Why white women find desi or Indian guys less attractive?

Opening a can of worms here. 🙂
This may seem like a very personal question and you probably won’t get an honest response if asking someone point blank. After all, no one wants to be stereotyped. However, it is a fair question that is seldom asked and often ignored:
Are the white women less attracted to the guys from India or those of Indian origin? And if so, Why?

Myth or truth:
Is this really true or is it just is a myth?
Based on all kinds of on-line discussions, observations from different corners of the world and feedback from many, it is most likely a true observation. However, it may have more to do with the social and cultural tradition of a race or ethnic group to stay within their own kinds – within their own race or social group. The question or observation may not be different from ‘Do white women find Hispanic men less attractive?’ or any other combination of ethnic mix. So, don’t take it too personal, this is not be your fault. Blame it on your social upbringing.

Under ideal circumstance, a relation should not be based on the color of the skin, but it is not a perfect world we live in. Without any sugarcoating, here is some of the common logic or reasoning behind this behavior:

1. Peers and parental influence: The family and social aspect always comes into play in our personal choices. After all, racial biases and racial issues are still very much alive in every society. Yes, these biases are not as bad as in old day, but it is not a color-blind world by any measure. Many of our daily decisions are influenced by the peer pressure and the racial biases that are rooted deep in the society, choosing a partner is one of them. The birds of a feather, flock together – as they say.

2. Unconscious bias: It is human nature, we have our own biases and prejudice, and sometimes we don’t even realize it. If a white person has always seen her friends and families – since she was a kid – sticking with their own kind, her first preference is likely going to be someone of her own kind, even without her realizing it. We are a creation of our environment; our surroundings always influence our actions. So, once again, not your fault or her fault, blame it on the hidden cleverness and treacheries of our brain – the unconscious bias.

3. Not enough in common: A friendship or a relation is often built on a common bond. Coming from a different background and raised very differently, an Indian guy may not have much in common with the white women. For example, if your favorite topics of discussion relate to Bollywood, the game of cricket, desi music…., you probably won’t make very good company for a white person who knows little about all this. Understanding the other side and making a connection based on personal likes and dislikes makes a big difference.

4. Good hygiene Rumor: Some have said this (anonymously) and others have heard this through some friend-of-friend, that their experiences have not been very ‘pleasant’ when it comes to personal hygiene. Not sure how true this is, or if it could be some isolated incident. May be the smell of Indian spices from desi food linger on us much longer than it should, or some other issues…., Or, may be white women are attracted to certain male odor that we – most Indians – lack. In any case, use your own judgment at personal level, and if in doubt, make a trip to the supermarket and buy some new colognes; and buy it from a white sales clerk, just to be sure. 🙂

5. Not well kept: Need a haircut, dressing up poorly, nails and hands not taken care of, worn-out shoes, same pair of pants every day….well, you got the idea. Taking care of overall appearance may be something worth looking into. Now, this could apply to everybody, not just Indians, but it is human nature – to assume and stereotype. So, investing in a full size mirror may not be a bad idea, the second opinion matters, even from our own eyes.

6. The language barrier:The Language barrier could be a problem if you are born and raised in India. The Indian accent – some call it ‘thick accent’ – is hard to understand if you are not used to it. So, keep that in mind. Also, even if you have no accent, the Hinglish – the English we speak back home – can play its havoc some times. A friend once shared this story:
A desi guy met a white girl and when they were about to depart in the evening, he told her, “I will give you a ring”.
Well, she thought that he meant the actual ring, not the intended phone call!

7. Religion and family: The difference in religion, on top of a very different social structure, also has something to do with all this. Most Indians living abroad are Hindus or Sikhs and it may not go well with the Christian or Jewish religions. It is a common perception in America and Europe that most of the Indian guys are from a traditional Hindu family; and there is a great chance that even if he likes you, his family may not accept you. This perception – true or false – can certainly affect the viewpoint from the other side.

8. Too reserved and quiet: Here comes another stereotype, and may be true in some cases. The modernized women in general – white or not – like outgoing guys who are very social and extrovert. The common first impression of Indian men is quite the opposite; they are often considered to be quiet and reserved. One of the most popular topics among the visitors of this site is the tips on small talk; at least we know our weakness. 🙂

9. Mama’s Boy: It is a part of the Indian (and many other) cultures that guys stay with their family – with their parents, even after they are adult. Many cultures don’t understand this. This behavior can often be compared to one not being independent. The deduction may not be true because it is more of a cultural and family dynamics. However, it is true that some mothers pander to their son’s every need, and many women (white or not) may not like a man who is overly spoiled. The lack of privacy is another reason that many women may avoid a mama’s boy.

10. Self-doubt and over consciousness: We are our own worst enemy many times. It could very well be your attitude that is keeping the women away. Being overly conscious about the racial difference or such prejudice can create a constant self-doubt, and a lack of self-confidence when dealing with white women. After all, the world is what we perceive it to be.

The changing times ahead: It should be acknowledged that the social acceptance and multi-culture society is certainly gaining grounds with time. The progress may be slow, but it is there. You can find more and more inter-racial couples everywhere, and that applies to the Indians males and white females too.

By end of the day, this is just another social and cultural issue to a large extent – the Indians guys being not attractive for White women. And on top of all this, it is also an issue of personal preferences. Understanding the view-point of the other side can make a big difference, and it can also help in changing the perception.
So next time, you feel that you are being put-down for your ethnicity, it may not hurt to just ask. The reason could very well be, for example, that she prefers dark brown hair on a brown guy, and you happen to dye yours blonde! 🙂

For all this, you might think that Indian guys hate white women. As discussed in a separate post, it is quite the opposite – Indian/desi guys find white women more attractive!

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125 Replies to “Why white women find desi or Indian guys less attractive?”

  1. As an indian living in germany in a stable relationship with a German Girl (taller than I ), I would like to share a few points:

    My Girlfriend did not know much about India before I met her. She had been to Africa, latin america and europe. Now she likes to cook indian food, wear indian clothes time to time. She, however, is not much into indian music. She likes western/latino/ or african. I cannot care less about it as music is personal thing. We need to respect each other’s personal tastes.

    she did not know a thing about cricket but she can listen to my listens to my talk about it and wants me to play cricket as a hobby.

    She likes my honesty, caring and warm nature. She actually accuses me that I am hyper hygenic as I wash my hands too often and shower not only every day but in summer twice a day.

    However, different girls have different likings. Likings are influenced by the way you have grown up-The friends you hang out with, the programs you watch, your parents etc. I have met many women who have been very warm to me because they understand the differences and the multiculturism. I have met many white girls who did not even want to talk to me because of my looks, ethinitcity or any other streotypes of Indians about indians whatever. But that does not change any thing. I know what I am.

    the Indian friends of mine, who are with white girls, are with them for true reasons. however, i know two indians n my cricket club, who were married with German girlfriends and divorced them now to marry with indian girls. Both of these are neither very educated nor very sympathic people. They are not very sympathic, well mannered or adative to the new culture. I tend to believe they married them to get the residence permit in the country and just to have fun with them. I hate it. This attitude of some indians don’t help the image. Usually well Educated and employed indians don’t need native women to get the permit.

    one cannot change tone’s features, height, or colour but one can surely work on Hygine, language, honesty, respectfulness, warth, openness and empathy. Always have confindence in one but don’t be cocky or too proud of indian cuture, economy, indian women or anything. Listen more and learn. if you have these qualities, you would be acceptable everywhere in the world. If you attract girls based on your qualities than the looks, the relationshipm would usually flourish.

    I love my girlfriend and she loves me.

    namaste

    Mahesh

  2. Being a 5’4″ tall Indian and living in Germany, I would like to add that, Indians/asians/latinos on average are shorter than Europians. Unfortunately, the sample of indians (mostly IT nerds, who are usually less carefuly about their diets and sleep during their growing days) i have met in Germany have a shorter average height than Indians on average. This does reduce our chances because girls usually prefers taller guys. Most of the people (including girls) in germany are taller than me. That does not mean that all of them care only about looks so much. My girlfriend is 2 inches taller than I am and we have been in relationship for almost 4 years and planning to marry at some point. Being interesting, humourful, honest, warm, having empathy, knowledge, open-mindedness, kindness go a long way. An indian friend of mine who is 5’11” and good looking, of course has it easier. He has dated many women. Of course, he is also intelligent, humourous and interesting. But he would do much better with women on average than I would. But I accept myself as it is and I am happy with my beautiful girlfriend. I need not be a sex god and have had many women in bed to be happy. do I?

  3. Your an idiot if you think all Indians are short on average, what I meant to say is that Sikhs and Rajput are scientifically some of the tallest people on the planet, 40% of British army was Sikh, 20% of the Canadian Army is Sikh, Sikhs are known as a martial race by the British, Sikhs are known as warriors in ancient Chinese text, they are described as a tall race of beings bred to fight, the average Jat Sikh in India is 5’8, while the average Indian is 5’4, and the Sikhs in the UK are the tallest racial group out of all groups reaching at 6’4 easily, with so many Sikhs going passed 7 ft in height, while British whites, blacks, and other South Asian groups are 5 ft 9 on average, if you don’t believe me, look up the Khali 7 ft 1, Tanveer Bhullar 7 ft 3 , Muhammad Irfan 7 ft 1, Vikkas Uppal 8 ft 3, Satnam Singh 7 ft 1, aungrezab khan 7 ft 6, I misspelled the last one, and btw the average French guy was 5 ft tall, during the French Revolution, but is now 5 ft 10, the average Viking was only 5 ft 7, but now most Dinaric Alps places are averaged at 6 ft, so Indians definitely have potential, and Jats are a whole different story, and to the person that made this article, if Indians were so quiet, then why are the majority of call centers in South India, and why are white guys so boring? the majority of western nations just go to their 9 -5 for 5 days a week and then they get a beer on the weekends, while Indians celebrate a holiday every month, have you seen the Diwali, Holi, and Christmas celebration in India, there are no western nations that can beat that, the majority of the public celebrates on the street for weeks, and did you see the celebration when India won the World Cup, no western country has ever had a celebration, while people were jumping on cars and blocking traffic for miles, and white women do like Indian men, look at all the white women In Australia getting fooled by Indian men, so Indian men can get residency in Australia, and they travel to Go a every year because they want to satisfied by the Kama Sutra kings, and 75% of white women and men end in a divorce, while Indian men and women stick together more often, even the third generation Indian people in the UK, and Indian women are the third most satisfied women on the planet as rated by Durex, while white countries come mostly last with China and Japan.

  4. This article is very good. India and it’s men are disgusting. I met an Indian man on vacation here who already had a girlfriend in America. I am in Germany. His name is “Anmol Chandan” or “Nikka Anmol”. He cheats lies and is a lying piece of shite who is abusive with words. He took photos of our visit to show his friends and used me. He uses online dating sites to find women all over the world and con them and spread disease to them. He uses them to stay or have sex until they see him in person……. He is disgusting with bad hygiene, very small, and clogged pores all over. Dirty spreading disease to innocents. He is doesn’t deserve any woman or a nice girlfriend and all need to beware.

  5. Well i ve read so many comments i respect each and every view points but may i ask one thing from all of you how you get these women, ( i may sound stupid but please suggest) Forget white women i can’t make even indian girlfriends. I’m quiet and introvert and prefer less talking.

  6. Hi guys ! Well ! after going through so many reader comments i might confused but i respect each other views about indian , black men white spanish women and all these things.
    But i want to admit i’m a reserved and quiet person with average looking structure 5″11 . Never have any girlfriend stil a virgin at 25 (within a month become 26). Let me ask you is it possible for me even i can get even indian girl ( forget about the white).
    I’vr read the comments you all guys have gifted with white & latino women’s. It good to know that Indians spreading their magic in the eyes of westerners. But what about me ? am i gonna die with arrange marriage sort of thing.

  7. Hi guys ! After reading certain section of comments I realize how to luck you are getting your match mates of different origins and also very happy Indians spreading magic oversees.I must appreciate your view point. But here i want to admit basically i’m a very reserved and calm person with average looks 5″11 inch tall.
    Never have a girlfriend in my life. Still virgin at 25 . Probably what should i do (please give me some sort of suggestion). How i’m gonna engage in relationship with any women ( leave alone the white one). Am i gonna die with arrange marriage sort of thing without realising the true love.

  8. Well it’s true. Indian men don’t really know how to groom themselves at times and most of them who are online are just plain creepy and horny. It’s weird. I have a boyfriend and whenever I go on an online chatting website, I always get messages saying pedophilic things. And they all know I have a loving and caring boyfriend as I put a picture of him and I on my profile picture. It’s really creepy and I think that’s one of the reasons why white girls don’t date Indian guys.

  9. I am a British Indian and arrived in the uk 13 years ago. I spoke good English of average height and slim build, respect women and with good sense of humour. I used to go out with friends (mostly white but a few different races) had friends with all nationalities and accept everyone for who there are and not what religion or race they belong to, I an an atheist, so there are probably not many Indians who are more assimilated than me. Most Indian women in the small town where I lived were married and any possibility of relationship would be with white women. I realised that although they would be happy to be friends with me they were not keen on dating me, as there was unmistakably a notion that you would only do it if you were unable to get a British man. I also heard some of them laughing at one woman who had married an Indian (behind her back) on her choice of her husband. I did have a few one night stands, so I guess it was not lack of grooming but societal pressures. This was in the north of England where most Asians are of Pakistani origin so I guess they don’t make a good impression and Indians get lumped together with them.

  10. Dear Mahesh is a retard, you have proved that punjabis like yourself are loudmouthed, illiterate farmers. go stick your head in a toilet and stay there, we don’t need dumb jatts like you, motherfudger.

  11. Well, I happened on this blog, whilst doing some research on ITR. I’ll like to debunk the myth about White women not liking or wanting to date an Indian guy. That’s pure bullshit. Gaming a white woman has to do with your level of confidence, personality, status, and educational level. If you got game, it shouldn’t be hard to game a white woman. I’ve been to India, and see a lot of Indian guys with white ladies. So why should it be different in Europe?

    Between, I am a black guy.

  12. Indians dont have the problem that chinks have. Chinks have real hard time getting white women. Also both indians and chinks are horizontally short if you know what I mean.

  13. Most northern Indians, whether Jats or Rajputs are all 6 ft +, many are even 7 ft tall, I’ve seen a lot of them, they’re also way more aggressive in nature, for some reason you don’t find many of those Indians in white nations, its usually South Indian dark skin Tamil or Gujaratis, I like to just tell you that white nations have an immigration bias and require income stats from people before migration, and usually the aggressive indians in the farmlands aren’t allowed in white nations, so the IT or business ethnic races leave, while the riot starting Indians stay in India, in the UK however they’re are Kashmiri Mirpuris who cause much trouble around there.

  14. Damn this comment section is instense…. I don’t get why people even classify men or women ?

    I mean yeah we can’t help but to look at the color of ones skin but why categorize him/her ?

    I don’t go out and be like that guy looks like he’s an African American, because majority of them are thugs, well that’s a stereotype ! Sometimes I wanna best the shit out of the guys who create these stereotypes.

    White girls, yeah I get that some of you might have had a bad experience with Indian guys mainly because of the religious problems. But this isn’t entirely true for every Indian.

    Look, unlike America, almost each Indian state has a different religion. Like discussed above, Hindus, Sikhs, Muslims, etc

    I’ve personally seen many of my Sikh friends whose parents were perfectly fine with him being and marrying a white girl. Whereas I’ve seen some Hindu’s and even Sikhs whoes families objected. Its more like a family thing then a religious one, so before getting serious with him, Get to know him! If you think he’ll fight for you then go ahead, if you think he won’t, leave him. Simple as that.

    Now my India friends, majority of us consider white women as a prize/trophy of some sort but aren’t interested in marry her. I guess these guys are looking for one night stands which they couldn’t get in India. Like I said, THESE guys only make a portion of the men of India.

    Every country has a fair share of such men, so I’ll be ending it on here the note. Please Don’t Categorize People.

    Thanks
    An Indian guy, who doesn’t intend on picking fights with anything.

  15. I am a white European woman and do not take this personally or let this discourage you, but I have never seen an Indian man that I find attractive. Not in real life and not in media, not ever in my life. I am sure that I would find some among Indian film stars or models, but I do not many of such men. I have a few friends from India,but I also generally do not feel cultural attraction to Indian either. There is one man, who is in the movie business and is very open-minded and respective, for which reasons I find him culturally suiting my needs. I highly doubt that I would ever think of someone who does not belong either to the most educated or the most open-minded Indian elite compatible with me as I do not find their physical appearance (facial features and skin tone), or clothes or their manners or ways of thinking compatible with mine or attractive. I believe that a vast majority of western women do not like dominant or sexist or possessive men. We are mostly very independent and like to be treated as such. We also expect of men to be polite and respective, and we demand equality in men and women relations whether at work or in our personal lives. Anyway, regardless of my own preferences, never give up if you want something. Good luck and all the best.

  16. People are talking about one night stands and chances to bed different girls. Such a shame that relationships that are meant to create family and love life just misused for insane purpose. About relationship no gooddnesss is expected from west. Even if you are macho like a western man , never go after a white woman and spoil your time and life instead marry a poor girl from india. If your health and charms are gone you still need love. If you are good in heart you will understand

  17. I don’t mind indian people in general. I respect them. But I don’t like it when indian guys hit on me and want to go out with me. The ones who have approached me are extremely desperate and because they’re so desparate and insecure it turns me off big time. What’s worse is that they either don’t understand when I’m not interested and keep pursuing me or they get angry when I say I’d rather just be a platonic friend. Guys, if a girl tells you she’s not interested, GET A LIFE and leave her alone. In general, regardless of your gender or race you WILL be unattractive if you’re desparate, insecure and not comfortable with who you are. Rather focus on being happy as you are single and don’t be so desparate for attention!

  18. Here is the simple truth for you….. Attractive people from every country (Whites, Indians, Arabs, Pakistanis, Latinos, etc) get picked up by each others. In other words, beautiful people have no problem finding partners domestically or abroad. On the other hand if you are not attractive then best of luck to you. Doesn’t make any difference if you are white or Indian, You just won’t score!

  19. first I have to assume that most of you are referring to 20 or30 something typical white American female…thats the 1st thing…females that age over here anyway, are all abt me me me and who has what and which one is going to give her the most. this comes from her parents. females that age over here are more concerned w what others think of their BF than they actually are. God forbid anyone looks at anything other than the typical hum drum cookie cutter jock white guy…thats the way they were brought up and also peer pressure. Most females in their 40’s stop trying to please everyone else and start finding their own way. As for me I think Indian men and women are the most beautiful ppl. The men….omg I love them. I think men from India are the most sensual and erotic men I have encountered. I don’t date white American men. it’s my opinion they are weak minded because they have no real idea of what a real man truly is. some woman either mother or wife has verbally beat the men down over here. it’s pitiful it’s like seeing a beat dog in the corner pissing and shaking scared. but they don’t know any different or they must enjoy it idk.. men from any other country are much more masculine and command and deserve much more respect IN MY OPINION.

  20. most indian girls reject western guys because of social insecurity anf racial prejudies.Most indian guys also prefer indian girls for steady relationship.However many guys like white woman as as a choice but unsure of their social acceptance or seriousnes
    In making a steady family.Devorce is bye an large the end result of marriage in west. Indian guys know this fact
    Thats why they are unsure of the future of this relationship.

  21. Make sure you buy cologne from a white person/White sales person?! That’s the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard. Anyone can sell you a decent scent abroad! Stop glorifying whites! Sad.

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