change.
One thing I’ve always noticed, that your article didn’t bring up: white men seem a lot more attracted to Indian women than white women are to Indian men. That could just be a function of where I grew up, but it’s a definite trend I’ve noticed. White males often view Indian (or any Asian) women as ‘exotic beauties,’ but when white women think exotic, they’re usually thinking Italian/Spanish Euro-type men. In the interracial couples I’ve seen, it’s far more likely to see a white man and Indian woman than the other way around. It’s something I’ve noticed, and I’m curious about why it happens.
Good article, it definitely brings up some interesting food for thought. It’s one of those things people don’t want to consider because it’s politically incorrect, but it should be talked about.
some very nice insights desi55. Thanks for sharing your experiences and views.
Indian men have very small penis, that’s why white girls are not sexually attracted to indian men. That’s also why alot of indian girls go for white and african men.
body odor is nasty that is why i always take a bath twice a day.:*.
I am a white woman who finds Indian men to be EXTREMELY attractive. I just wish I could figure out how to find such a man to date in my area. I dated one man who was of Indian descent that lived near me, but he was only interested in one thing. It was too bad, because I really liked him and he broke my heart.
email me Rhianon, I am nice Indian man
rkkstk@gmail.com
Well, I am with the other white girls—Indian men are very attractive, so am not sure where the perception is coming from. The key issue is definitely #10, regardless of race, gender, whatever… lack of confidence will not score you points with anyone, anywhere. Yes, women (of all backgrounds) want a confident, yet caring and attentive man. Surprised?
3, 4, 5, 6, and 9—I think these vary too widely from person to person to generalize… these issues are not at all unique to any group… One note: women in general r more sensitive to smells, but it is the natural smell of a man that is irresistible, when there is a good physical compatibility… why mask it? It’s a turn-on! Spicy food smell—if it bothers her, she’s not the right girl for u… I mean, yeah, by all means take that shower before going to work or a party, but u don’t need to do anything beyond that…
1 & 2—if someone is immature enough to be trapped in any of these illusions, u will do urself a great favor by staying away… it is a choice we can consciously make whether or not to be influenced by something or not… it has to do with spiritual development and recognizing others as divine beings…
8—this is a definite plus! Just be urself—the right girl will be drawn to u, and I mean the real you, not some superficial persona u may be trying to put on… when there is compatibility, you’ll feel the warmth in ur heart and will open up naturally… that’s all
7—definitely important, but again, if a woman is too rigid in her beliefs & closed-minded, thank God for keeping her away from you… whew!
In sum—yes, Indian boys are very cute, so go out there and enjoy being you!
Good Article. Lots of good points. But the most important point is not mentioned here. The main reason white girls don’t like Asian guys, is the Asian body type. Asian body type generally of poor build and not at par with European body type (that’s one reason Indians can’t play soccer). It’s the genetics and we can’t change it.
Height, weight, body sculpture, built, skin color, personality, sex appeal all matter and who doesn’t know girls always dream for handsome, honest, sincere, committed boy friends just like boys dream for most beautiful girls. It’s the look and personality that create the attraction first between a male and female then proceed from there to build relationship (if really happens).
Be happy with whatever God gave to you and find match within your own race. Oil and water don’t mix. If I am beautiful and attractive then l should look for the same- that’s my mantra.
I’m an Indian guy and I’ve been rated attractive by almost all white women that I’ve met esp. in the US. I think it has to do with personal appeal…I mean you *have* to look attractive an that is an individual’s characteristic not that of an entire race. If you’re ugly as hell and belong to Indian race, it doesn’t mean that you’re rejected by women because of your race. Get what I mean?
And good point by Hiru, Indian body type is not really that attractive…and my body type isn’t that hot as well but I guess you can compensate for that with good looks and personality
@Ragav – Thanks for your comments but your logic is flawed unless you say that majority of the white males are much more attractive and majority of Indian males are not. The article is on the topic of ‘attractiveness’ and how white women may perceive it.
Look at the article heading please ‘Why white women find desi guys less ATTRACTIVE”.
I guess I fall outside the parameters of most women. I generally am less concerned with the packaging than the contents. As a result I have dated men of nearly every ethic persuasion. I enjoy the cultural differences we bring to the table, actually enjoy the lilt of a foreign accent, and we haven’t even discussed food yet
What I want is my intellectual equal. A man who is well bred, has a nice family, nice manners, cultured, well-educated, a good career and treats me like a princess. Who cares where he came from? At the risk of sounding unpatriotic, that describes a very high percentage of Indian men in the US.
It is really unfortunate that we have so many people that can’t get past the differences. Last I checked we all belonged to one race: the human one.
Maybe my Dutch ancestry is showing here I don’t know.
I think I want to get on the list with one of the aunties to marry me off to a great Indian guy. Bring. It. On!
Thanks Sookie for your honest and well balanced comments.
.
Good luck with finding the aunties who can get you on the list….lol. and, if you succeed, do invite me to your wedding…. after all we all belong to the same race – human
I am brand-new to blogging and actually loved your website.
I had a bad experience. About a year ago I was chatting a white woman over the internet. It went very good for a while. She said she was well educated and very gorgeous like a princess. Then she asked about my ethnicity. After I told I am Asian Indian, she became very frustrated and then turned violent. She threw bad words to me like monkey etc, said she hates Indians and then quit the chat. I realized physique matters. Compared to European, African, Mexican – Indians have inferior physique, does any one believe Indians have worst body type? there are exceptions but we are talking most common and general situations.
This post reminds me about the old days of good blogging. If you can please visit my site kitchen cheap
Well, this trend of white women unwilling to date indian men has happened over time.
Indian men in the past went crazy when they saw/met white women who were more open minded and approachable compared to indian women. Most Indian men started abusing that and used white women for sex only. They would get angry / jealous if the white women hugged or talked to other men(white culture is not conservative like Indians)
Over time white women got disgusted by the attitude of indian men and are now keeping a distance. yes there are instances where they do date / mate or marry indian men but not as much as it happened 20-50 years ago.
I believe the attitude of Indian ages ago (and even now to some extent) have affected the way white women view Indian men.
I am of Indian origin and I feel white women are reluctant to converse to Indians. They would gladly converse with a black dude.
Our forefathers generation has messed it up.
Interesting take, G-Rasta. And, is probably true in many cases.
Hi There,
I was doing some research on the topic and have to say that this article is well written and balanced considering the topic. I was born in Australia and of Indian decent; I have only dated white women. Being attractive is a matter of personality, presentation and assimilating into the culture that you find yourself in. You only have to watch a recent Bollywood movie to see that Indians when presented well are hot!
This is a great summarization and good responses and comments. At the risk of being blunt, let me state some of the more obvious reasons:
1. Good old fashioned racism and prejudice – all a factor or darker skin, ignorance, “wrong” religion (not christian), seen as a wifebeating culture (all the usual stereotypes), fear of anything “middle eastern”.
2. Abject ignorance of where India is – not like we are as tiny as Switzerland, with the 7th largest land mass, and 2nd largest population – but to Americans, we may as well be liechtienstein (sp?), at least until recently.
3. Wilful avoidance – one poster brought up the example of the internet chat – others may want to try this experiment too. Beware of the ones who are very curious about your ethnicity or want to see a picture (to screen out unwanteds).
4. And the list goes on..
Great discussion.
Great comment! Thanks for being blunt!
Many variables act while finding soul mate from other races ,one such could be like this.
http://www.topix.net/forum/world/india/TCFO657GMB7EBF5QL/p22
I really liked this thread.One of the reason why white women dont look for indians is they think that indian are pakistanis the first thought that comes into the terriorist or another reason might be the people who troubled during college,school days ….which influenced in the later years….
A lotta people in interracial relationship may surprise u. opinions often distract us from the truth. ima black brotha btw. Respect is the bottom line. respect is for Islam (Muslims) too. Gotta respect each other (likes and differences). facts in general and not just own opinions (perceptions). true peace.. <3
The way you creep up on ANY blonde white girl or just obsess over white girls looks bad.
I went out with a blond friend of mine and she was repulsed by all of you. It’s your demeanor and just everything. It’d be one thing if you just appreciate beautiful women but it’s obvious something else is at work.
Oh and the whole arranged marriage thing and learning to love some one is just too foreign to these white women and it’s presumed you’ll run back home for a wife.
Thank you for a very interesting blog!
Dear friends and fellow mammals, what I wonder here, is that you seem very easily bundle up all white women like there were all from the same cultural or religious background and had identical preferences – just because of the combination of “fairer” sex and light skin tone ..
I am from Finland and all Indian men (and women) I have an honour to know (in this country) are very attractive personalities – all different, but in general kind, intelligent, well educated and with much better manners than average Finns =)
I also fell in love with one of them, unfortunately it did not work out between us two.
What was said before about odours, could be also the very strong perfumes that some Indians use? After all people tend to find unfamiliar things “bad” as a first impression.So please do not soak yourselves =) !
If I would really have to list some reasons why a Finnish woman might NOT find a NICE Indian guy as attractive as a NICE man of some other origins, top guesses would be that: 1.He is too shy and don’t therefore seem to be interested 2. He seems to think that all white women are alike (in good or in bad). 3.He (or she) is about to leave the country, so future of the relationship seems uncertain. 4.He seems to be just “experimenting” with supposedly easy-going western women, because he highlights the difference all the time 5. Indian men seem to be shorter that Finnish people.For some women that is a no-no 6.Some Indian men sport a moustache that makes them look both older and very conservative in Finnish eyes. 7.A woman is affraid of racistic attitudes either from her own or from the mans friends, colleagues or family. 8.”Indian type” is simply not her type (maybe she simply only likes only Swedish looking guys or Maori or something – We all have our personally preferred types, as someone wrote here before) 8.She is a racist herself. That happens too.But please do NOT start with this assumption – chances to date her will be a lot better from the beginning.
Then again – maybe Indian men (in general) DO NOT WANT TO date “white” women (and therefore the question of being or not being seen as attractive is not enough tested)?
Very nice comment Anne. Now, you have an interesting statement in the end :
“maybe Indian men (in general) DO NOT WANT TO date “white” women (and therefore the question of being or not being seen as attractive is not enough tested)?”
You may have given me a foundation for my next post!
I am an Indian man and have consistently dated primarily white women, from Europe especially Sweden, Denmark, Norway, Finland, Germany, Holland and Britain and also Newzealand, Canada, who in general tend to be more progressive and open-minded than their white American counterparts. America is the most conservative country in the industrialized western world hence, white American women ( and men) being more closed minded and intolerant of racial/cultural differences.
Besides, most Americans don’t travel and are ill-informed about world cultures. They wouldn’t know the difference between a Hindu or a Muslim or even an Indian Buddhist. I have come across ivy-league educated white Americans who think India is a Muslim country and not a Hindu majority country , that Shiva is some multi-armed Muslim God and that Mohammad is an Indian God and that the Buddha was Chinese not Indian and that Kathak/Bharatha natyam is an Indian version of a belly dance!! Haha ! I have also come across white American feminists who think the kamasutra is a sexist book !! Hahah!. So, the ignorance level is profound!! I happen to know this Indian Buddhist guy (whose family has been Buddhist for hundreds of years ) who is consistently asked by white American Buddhists as to why and when he converted from Islam to Buddhism !! Hahah!
But, having said that there are a few open-minded white Americans especially those who have traveled abroad to coloured countries say India who tend to be open to dating coloured men and are knowledgeable about coloured countries and peoples. In fact, when I used to date American women , I would give them a voluntary pop quiz about world cultures especially India before deciding if they are worth my time !! Hahah!
Having said that I am lucky to have two beautiful, intelligent , white women in my life in a 3-way relationship, one American , the other European , the women of course being bisexual , one a practicing Hindu the other a practicing Buddhist. Needless to say neither of these two women have a good impression of white Americans and feel that white Americans give white people a bad name !
Namaste , shanthi and peace to Y’all
Da Siddhartha
Interesting! I would like to bring my own experience to bear:
1. If you are always going to hang out with Indians, you are never going to develop the ability and energy necessary to make changes. Learn to live on your own or with non-Indians. For me this was a big — and yet the simplest — change and it has helped immensely in becoming comfortable with looking women, even taller ones, in the eye.
2. Don’t confuse your ability to communicate well with colleagues as having a great personality. Socializing outside of the workplace requires a different level of personality development. Learn to say Hello with a quick smile to everyone who walks by you (unless you live in NYC). Yeah, half of them won’t respond but you are learning. Go sit in a bar alone. Don’t feel pressured to do anything and don’t have more than one drink. Just let yourself be observed by whoever.
3. I do agree with another poster here that being well-built and athletic definitely helps in singling you out from the stereotype of an Indian, namely piss-poor physique/posture. Most Indian girls I’ve dated always felt my upper arms up, which spoke volumes to me about their perception of the typical Indian man. However, don’t show off your muscles. If you are well-built, it will show no matter what. Once you are noticed, you can take advantage of that. But…can you? That’s going to depend on point #2 above.
4. Just because you are a nice guy doesn’t make you interesting. Try to think in terms of general personality development rather than simply targeting success in dating. In a Western country, there are so many facilities. I learnt to swim in the US. Take advantage of it all, man. Have you always wanted to learn to sail? Go for it and stick to it. Everything else will follow.
5. Finally, practice your voice modulation and speech lessons everyday. Replay a conversation you had with a colleague or acquaintance. Do it in the shower if you are not of a mind to do it anywhere else. Smalltalk is most of the fun in dating. Clear, crisp words are in. #5 is easy. Just start doing it. Watch Seinfeld. Observe the facial expressions. Practice them.
6. Don’t forget to floss and use mouthwash before bed. That’s more important than all the gel you can apply on your hair.
I know. Its seems a lot. So pick two and start working on them. It is all about getting out of your comfort zone. And it applies to most everyone — mexicans, middle eastern guys, asian dudes — and not just Indians. It took me 12 years to get to where I am…being able to easily get into conversation with most people, which really is the key.
“white American women ( and men) being more closed minded and intolerant of racial/cultural differences”
You’ve got it completely backward. As an Indian-American, I can vouch for the fact that America is far more tolerant of racial/cultural differences than any of the other countries you mentioned (with the possible exception of Canada). How many of those European countries have elected a non-white president (or elected a non-white president to any significant position of power, for that matter)? How many of them grant automatic citizenship to children of immigrants born in their countries (let alone to children of undocumented immigrants)?
In America, children and grandchildren of poor immigrants generally escape poverty, establish some type of middle class lifestyle in the US, and are considered as American by general society. In Europe, immigrant families remain ghettoized for generations (just look at the Islamic radicalization crisis among immigrant families there). You mention Britain and Germany in your list. Did you know that their leaders recently attacked the entire concept of multiculturalism? It is difficult to imagine even hard-right politicians in the US making such statements.
Surveys upon surveys show that America is more tolerant than virtually any European country. Heck, we treat out illegal immigrants better than most European countries treat their legal immigrants.
America is a country that has never fundamentally been based on race and a specific cultural paradigm. The open-minded views of the American people reflect that fact. European countries, on the other hand, are built fundamentally to represent specific ethnic groups. European close-mindedness on race and culture reflect that.
Most of them try to approach women for fucking, that’s the most important reason. White girls are perceived as “fun” cargo without even a conversation or trying to actually know her.
All then men from Punjab that I know are usually above 5’10 and have a good physique. I’m not sure where this bad ‘physique’ idea comes from, at least when it comes to Northern Indians.
I myself am 6’3 and attend the gym regularly and I would consider myself as having a good body. I also generally do not find it difficult to date a woman from another race.
*the best!!
Reply to #32. I grew up In England and can vouch for British society being generally more liberal than america. I have also lived in France, Germany , Italy and have traveled extensively in Europe. I have also visited Australia, new zealand and also lived in South Africa during the time of apartheid and was dating a white south african at the time! Obama’s election is nothing to do with coloured reality in america especially the plight of african americans and native americans who are totally disenfranchised. Apart from new York and california the rest of america is stuck in the 1600s (mentally) at least!
I am from India too but the ‘NEW’ India and now live in the US, I speak perfect english, dress like I was raised in any big city and am mistaken for an American Born Dude of Indian Origin – which I am not – I am totally Indian! I never studied in the US but work here in management with ease & fit into the culture well. I have dated white women and I like it and they like me – again to someone’s point that its not because I am Indian or not – its cause I am smart, intelligent, well educated and can hold a conversation & ya I also have a sense of humor (but that puts me in the top 0.1% of Indians – so i am not exactly your average Indian). But very sadly all the white women I have dated are pretty but shallow, unintelligent and beyond a few dates I get bored with them (the intelligent ones are mostly ugly)….and then yes it only becomes about sex – and since white women are liberal – I guess i get to have a lot of sex with them. Whats wrong with that? But would i consider marrying a white girl – i dont think so …with my wish to return to India sooner than later ….it will create more complications than anything else. I dont think white girls can ever ‘get’ indian culture & I am not gonna experiment. I also agree somewhat with the point that beyond New York & California …the rest of America is not very accepting of racially different people…and i ain’t gonna stick around to find out!. Finally, The pride that I NOW associate with India or being Indian (cause of the success & potential of the Nation) almost comes in the way now of accepting a girl of any other race (reverse racism??) …
I think the real issue should be whether white women are worth it. I am also Indian-American male who grew up here. Mostly dated white women, married and divorced one. Whenever I get back into the dating scene, will make a conscious effort to avoid white women – tired of their entitlement mentality. Their mentatility is a real turn off – no matter their physical beauty. Thing is, based upon my discussions with my white American male friends. a lot of them are also tired of the mentality of white American women. They all dream of finding a latin, indian, other asian or mixed race women.
reply to post #6 Ryan
-Indian women never go for african men, they simply dont find them attractive for obvious reasons. but yeah they go for white men every now and then
Don’t attribute to race what can be attributed to :
1) Height
2) Accent
3) Nerdy, science/engineering vibe.
An Indian man who is above 6′ will do much better than one who is 6 inches shorter.
An ABCD will do better than an FoB
A stylish, smooth Indian will do better than the IT nerd.
Look on the bright side – we at least see *some* Indian guys married to white women. Among Chinese guys, we just about never see that. At least you are not Chinese
.
The notion that American whites are ‘intolerant’ compared to Europeans is a typical ignorant Desi blind belief, formed by watching TV rather than getting out in the real world.
Such a Desi will not manage to bang a white woman, for obvious reasons.
US whites are MUCH less racist than British Whites!!!
Two US states in the Deep South, Louisiana and South Caroline, have Indian governors. White people voted for these two Indian governors, in the Deep South! That would never happen in Britain.
Sidhartha Kumar is the typical ignorant British Desi who has just watched too much TV and has no real-world exposure. And it shows.
I absolutely adore my Indian boyfriend! I definitely have a weak spot for him in my heart—he is just so irresistibly cute, smart and sweet.
We are in a serious relationship and are planning on getting married. I also love the culture, have been to India several times and would happily live there.
If I were single and looking, I’d definitely look for an Indian guy again. The only serious concern would be finding a man who is ready to commit and marry a non-Indian woman. I mean I would never date anyone for the sake of dating, so perhaps that is a contributing issue—perception that many Indian men would never want to or be able to marry a non-Indian.
Another thing is that so many relatively young Indian men (late 20s) are already married. In my neighborhood, many Indian men in that age range appear to be married, so to avoid any sort of confusion and/or awkward situations, I’d simply avoid them altogether—as in not even initiate any contact with them, because they are probably someone’s husband. I’d wait for a man to approach me, so that I know he is actually available.
I find the premise of this article a little strange. Why are you, as an Indian male, so concerned with being attractive to white women in the US?
I’m a girl of Indian origin who has grown up in various countries including India… I’ve been with men from most parts of the world.. and even dated an American desi. You know why Indian men are such a turn off irrespective of where they grew up? Because (broad generalizations of course) they’re mostly mama’s boys (like you said) who are incapable of being self-sufficient and looking after themselves; are rarely articulate in English despite being perfect post-colonial subjects (look at your own post which is rife with grammatical errors and plainly incorrect vocabulary); are usually inexperienced in long-term mature relationships because of their cultural backgrounds (not their fault); are arrogant wannabes if they’re members of the tiny educated elite that you find in American cities; are horribly provincial and insular if they’re members of the middle-class seeking upward mobility in the US; are rarely progressive when it comes to gender/sexual politics…. i could go on and on and on.
Granted, this is a personal opinion based on my expectations of men but even the American desi I was with, who had lived alone for years doing his Ph.d expected every girlfriend to be his maid and still succumbed to absurd, and totally patriarchal expectations of women which he inherited from his parents. The Indian boys who i’ve been flatmates with were total slobs, content to wallow in their own filth. By this I mean, rich boys from Bombay and Delhi who were content to wallow in their own filth and leave the female flatmate to do all the dirty work.
Most Indian men also think they’re ready for bold, independent women but in reality, they just want women who will be risque in bed but total pushovers when it comes to everything else.
My female friends are from every corner of the world and so far, we’ve had the misfortune of encountering indian men like this despite belonging to that .01 percent of elite, educated, transnational folk. The day I meet an indian man who can keep an apartment that doesn’t need to be shut down by the department of hygiene or have interests aside from his mundane job, fat salary, and bland restricted obsession with material success… I’ll change my mind. Till then, Indian men are a huge disappointment in terms of personality, conversation, interests and yes, they totally suck in the sack.
Reply to post 44 by GG.
Your sweeping generalizations of Indian men only reflects your shallowness.There are clean and unclean people everywhere .Your own arrogance has blinded you and taken you far away from your culture which you could have inherited and made your greatest asset.The bold and independent conception of yourself is the result of an arrogance that refuses to conform to boundaries defined by culture .May you realize later on that in these boundaries lie the greatest human qualities like
sacrifice ,unselfishness,genuine human connections unlike
western culture in which there is a lot of superficiality and fakeness without any real connections.May God Help You!
Reply to post 44 by GG.
I will give it to you on most of the arguments. However…
I would understand if an American woman would complain about Indian man not being articulate in English. But I don’t get you. You have an Indian descent. I’m sure you are multilingual. So, communication shouldn’t be a problem.
Being perfect in English language wouldn’t make an Indian man or any man for that matter a better date IMO.
Most British girls are also racist towards brown skin, they only like black skin – basically they are uncultured – just know how to eat, drink, smoke and fight. They are the most unfeminine in EU.
In reply to Linus: Being a fluent English speaker isn’t important at all if you and your significant other have another common language to speak in. However, if English is your primary language and if communication within a relationship is really important to you, fluency is essential. It means far less misunderstandings and misinterpretations when two people are speaking to each other about things that personal to them. And most urban Indians speak in English to each other.. so at least for us, it is a very serious skill to have. I’m assuming the same thing is important to a ‘white’ woman.
Even in a public forum, see what a huge difference it makes – look at Vik’s comment right above yours. He clearly didn’t understand a single word I said! You, however, seem to have been able to comprehend what I was talking about. Already, a guy like you and a guy like him are worlds apart.
And what does being multilingual mean? How does that help in the Indian context? For example’s sakes, if i was Punjabi marrying a Tamil or a Bengali marrying a Goan, what languages would we have in common? Don’t say Hindi please.
White girls are so sexy and free spirited we Indian men go crazy for their attitude and shaved sexy physiques