Monthly Archives: November 2009

Unrealistic dreams are dangerous for mental health!

Are you a Bollywood heroine material?
bride2
There is an interesting observation made in an article published in the Times of India: The Bollywood actresses are inclined to marry the NRIs abroad. Titled ‘Why Bollywood beauties are starry-eyed about NRIs‘ goes into the past history of some Bollywood actresses and heroines settled with with NRIs overseas.

Mumtaz, Madhuri Dixit, Meenakshi Sheshadri and many others over the recent years have followed the trend of looking outside Bollywood, or even outside India, to find their hubbies in the foreign lands. And, along the same path, Shilpa Shetty married London-based businessman Raj Kundra earlier last week.

So what is it that these beautiful women with millions of local fans cannot find a suitable match in India? What is it that makes these beauties to sacrifice their careers, leave behind everything and move overseas? Could it be that the abundance of attention and excessive spotlight become a burden for these celebrities and the only way to escape all this is to head abroad? Or may be, like rest of us in India, the lure of foreign land is just too much to ignore.

Well, the reasoning may vary from one actress to another, the logic may differ, – not that true love needs logic – the NRIs abroad is certainly an enigma and attraction where many celebrities look for their future journeys.

Take a lesson from all this, my fellow NRIs! Next time you put out a matrimonial ad, make sure to mention: ‘Bollywood heroines are welcome’; you never know.

So, do you think you are a Bollywood heroine material? Do you have what it takes to hook up with the glamour girls of Indian films? The question is lame, egocentric and may be borderline crazy, but come on! we, – men – like to dream, don’t we? After all, nobody dreams small!! Continue reading →

2011 USA Green Card Lottery Program – Last call

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2011 USA Diversity Visa Program

According to the US Department of State,
“The annual DV program makes visas available to persons meeting simple, but strict, eligibility requirements. A computer-generated, random lottery drawing chooses selectees for DVs. The visas are distributed among six geographic regions, with a greater number of visas going to regions with lower rates of immigration, and with no visas going to nationals of countries sending more than 50,000 immigrants to the United States over the period of the past five years. Within each region, no single country may receive more than seven percent of the available DVs in any one year.”

The State Department Web site for the 2011 Diversity Visa Program (DV-2011) has been open sinces early October. The entry submission period for DV-2011 is from 12:00PM EDT (GMT -4) on October 2, 2009 to 12:00PM EST (GMT -5) on November 30, 2009. The entry form is available for submission during this period and this period only. Entries will not be accepted through the U.S. Postal Service.

So three more days before the submission period ends.

Please note that natives of many countries including India, Canada, China mainland, England…, are not eligible for this visa program: Continue reading →

Thanksgiving – More than Family, Food and a Prayer!

How to improve your communication skills

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The previous post titled ‘Whatcha say? – Importance of Communication skills’ (linked below) covers in detail the basics of different types of communications and their overall importance.

Now, communications – the ability to share and exchange ideas and thoughts – consist of a wide range of skills. You cannot be a good communicator just by being a better speaker, or just by being a good listener.

And, if the conversation or exchange is not in your mother tongue (the first language) – such as some one from India living abroad – it takes some extra efforts to be good at it. For improving your communications skills, here are some of the main areas to consider :

Know what you are talking about: A communications or an exchange of ideas or the conversation is hollow and empty if it has no substance. Subject-matter knowledge helps with a meaningful discourse. And, if it is just a friendly ‘chat about nothing’ – the small talk – that can also be improved, just read on!

Be a good listener: Listening is the first and foremost part of the communication. It helps with understanding the topic of discussion (‘Know what you are talking about’ – the step above). A good listener also earns the respect or the speakers and is always in-tune with the discussion. For details on improving this skill, refer to the article titled ‘how to improve the listening skills.’ The importance of listening is highlighted in a separate article linked here.

Improve verbal communications: Along with listening skills, equally important is the ability to deliver the message – the talking part. A good command of the language, a good vocabulary and ability to effectively speak are the desired attributes for being good at verbal communication. Those with mother-tongue (the first language) different than the communication language often struggle in this sector. If English is your second language, or if you need to improve your accent in the new language, make sure to consider the tips and suggestion in the article titled, ‘A self-help guide to lose your accent.’

Make a small talk: Small talk matters. Small talk is the art of chitchat – talking about ‘nothing’. The small talk warms up the conversation; it can set up the mood of the discussion. The article ‘30 tips on the art of small talk’ has lots of good information on how to improve your small talk skills. Continue reading →

Whatcha say? – Importance of Communication skills

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At home or overseas – Importance of communication skills

“You can have brilliant ideas, but if you can’t get them across, your ideas won’t get you anywhere.”~ Lee Iacocca

“They don’t seem to fully understand me”
“Am I speaking a foreign language or something?”
“How come no body is listening to me?”
“Is it my accent that is limiting my range of communication?”

Your ability to communicate defines you as a person. You can be the most knowledgeable person around, but if you cannot share your ideas – if you cannot communicate – your knowledge may not mean much.

One of the main hurdles in adapting to a new place or becoming a part of the new culture is the difficulty of integrating into the new society. Our ability to effectively communicate with other is very important in adjusting to a new place, or a new culture. In fact, our success or failure in any walk of life often depends on how well we communicate with others. Any business, any workplace, any relation, any family, any society…..is built around communication.

In the basic sense, a communication takes place when two or more people share or exchange information, ideas, gossips, knowledge etc. The main ways of communications include:
Verbal or oral communications: This is where we talk and listen. The ideas are exchanged, the rumors are discussed, a mother sings a lullaby to the little one, a leader delivers her vision to the followers…..Most of our daily communications are oral, unless you are a writer hiding in the basement – writing away your ideas or fantasies, waiting to be discovered. The oral communication almost always involves personal contact with the audience, with some exceptions such as talking on the phone.
This is the area – the verbal exchange – where most of us struggle in a new place or in a new culture. The verbal communications are often different place-to-place, even if the same language is spoken. Every place has its own ways of communicating:

local slang
local style
local dialect
use of local terms that an outsider may not understand

Continue reading →

12 Self-help tips for Indians to improve English language command

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Self-help suggestions and tips on improving Indian-English or Desi-English language abroad

“Are you enjoying the movie?”
“Simply”
Translated literally from Tamil, simply means absolutely.

There is nothing wrong with the above conversation if both sides know the intended meaning. Now, move that conversation to somewhere in USA or Canada or England, with someone who does not know the ‘Tamil-English’, the actual meaning is lost in the translations.

English language and English grammar is a bit tricky for those who are not used to it, for those with English as a second language. The basic mistakes we make are when we ‘think’ in our mother-tongue, and then translate in our head (Many of us say ‘translate in my mind ), and then speak in ‘translated’ English. Here are some self-help tips on improving desi English overseas:

1. Knowing and Having – the problem of the progressive tense: many Indians often translate and speak with excessive and often inappropriate use of progressive verb form.

For example, consider this:
“I am having a fever.”
“I am having a small family”
“I am knowing that you are having a party without sending me invitation.”

Of course, the correct way of saying is:
“I have a fever”
“I have a small family”
“I know you are having a party without inviting me.”

2. Isn’t it – The tag question: We tend to use ‘isn’t it’ without any discrimination. . It is a habit, but not a good one – everything is not it.

For example:
“Those are lovely flowers, isn’t it?”
“She is so pretty, isn’t it?”

The correct version, of course, is:
“Those are lovely flowers, aren’t they?” Make sure to refer to plural ‘flowers’ as ‘are’ not ‘is’.
“She is so pretty, isn’t she?” Make sure to refer to her as ‘she’ not ‘it’

3.The Royal treatment – the big word syndrome:
The Indian English dialects have originally evolved during and after the colonial rule of Britain in India. We tend to use the royal and big word in day to day speech; such usage is not common in western day-to-day English, especially in the spoken English.

For example:
That is a magnificent idea!
That is a splendid look!

It is not wrong, but more suitable conversation may be:
That is a great idea!
That is beautiful!

4. ‘But’ or ‘only’ to stress a point: That is another thing. We use ‘but’ and ‘only’ to stress. Consider this Indian way of saying, not correct grammatically:

It was he only who broke the glass.
She was just joking but.
She did not go only.

You could say it better such as:
He broke the glass. Or, It was he who broke the glass. ( the stress is on ‘He’)
She was only joking.
In the end, she did not go.

5. Mr. Smith and Mrs. Johnson – Showing respect by using last name: In India, it is cultural thing that we shy away from using first name for our elders, or our superiors at work. However, Western culture is much more informal when it comes to addressing each-other. So it is okay to call your boss by his/her first name, it is okay to call someone much older than you by first name.
If your Boss is John Davis, it is okay to call him John, instead of Mr. Davis.

6. Uncle and Auntie for friends’ parents – NOT: Continue reading →

Bollywood Need to Move Beyond Song and Dance: Amitabh Bachchan

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Amitabh “Big B” Bachchan : Bollywood needs to adapt beyond song and dance.

It is hard to imagine a Bollywood movie without songs and dance numbers. The songs and music has often played a key role in the success or failure of a movie. A Hindi flick without songs and dance is like an Indian curry without masala, the spices.

Many have been saying this for a while, more quietly than in a vocal way, that it is about time for Bollywood to evolve beyond the song and dance routines. The most criticism, so far, has come from outsiders -those outside the Bollywood film Industry of India. Now, a reality check comes from a Bollywood Mega star; a bombshell from Amitabh Bachchan.

Amitabh “Big B” Bachchan in an interview with CNN said that it is about time for Bollywood to adapt to the global film market. He pointed out that Indian cinema needs to move beyond traditional song-and-dance musicals amid increasing international competition in the Mumbai studios’ domestic market.

He said that Indian audiences exposed to Western television and cinema expected Indian movies to be “at least on a par with what is happening in other parts of the world.”

“Technology means the common man has access to the very best in entertainment from other parts of the world almost instantly,” said the mega star. Continue reading →

“Thank you, Paji!” – Canada to Punjabis

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Canada owes its prosperity to Punjabi settlers: Prime Minister Harper

Following the footsteps of Queen Elizabeth and Prince Charles, Canadian Prime Minister Stephen Harper took a trip to Punjab and visited Amritsar to pay his obeisance at the Golden Temple – the Sikh holy shrine.

Pointing out the contributions from Punjabi immigrants in Canada, the Prime Minister admitted that his country owes its prosperity to the perseverance and work ethics of more than a million Punjabi.
“1.2 million Punjabis out of which more than eight lakh are from Indian Punjab are settled in Canada and making significant contribution to strengthening the Canadian economy,” Harper said.

Recognizing the Punjabi settlers as partners in the Canadian progress, the Premier said that Punjabis have been contributing to the country’s development through their hard work and grit for more than a century.

The Canadian government is fully committed to preserve and promote the Punjabi culture and the Punjabi language in Canada, he added.

Vancouver, Toronto and Calgary are three main cities of Canada with large population of Indians, majority of them of Punjabi origin. Continue reading →

Indian Students in USA surpass 100,000 count

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The Institute of International Education, the leading educational and cultural exchange organization in the United States publishes the annual Open Doors report. According to the Open Door 2009, the number of Indian students studying in USA has exceeded 100,000 (one lakh) mark. In spite of the slow down in the US economy, America continues to attract international students at a record pace. India, China and South Korea are the top three nations with highest students studying in America.

According to the Open Doors related statistics on this topic:

The total number of Indian students studying in the United States increased by 9% in 2008/2009, from 94,563 to 103,260. This is the highest number ever for total students from a foreign country studying in USA
This is the eighth year in a row that India leads as the country sending the most students to the United States. However, China is catching up quickly, with more than 20% jump in the Chinese students in USA for 2009.
The Indian student numbers in the U.S. for 2008/209 in detail are:
- 15,600 undergraduates,
- 71,019 graduates (including masters and PhD programs),
- 1,755 non-degree, and
- 14,886 internship participants.

Continue reading →

Desis frequent the White House

IPC 498A – Harassment or cruelty to a woman

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Indian Law against harassment or cruelty to a woman, and dowry abuse

“Section 498A I.P.C. was introduced with the avowed object to combat the menace of dowry deaths and harassment to a woman at the hands of her husband or his relatives. Nevertheless, the provision should not be used as a device to achieve oblique motives.” ~ Justice DK Jain of Supreme Court of India

Many people from India, especially those living abroad, don’t know much about Section 498A of the IPC (Indian Penal Code), nor do they know what to do when a 498A case is registered against someone.
Section 498a of the IPC is a criminal law in which the wife and her family can charge any or all of the husband’s family of physical or mental cruelty. While there is a lot of debate about the use and misuse of this law, the scope of this article is to outline the law.
Here is the famous or infamous – depending on your experiences and views – IPC 498a wording:

Indian Penal Code – Section 498A, IPC
Introduced in the Penal Code by Criminal Law (Second Amendment) Act of 1983
(Act No. 46 of 1983)
498A. HUSBAND OR RELATIVE OF HUSBAND OF A WOMAN SUBJECTING HER TO CRUELTY:
Whoever, being the husband or the relative of the husband of a woman, subjects such woman to cruelty shall be punished with imprisonment for a term which may extend to three years and shall also be liable to fine.
Explanation: For the purposes of this section, “cruelty” means
(a) Any willful conduct which is of such a nature as is likely to drive the woman to commit suicide or to cause grave injury or danger to life, limb or health (whether mental or physical) of the woman;
or
(b) Harassment of the woman where such harassment is with a view to coercing her or any person related to her to meet any unlawful demand for any property or valuable security or is on account of failure by her or any person related to her to meet such demand.

The section 498A mainly deals with cruelty such as:

A conduct that could drive a woman to suicide,
A conduct that could cause grave injury to the life, limb or health of the woman,
Harassment with the purpose of forcing the woman or her family to give some property,
Harassment in case the woman or her relatives are either unable to meet the demand for money or property.

Section 498A of the Indian Penal Code, is a criminal offence. It is a cognizable, non-bailable, and non-compoundable offence.

The terms cognizable, non-bailable, and non-compoundable are commonly explained as below: Continue reading →

British Prime Minister outlines tougher UK immigration rules

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Gordon Brown unveils tougher immigration rules for England

On Nov 12, 2009, the British PM Gordon Brown outlined plans to tighten the UK immigration rules. From his speech on immigration, the key points and policy changes include:

Reduction in the number of professions recruited from outside Europe
Limit the numbers on student visas
Point Based citizenship

Reduction in the number of professions recruited from outside Europe
The PM promised a tougher market test that will force employers to recruit immigrants from outside the local workforce for a skilled job only if they can show that no suitably qualified settled worker can fill the role. The job vacancy must also be advertised for two weeks locally before an migrant can be recruited. In future, the job will have to be advertised for local employment for a month.
“I do want to ensure that we give British people looking for jobs the best chance of filling vacancies that arise as we come out of the downturn. But where there are vacancies that have been advertised here and are unfilled, it is necessary for businesses and for the economy to be able to recruit more widely.” The Prime Minister explained. Continue reading →

50 Money Saving Tips in Everyday Life for Everybody

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Simple money-saving ideas in daily life for everybody

Here are some useful tips on how to save money in our everyday life:
1. Drink water: It is good for you and saves on daily cost of soft drinks.
2. Cut down on junk food: Not good for your pocket, not a healthy choice either.
3. Shopping List: Make a grocery/shopping list before going to the store, so that you buy only what you need. It saves time and money.
4. Walk short distances instead of driving: It saves on gas/fuel, it saves environment and keeps you active.
5. Cut down on excessive TV: Find better use for your time, something less wasteful
6. Minimize carry-out and eat-out food: Carry-out/eat-out is expensive and not good for healthy eating habits.
7. Don’t need most expensive gifts to please family: Buy something functional and useful instead.
8. Recycle: Recycling saves resources, money and it minimizes waste.
9. Use natural light: This helps with savings on electric bill and is better for eye-sight.
10. Cut down on Air-Conditioning and heating: Install programmable thermostats to save on gas bills.
11. Get your News online: Cut down daily newspaper delivery costs if you can get the news online
12. Avoid Loans: Don’t take a loan unless your life/marriage depends on it. Continue reading →

‘Happily Single’ – Growing trend of marriage-free single lifestyle

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All young women begin by believing they can change and reform the men they marry. They can’t. ~George Bernard Shaw

Some things never change; human mentality for ever-lasting freedom is one of them!

Growing Trend of staying single and marriage-free
According to the United States Bureau of the Census, the fastest-growing household type since the 1980s has been ‘the single person’. There has been a similar increase in single person households in England as well. If we look around, this trend is probably true for most of the free societies around the world.
Surprised? You should not be. The institution of marriage has been under attack for a long-long time. This attack is coming from the marriage itself – the attack from within!
Now, what are these attacks from inside – from the marriage and married life itself? There are too may, you name it:

Unhappy marriages – there are plenty of them to go around;
Incompatible marriages – Not made for each-other;
Marriages with different expectations – ‘I never thought we will end up like this’
Drifting away over time – ‘I didn’t know we could grow apart over time’,
The past – ‘I miss my freedom of good old single days’
The grind – ‘I am doing this for the sake of the kids…only for the kids’
Regret – ‘Sometimes I wish I could turn back the clock’
The dead End – All the way to something like ‘I hate your guts more than I hate you’
…and many worse endings…

This should not surprise anyone, right? We all have seen this in our society, in our neighborhood. Day after day, there are examples of miserable or failed marriages playing out in our own back-yards. But somehow, we all have found a way to justify and isolate ourselves from those troubled relations.
“That couldn’t be me. I can never be miserable like this”. Many have made this kind of promises to themselves. These self-declarations may not mean much down the road.

Marriage – The Compromise, the sacrifice
The marriage brings the true reality of a ‘married life’ – adapting to each other . And if reality is not what was expected, the justification begins. The justification may vary, but it is often there. Just ask around, give it a try!
You can ask your parents, your can ask your friends. Or if you have courage, ask yourself. If your listen, everybody says the same thing, one way or another: ‘Marriage is a compromise, it is a sacrifice’. Those who disagree are either delusional, or crazy, or single, or newly married. Continue reading →

Bollywood to the rescue: Australian attacks on Indians abroad!

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Friendly warning: To avoid mental indigestion, please take this post with a grain of salt and in light spirits. The intended humor does not – in any way – take away the seriousness of the Australian situation. Enjoy:

Dharmendra, Amitabh Bachchan and Dara Singh are getting old; otherwise we would not even be talking about this. We would not be worried about some group of kids attacking Indians in broad Australian daylight.
In good old days Dharmendra alone, may be with some help from ‘Big B’, could have taken care of this crisis. And a dance number in between – to prove his cool – would have been just the expected icing on the cake.
But those golden days of unbeatable magic are gone!

Singh is Kinngh to the rescue?

We do have Salman Khan, Shahrukh Khan and rest of the modern day Bollywood heroes. They are a force to reckon with, no doubt. The movie ‘Om Shanti Om’ is a living proof that they are no less than their ‘elders’ – the previous generation of Bollywood heroes! However, it is a troublesome that they have been a bit shy of the Immigration officers abroad recently. So, it may be hard to convince them to board a plane for overseas, if that’s how they ‘fly’!

So, there is the problem, there lies the dilemma – the real challenge! Which Bollywood star should go over to Australia and ‘fix’ those hooligans and thugs, who don’t really understand how good we Indians are?

Bigger challenges demand better solutions, some new ideas. We need a new Bollywood star (or two) to rise to this occasion, and go fix it, once and for all. We need some fresh Bollywood blood who can take over this challenge.

Which Bollywood stars to the rescue?
Who could it be? Continue reading →

The Indians Abroad

Overseas Living: NRIs & India abroad

Monthly Archives: November 2009

Unrealistic dreams are dangerous for mental health!

2011 USA Green Card Lottery Program – Last call

How to improve your communication skills

Whatcha say? – Importance of Communication skills

Bollywood Need to Move Beyond Song and Dance: Amitabh Bachchan

Indian Students in USA surpass 100,000 count

Desis frequent the White House

British Prime Minister outlines tougher UK immigration rules

50 Money Saving Tips in Everyday Life for Everybody

Bollywood to the rescue: Australian attacks on Indians abroad!