Monthly Archives: October 2009

30 Tips on planning and hosting a wedding

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30 Commonsense ideas on planning and hosting a wedding

A weddings is a beautiful occasion. Be in India or overseas, Indian or non-Indian, a wedding brings festivities, celebrations, joy and love. However, along comes the responsibility and the headache of hosting – planning, decorating, arranging, rearranging….The Weddings and the wedding parties are fun, business and responsibilities – all combined in one.

These commonsense tips can be of great help for planning for a wedding, as well as in alleviating the pain of hosting one. Please note that this is not a complete wedding planning check list; you can find many of those online.

1. Season and weather: The summer is the main wedding season in America and many other Western countries. Consider a wedding during the months of moderate weather – spring or autumn. The off-season wedding is also lighter on the wallet.

2. Banquet Hall and venue: Decide on the ceremony and the reception venues ahead of time. Many good banquet halls need reservation many months (or even more than a year in many cases) in advance. As always, planning is the key to execution and the end results.

3. Things-to-do list :This step should also get covered in the planning and the check-list. Make a list of things to do and prioritize. There is a lot to be done. Get organized, you cannot afford the carefree approach of a single lifestyle anymore! :)

4. Guest list: Be realistic in making the list of the guests to invite. Take everything into consideration – the size of the party, the budget, the venue ….

5. Delegate to friends and family: You cannot do everything by yourself. Assign tasks and responsibilities to the friends and family members. You are the boss for now; everyone will listen to you, at least until your wedding! :)

6. Invitation: Include the event details in the invitation – the ceremony, the location, the exact time for the different functions etc. Give enough notice to everyone invited. Think in months if possible. People need time to lose some weight for the weddings, to look good on camera! :)

7. Party Coordinator: Hire a party coordinator if it is a big extravaganza, if the things are getting out of control. professional help can minimize the headache of planning.

8. The budget: Don’t go bankrupt just for a few hours of glory. Fix the budget and stick with it. To save money, look for a package deal - to combine multiple services. Continue reading →

Halloween: Monsters, vampires, witches, ghosts…

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Happy Halloween!

Happy Halloween!

Yes, it is that time of the year again. Turn on the haunted music, put out some spooky displays and cook up some ‘scary’ recipes. October 31st is approaching – The Halloween is here!

Orange and black colors are the main theme this time. The houses are decorated with spooky stuff. The fake gigantic spider-webs are covering the bushes and trees in the front yards. The scare-crows are marking their territories. Carved pumpkins with orange lights complete the scene.

The shopping malls are staged with Halloween accessories. Halloween costumes of monsters, ghosts, skeletons, witches, devils….are on display. The ‘creepy scene’ is enhanced with the gloom-and-doom music playing in the background. The haunted attractions combine entertainment and thrill, in a scary way!

The stores are stocked up with truck loads of candy; there are so many different kinds to choose from. Make your choice wisely; think KIDS and you will know which ones to buy; which ones will make the little monsters happy. If not ‘treated’ with the proper sugar, they may brand your place as ‘the house with bad candies’ and even have some ‘tricks’ all over your property – like raw eggs spattered on your front door or on your car parked outside…

Creepy costumes
The kids are busy planning, planning for their Halloween costume. The goal is simple – scarier the better! Fancier the cuter! Continue reading →

Big screens welcome Bollywood abroad

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Growing overseas trend of Bollywood movies on big screens

A flock of girls, probably in their 20s, – giggling and talking – briskly walked into the theater complex. Quickly checking the movie times, followed by a quick look at their cell phones, they laughed and giggled some more.
“Thanks God, I thought we were late”, Kavita said. Jiggling the car keys in her hand, she went on, “Friday night is our Bollywood night; many of us drive for more than an hour to meet here for the movie date”
“The boyfriends or husbands are not allowed”, interrupted Rupa while her fingers still busy texting.

The ‘Golf Glen 5’ movie complex is conveniently located in the north-west suburbs of Chicago. For Indian movies, today’s choices include ‘Aadhavan’ Starring Nayana Tara and Surya; and ‘Blue’ starring Sanjay Dutt and Akshay Kumar in the lead roles.

The Bollywood is becoming more and more popular in America. Instead of the limited option of renting a DVD from your local Indian store or burning an illegal copy, the ever increasingly popular option of big screen is now available in your nearest cities!
Yes, more and more theatres are showing Bollywood movies on regular basis. Though not many but the choices are there. In so many theaters nationwide, you can choose between a Hollywood movie or a Bollywood flick, depending on what the mood strikes.

Big Cinemas– a division of Reliance, India – is cashing in on Bollywood movie fans among Indian Americans in USA. Spanning across New York, Virginia, California, Georgia, New Jersey…..Big Cinemashas 18 theaters all over America, catering to the growing population of Desis. The posters, the advertisements and the leisurely strolling Indian Americans inside the theater resemble a scene of an upscale theater in India.

The USA has a fast-growing and affluent population of Indian Americans, an estimated 2.5 million strong. For the cities with high density of Indians, Bollywood movie theaters seem obvious and profitable business choice.

“Does it have English subtitles?” inquired a white woman with short blonde hair at the ticketing booth. Continue reading →

Spiritual but not religious

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Spirituality without religion is a growing trend!

Every religion is based on the principles that cater to the welfare of its followers. Most of the religions provide a guidance or knowledge -the enlightenment- on how to get closer to the God. The religion and spirituality often go hand-in-hand. The religion provides commandments or ‘rules’ on how to be a better human being; a basic foundation of spirituality.

However, there is trend amongst modern generations of finding ways to be spiritual without being religious. According to a Newsweek Beliefnet poll in USA, about 24% of the population identifies itself as ‘Spiritual but not religious.’

Rather than looking for God, more and more of us are looking for ‘how to improve ourselves’ or ‘how to be better human being’ or ‘how to find peace in life’. If you look around, more and more of us are searching for a balance in life.

In today’s society, everybody is very busy – may be too busy for no reason, but that is a topic for some other time :) . Gone are the days when going on pilgrimage was part of ‘thing to do’. Instead, most of us are looking for some answers in our own backyard, within our own soul. Rather than saying an hour-long prayer – without knowing the meaning of the words in it, focus is shifting to self improvement, being a better person.

Our priorities are shifting with time. Instead of looking for ‘enlightenment’ or searching for ways to guarantee a place in the ‘heaven’, the focus is on the present life and what comes with it – the daily challenges, the daily dilemmas, the daily rewards, the daily karma… Continue reading →

How to change a perception

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How to change others’ perceptions about you!

“It takes 20 years to build a reputation and five minutes to ruin it. If you think about that, you’ll do things differently.” ~ Warren Buffett

“My boss thinks I am lazy!”
“Well, you are always last to the office in the morning.”
“But, I am always last to leave in the evening.”
“Yeah, but she is already gone by then, she wouldn’t know that.”
“I seriously need to do something to change her perception about me!”

Perception is you mind’s eye:
A perception is how we ‘see’ something or someone in our own mind. The common beliefs or assumptions play a role in the existing perception. Based on many factors including social and environmental surroundings, this is the way our brain ‘perceives’ something or someone. True or false, a strong perception is no less than the real truth. This is how we see things in our ‘mind’s eye’.
Once established in our brain, a perception becomes a part of our thinking, a part of our life; it is hard to change.

How to change the perceptions:
So, how do you change others’ perception about you?
Some perceptions are easy to change. For example, in the conversation above, the boss has a perception about one of her employees of being lazy. That perception can be easily changed by being proactive, by showing up to the office before anybody else does EVERYDAY. Note that to change a perception, you have to be consistent -again and again.

The most effective way to change a perception is to prove it – the perception- wrong consistently. Show everybody that what they believe is very different from the reality. Here are a few common approaches for changing a perception

Create awareness: Let everyone around you know that what they perceive is not true. Share the facts; share the information to prove your side. Nobody denies the facts – unless you are dealing with someone whose mind is already made-up no matter what; in that case, it is not a perception but a deep rooted bias and prejudice.

Build a relation and trust: For others to listen to you and your side, you need have a relation -a closeness- with the other side. If they trust you, they will believe your facts. If not, no matter how reliable your source is, they won’t get your side of the story. Continue reading →

Walking… in someone else’s shoes!

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Treading the American suburbs, desi style

Like a Swiss watch, her timing is always perfect. Just before the sunset every evening, she appears from the far end of the sidewalk turning the corner.
The sound of autumn leaves rustling under her shoes announces her arrival. The shiny white Adidas shoes seem a bit too big for a woman of her height – about 5ft. 3 inches tall. Nonetheless, the clean and bright shoes always stand out, treading the sidewalk, crushing the freshly fallen leaves off the maple trees along the path.
Always looking straight without turning her head, she walks with a constant and quick pace, the gait unruffled and strides undaunted.
There are always kids playing in the front yards of the houses she pass, some riding their bikes along the same sidewalk. There is a lawnmower going here and there, everyone busy with trivial outdoor stuff. With all the activities going around her, she never look around to watch others, or to say hello, or just to acknowledge the surroundings. As if the rest of the world does not exist. She never strays from the side-walk, as if she seems owns it. She walks past everybody without a flinch, without a gesture.

She does not look aloof; she pretends not to be superior- looks like she just wants to focus on her walk. The residents -mostly white families- chat with their neighbors across the yards, casually looking at her and then at each-other.

“Hey honey, look who is coming again”, announces a young mother in her front year, cradling a baby in her arms.
“I know Tracy, shush; she can heart you!” he looked up, taking a break from raking the leaves off the driveway.
“No seriously Steve! Look, she is going to ignore us again today”
“May be she is just shy!”
“She probably doesn’t speak English,…Where you think she is from?”
“Don’t know; may be Pakistan or Turkey, or somewhere else in the Middle East.”
“You think she can belly-dance? She doe not look the type!”
“She can hear you!”
They both turned to her as she walks by, forcing a smile; but she was already gone by then.
“Where is she going in such a hurry?” Tracy said in a lowered voice, almost a whisper… Continue reading →

The problem with Positive Thinking!

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Theory of ‘Positive Thinking’ is fundamentally flawed!

Everybody is preaching ‘Positive Thinking’ these days. You probably receive these fancy quotes and messages in your email. Positive thinking is a fashion now.

Imagine that you are very sick and every part of your body hurts; you are in constant pain, and have no energy to even move. However, a medicine-man tells you to keep smiling and stay positive….
A single mother loses her job, her only means of income for her family. A motivational speaker tells her not to worry, not to be depressed; …. Everything will be okay…..
You are falling off a cliff. Well, don’t worry about your skull about to be crushed. Think positive!!….

Are you kidding me?
Stay positive and be optimistic all the time? Keep smiling even when I know that things are bad, and about to get worse?…

It seems like we are trying to find every excuse in the book to avoid the reality. Instead of facing the true situation, the advice is to ignore it –‘look at the beautiful sun-rise, isn’t it beautiful? Don’t worry even if you are not doing well! Just admire the nature- the moon, the stars, the rainbow…!!’
How could you think about the sun-rise if your own world is tumbling down?

The sad truth is that the reality of our mortal existence does not guarantee a rosy season all the time. Along with the sunny days, we are bound to encounter some storms, may be many more storms and cloudy days. That is how it is; just look around yourself, you can find many examples in your everyday life.

The fact is, you cannot stay positive all the time. You and I – all of us- are bound to go through highs and lows of life. So is the nature of the world; so is the life.

We – all of us – always have something to worry about. Even the kings worry constantly. Bigger thrones have bigger problems – more worries. That is how the world works. You cannot be happy ALL the time. If you are happy all the time, underline this – there is something wrong with your head. Continue reading →

Life after Diwali

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How to handle the after-Diwali blues! :(

“The past is behind, learn from it.
The future is ahead, prepare for it.
The present is here, live it.” ~ Thomas Monson

The Diwali celebrations are over. It is about time to clean-up the remains of the burnt candles, put away the party supplies, tidy up the kitchen and rest of the house….

The left-over sweets and treats are disappearing, at least the tastier ones. The festivities are over; back to reality!

For those of us who are lucky to get Diwali holidays or time off, the vacation is over. The kids have to focus back on the school and deal with the burden of homework once again. The grown-up are heading back to work; the boring and monotonous routine of 9 to 5 jobs resumes. It is a struggle every morning to get out of the bed and face the new day.

Welcome to the real world again, the daily grind!

With the winter knocking on the door, it is not uncommon to go through this depressing cycle and mood swings after Diwali celebrations.

Now, how can you boost your spirits again? What can we do to minimize the Diwali nostalgia?

Well, to help deal with this post Diwali syndromes, there are a few adjustments we can make in our thinking and the attitude. To help with the after Diwali blues, here are some of the changes you may want to focus on:

1. Thank God it is quiet again: Think about it. Now that it is all over, you can finally take a break from all the running around. No more chaos; no more decorations to worry about; no more cooking the special feasts. The deafening sound of loud music and fireworks is a past history. Continue reading →

A Diwali Promise

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HAPPY DIWALI

HAPPY DIWALI

While celebrating and enjoying Diwali, you should make a promise, or two.
On this day, you might want to make a personal resolution to:

Try something new, something that is not you.
Walk a mile, or run a few; it’s good for soul, and body too.
Walk in someone else’s shoes; before judging them.
Look inside; the mirror often lacks the full picture of you.
Share something; there is always something worth giving.
Help someone; look closer, someone always needs you.
Travel and go see places, there is a world to see;
Tell a story-  an ugly, a good one, and true ones a few. Continue reading →

How to overcome the Culture Shock abroad

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10 tips on how to overcome the overseas culture shock

The overseas culture shock is common for anyone traveling or migrating abroad. Some of us are quick to adapt, willing to accept the change. Others hate it and don’t like customs or traditions of living a life different that what we are used to growing up.
The fact is that it is not a matter of one or two days; if you plan to live abroad, you should be willing to adapt to what comes with it – the new culture, a different society and an entirely different everyday life.

Adaption is not a quick or overnight thing; getting used to the new place can take a long time. However, here are 10 tips on how to overcome or minimize the culture shock abroad:

1. Accept the change: Change is part of life; it is a part of the journey. Don’t resist something just because it is different. Give it a try. Millions and millions before you have gone through the same experience abroad. You may actually like the ‘new you’ if you try.

2.Learn the local language: This step is very important, actually the most important. If you really want to adapt to the new place, learn the local language, the local way of communicating. This includes getting used to the new accent and losing the old accent; the local way of pronunciation and the local slang – the whole nine yards. And, don’t forget to learn the art of small talk in a new society.

3. Venture out and try first hand: Don’t isolate yourself from the local culture. Expose yourself to the local common places where social life breathes. The shopping mall, the hair salon, the barber shop, the community center, the local parks….. – go be a part of the day-to-day outdoor life. The best way to adapt is by trying it firsthand. Continue reading →

Sikh Kirpan bill vetoed, now Chai time!

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Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger vetoes ‘Sikh Kirpan Bill’!
So, a suggestion for Governor to host a ‘Chai Summit’ :)

The California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger has vetoed the ‘Sikh Kirpan Bill’, a bill that was intended to educate law enforcement officers about the religious significance of ‘kirpans’. The Governor found the bill “unnecessary”, and therefore rejected it.
The Sikh community has been celebrating the earlier success of the same bill, when it was passed unanimously by the state lawmakers. This veto was particularly surprising given the bipartisan votes in favor of the bill in both houses of legislature earlier this year.
“This loss for the Sikh community is a reminder of our serious lack of political clout in this state. After months of hard work and 100 per cent support from our lawmakers, the Sikh voice was still not strong enough to overcome the whim of one man,” said Sikh Coalition Board chairman Prabhjot Singh.
To be clear, the Kirpan bill is not intended to allow or permit to carry the kirpan. The bill was focused only on educating the law enforcement departments about the Sikh tradition, and avoiding legal battles resulting from any meaningless arrests where police mistakes kirpan as a weapon.
The reason for the Governor’s veto seems to be that it is not necessary to pass a bill just for the sake of raising awareness.

Chia Time -Tea or Coffee anyone? Continue reading →

Diwali in India – a foreign concept abroad!

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The overseas new generation barely relates to Diwali experiences!

Happy Diwali

Happy Diwali

Yes, we celebrate Diwali in America too, in fact all over the world. By the crowd (if slightly more than a dozen Indians qualify as a crowd!) at the Indian stores, you can tell that the desi families are getting ready for Diwali. However, there are no bazaars displaying the fire-crackers all over, there are no sweets being prepared fresh. The sulfer smell of fireworks is missing. The shopping experience is not the same, not even close by any stretch of the imagination.

And then, if you look closely, only the grown-ups are much too excited about Diwali. The Indian kids in American, who have never experienced a Diwali night in India, don’t know what the fuss is about. One can try to explain to them what Diwali is like, but how would you do that? The Diwali scene in Indai is so unique, the festival involves so much desi culture, so many Indian traditions.
You can try…
“Well, it is a festival of lights…ummm..lots of fireworks and sweets…,” you can go on..
“Is it like Christmas?” is a common inquiry.
“Well, not really…”
Words fail to do justice with the description of Diwali, and especially the Diwali night.

How would you describe the excitement and enthusiasm of every kid –young or teenager? The day full of treats, and a night worth remembering… The kids in India, rich or poor, wait for Diwali for months. The count-down starts even before the summer is over.

On this night, the absence of moon does not mean that the dark shall prevail. The endless rows of small earthen oil lamps and candles line up the rooftops of every mansion and every hut all over the towns. Rich or poor, every household is full of light, full of life…

Just like a picture is worth a thousand words, the night of Diwali is hard to narrate to those who have never experienced one. The first-hand experience of Diwali, especially for a kid growing up in India, is a very special one. A well told story from generation to generation about a land far away is one thing, being a kid in India on Diwali night is,..well,.. very different; a totally different story. Continue reading →

What! India invented ‘nothing’?

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Discussions about discoveries & inventions on Columbus Day

“It’s a non-stop invention, this game of life, and as soon as you think you’ve got it, you lose it.” ~Tim Finn

More than 500 years ago, Christopher Columbus left Spain and headed west with 3 ships under his command; his intended destination was India. He seriously underestimated the size of the earth, and was hoping to reach India taking a western ocean route. On October 12, 1492, he ended on a new land – America. Still believing that he had landed in India, he called the native Americans on this new land ‘Indians’.

Today, on October 12, America is celebrating Columbus Day. Discussions about discoveries and inventions are in the air. Today is the day to brag about our ancestors and their discoveries.

So what did your forefathers invented or discovered?

There is a long list of the inventions and discoveries that India has made. Not sure how true or accurate those lists are, we will let someone else worry about that. :)

However, looking at the discoveries or inventions that came from India, why is it that we always look for the small or little things? ..or it is just a skewed observation? :)

For example, here are some of the famous inventions/discoveries that India takes credit for:
Concept of zero: Out for all the number, we decided to invent something that has no value – zero. Come on now, we could have done something higher and larger, right? :)

Binary system: How about binary system, a combination of zeros and ones. Yes, we made progress, moved up by one number from zero, but still, we could have invented something bigger, no? The ‘ones’ and ‘zeros’ only?

Infinity: Then, there are some claims that ‘infinity’ in math came from India. Infinity is ‘something very large’, beyond a number can describe. Now we are talking! Something BIG finally came from India. That is something we should brag about. Now, what exactly is infinity? Well, infinity is any number divided by zero!!! 
Stuck at zero again?? Continue reading →

Barack Obama’s Nobel ‘Hope’ Prize!

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President Obama is honored with 2009 Nobel Peace Prize

We’ve been warned against offering the people of this nation false hope. But in the unlikely story that is America, there has never been anything false about hope. ~Barack Obama
BARACK-hope-POSTER250x370

The Norwegian Nobel Committee has awarded Barack Obama with the 2009 Nobel Peace Prize. The committee said it is honoring Obama for his “extraordinary efforts to strengthen international diplomacy and cooperation between peoples.”

Everyone is caught by surprise by this announcement; no one was expecting the President to receive this honor. Mind you, the President had been in the office for a very short period of time when the Prize nomination period ended.

The prize, it seems, is not for what he has done, but what he aspires to do. The decision is based on the direction and vision that Obama promised during (and after) his election- the ‘change’ and future he advocates.

According to the committee announcement, “Only very rarely has a person to the same extent as Obama captured the world’s attention and given its people hope for a better future. His diplomacy is founded in the concept that those who are to lead the world must do so on the basis of values and attitudes that are shared by the majority of the world’s population.” Continue reading →