All young women begin by believing they can change and reform the men they marry. They can’t. ~George Bernard Shaw

Some things never change; human mentality for ever-lasting freedom is one of them! :)

Growing Trend of staying single and marriage-free
According to the United States Bureau of the Census, the fastest-growing household type since the 1980s has been ‘the single person’. There has been a similar increase in single person households in England as well. If we look around, this trend is probably true for most of the free societies around the world.
Surprised?
You should not be. The institution of marriage has been under attack for a long-long time. This attack is coming from the marriage itself – the attack from within!
Now, what are these attacks from inside – from the marriage and married life itself? There are too may, you name it:

  • Unhappy marriages – there are plenty of them to go around;
  • Incompatible marriages – Not made for each-other;
  • Marriages with different expectations – ‘I never thought we will end up like this’
  • Drifting away over time – ‘I didn’t know we could grow apart over time’,
  • The past – ‘I miss my freedom of good old single days’
  • The grind – ‘I am doing this for the sake of the kids….only for the kids’
  • Regret – ‘Sometimes I wish I could turn back the clock’
  • The dead End – All the way to something like ‘I hate your guts more than I hate you’
  • ….And many worse endings…

This should not surprise anyone, right? We all have seen this in our society, in our neighborhood. Day after day, there are examples of miserable or failed marriages playing out in our own back-yards. But somehow, we have all have found a way to justify and isolate ourselves from those troubled relations.
“That couldn’t be me. I can never be miserable like this”. Many have made this kind of promises to themselves. These self-declarations may not mean much down the road.

Marriage – The Compromise, the sacrifice
The Marriage brings reality of married life. And if reality is not what was expected, the justification begins. The justification may vary, but it is often there. Just ask around, give it a try!
You can ask your parents, your can ask your friends. Or if you have courage, ask yourself. If your listen, everybody says the same thing, one way or another: ‘Marriage is a compromise, it is a sacrifice’. Those who disagree are either delusional, or crazy, or single, or newly married. :)

Yes, marriage is a sacrifice, some sacrifice for their parents, some sacrifice for their kids; others sacrifice because it – ‘happily married’ – sounds good. A sacrifice, nonetheless.

So, the question becomes – do you really need to sacrifice? Should you really compromise? If the path leading to happiness – the happily married life – goes through the jungle of personal sacrifices and compromises, then may be you are mistaking the destination.
It sounds pretty depressing, right? :(

May be it is a bit depressing; may be marriage is not supposed to be all up-lifting and ‘sweet’; may be the truth is always laced with some bitterness.

Whatever you think, the facts are facts. Less and less people are willing to make a sacrifice. Less and less of singles are making the commitment of marriage.

An increasing number of singles are choosing to stay that way. It is not a fashion or a trend; it is the reality of life. More and more people find it – staying single – a logical, rational and responsible choice. So, it may not be that bad after-all, if the numbers are growing with time. The marriage-free life minimizes the compromises and sacrifices!

Your turn to think for yourself
For centuries, the marriage has been a mandatory part of life – it is universal. It is not a choice. Once you hit your 20s (or may be 30s in some more patient families), ‘When are you getting married?’ is not a question, it is reminder. A reminder: ‘Get up and find someone to get married to’. If you cannot find one, your family and friends will help you find one. Because that is the norm; that is what you must do.

Once married, you can find it out for yourself what marriage is like! A bit too late, but that is the reality of marriage. Learning from others’ mistakes is not an option. May be marriage is not one of those mistakes. The married people want others to join them; why should they suffer alone, right? :)

Or may be, the society does not want you to speak against this sacred institution. It is too big for you to criticize. It is too big for ANYONE to criticize. However, the truth remains – more and more people are deciding to stay out of marriage these days.

Sooner or later we all express our doubts and complaints about marriage, regardless if it is a love marriage or an arranged marriage :

  • If you are ‘happily married’, your spouse must have heard your complaints a million times already! :)
  • And, if you are single, you may want to share your doubts with ….umm….. your mother; may be tell her if you want to stay single much LONGER! But first, make sure you can run really fast – faster than your mom! :)